what should i do if i found porn in my boyfriends room?

Question

i went to my boyfriends house when he was at work and i left him this trail of surprises... but than i found a porn collection in his room. I also found out that he was lying to me about not smoking anymore for months. Now i kept telling myself, "all guys look at porn, its normal." but it still bothers me to think of him doing it. I'm too embarrassed to say anything, but i dont want it to do anything to our relationship. i mean i know he loves me and hes horny at his age..20. But i have been through so much with guys being perverted asses, that its hard to know my boyfriend likes it. i was molested and have had problems with harrassment throughout my life, and im still dealing with it. its hard and I hate thinking that he looks at other girls or something. i know it sounds ridiculous, but i have no idea what to do. i want to just ignore it! I just hope he isn't addicted or something

Answer 1

You could always talk to him about it, see why he likes it and tell him what you don't like about it. Get everything out in the open before it becomes a situation that gets out of hand.

Answer 2

Chances are his "collection" has been around longer than your relationship, so you really cant get mad at him for having it. What is concerning is the trust factor regarding "smoking."

It also appears that there is some underlining issue with sex in your relationship. You mentioned a horrible event that happened in your past, and that may have manifested in some from during this relationship. Honestly try to talk about it with him, and also consider getting counseling about this. Otherwise, this issue will keep reappearing, no matter who you are dating .

I know we cannot choose what happens to us in life, but you are young enough to resolve this matter.

Answer 3

Guys will be guys, and most guys have sexual fantasies and raging hormones at age 20. He may not be aware of your background regarding the molestation and harassment, and other bad behavior from guys. Without yelling at him for looking at porn, you may want to discuss the issue of porn and also open up about your past.

Answer 4

you said it your self, all guys look at porn, its in their nature to do so. if your guy has never showed you hes a perv then you should have nothing to worry about. if you are bothered by him having the porn you should let him know. don't hold in what you feel, that only helps worsen the situation.
& about him smoking you should defenitly let him know you found them.
i understand how you feel about your b/f smoking, i have the same problem too. instead of yelling at him for still smoking try to suggest him getting help. ((nicotine patches or gum))

Answer 5

You need to deal with your own history. If you dont want sex as much as he does (becuase of your molestation or whatever) its unfair of you to get upset over his masturbation aids
All the men are perverts. Thats just not true
I think you are overly prudish because of your history

PS Stay out of his bedroom when he is not therre and stop snooping

Answer 6

Step away from men for awhile and get your self together .
Girl you don't need a man in your life to tell you how good looking your are or to make you happy if you do WE can't help you here.

Answer 7

Most guys like porn, is this news? rocket science? watching porn or looking at other girls is normal! it doesn't mean he loves you less. Are you happy with your relationship, then ignore it or be mature about it and talk to him about it.

Answer 8

its porm get over it. every boy has it, it would be wierd if he didnt

Answer 9

Consider him Horney and IN BONDAGE. Drop Him ...././.