I've been fighting with my 4 year bf for these issues. I get mad because he says stuff like he would like to be with other girls, like have girl friends and go out with them, and flirt, and other things. And he's always making remarks about him wanting others. It annoys the hell out of me, because, well, i'm his girlfriend, he's supposed to want to be with me. When i tell him this, he says like i'm trying to change him, and be his owner. I don't tell him what to do on anything, i just want him to respect his relationship with me, and not say hurtful things if he wants to be with me. Am i supposed to just let him go on and on about wanting to have sex and flirt with other girls and not let it bother me until he actually does something?
We have an agreement of exclusivity, but he talks about it as if it was too much work.
2007-04-10 06:22:49 · 16 answers · asked by jade 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're right to get mad. Those remarks are not respectful at all and you are not wanting to become his owner because both of you talk about exclusivity and apparently he does not want it at all. Dump him, he does not respect you and this is very important in a relationship.
2007-04-10 06:28:24 · answer #1 · answered by C6 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no! this behavior is not acceptable and you should not be okay with it and should not put up with it. granted we are only human and even you, yourself are guilty of seeing a hot guy and saying wow he looks good. But it is another thing to voice your opinion especially to your significant other and then complain to your partner becuase you want that person you caught your eye.. It sounds to me like maybe he is either not happy in the relatinship you two have or he is selfish and greedy and wants you as well as every other walking vagina! his behavior is irresponsible and if I were you I would give him an ultimatum..just tell him tha tit is not fair to you...you shouldnt have to listent o that becasue in a way it is emotional abuse! and if he can't respect the fact that you guys have an exclusive relationship then maybe it is time to end it...if you dont want to go that route than try giving him a taste of his own medicine at first....even if you dont think a guy is really hot..when you are out with him make comments like he does about how good looking you think this guy is your you wish you coulod ahve one night with that guy....chances are he is going to get upset he might even make a comment saying you sound like a slut or something but rub it ijn his face that he does it too and you should have equal rights in a relationship...
2007-04-10 13:32:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. How rude of him. I would be angry too. This is very disrespectul.
He is damaging your self-esteem by constantly implying that there is something better out there and that he regrets being "stuck" with you. I'm sure he loves you but he is being very insensitive and inconsiderate.
Maybe you should suggest taking a break until he decides if he is committed and can respect you enough to want to praise you and support your emotional well being.
We women need to be reassured to remain confident and he is undermining that.
Maybe you both need to get out and flirt, maybe you can find a guy that respects you. I know it will be painful, but you have your whole life ahead of you and deserve to be treated well!
2007-04-10 13:29:33 · answer #3 · answered by cathoratio 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but the way he is treating you is kinda sick and I know you can do better. Leave him. He's a jerk and will never change. Have more self respect and dont let him abuse you like this. You wont even have to feel bad, because he is asking for this and deserves it. Good luck Hun.
2007-04-10 13:26:44 · answer #4 · answered by Cuppycake♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever read the book "He's Just Not That Into You"? If not, you better check it out quick. GET OUT of that relationship a.s.a.p. After 4 years it will be very hard, but you obviously deserve better.
2007-04-10 13:26:59 · answer #5 · answered by Heather R 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let him go.... as in break up with him. If your someone's exclusive gf, then they should'nt be desiring other women or at least not be so vocal and expressive on those desires. Especially if he knows it makes you uncomfortable, and he keeps doing it, then i guess the choice you have to make is be doormat or stand up for yourself.
2007-04-10 13:28:15 · answer #6 · answered by Danny S 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's giving you all the signs and hoping that you will do the dirty work and break up with him. Then he can be the poor dumped bf!
If he wants to be with others, fulfill his wish and walk away. Find someone who is worthy of you.
2007-04-10 13:26:10 · answer #7 · answered by kja63 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You seem like an intelligent young lady. Let him go, I'm sure there are better guys for you that would want JUST you and be happy with that!
2007-04-10 13:26:53 · answer #8 · answered by Some Lady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the same thing, and all of these answers have helped me a lot, in the choice i need to make, thanks.
Yeah you should dump him, as I should mine.
2007-04-10 13:38:24 · answer #9 · answered by amanda d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to break it you honey, but if he loved and wanted you as much as you do him then he'd only want you and he wouldn't be telling you he wanted other women.
You're gonna have to leave him because you can't change him.
2007-04-10 13:27:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋