Should I tell her?

Question

I recently found out that my best friends boyfriend is thinking about breaking up with her. He would wait till after Prom so there is a few weeks before anything would happen. But I am really stuck because I swore that I wouldn't tell her (this was before I knew what I wasn't telling her) but the reason that he is going to break up with her is because she is too clingy, and she really is I know that I wouldn't be able to date her. So you do you think that I should tell her or do you think that I should wait to see what happens? And how should I tell her? Because I think that she would be really crushed, she loves this guy.

I found out from his best friend. I was talking to him last night and he was like "If I tell you something will you swear not to tell anyone?" (and he has told me stuff before like about girls that he likes et cetra so I thought that it would be like that) so I swore and then he told me. So I would not only be getting myself in trouble but I would also get him in trouble with the boyfriend

Answer 1

Stay out of it! If you get involved there could be major problems between you and your best friend. What if you say something and he denies it? She loves him, you would be the liar. It's best that you stay out of it, act like you don't know and just be there for her if/when it happens. It's better for you. Trust me. I graduated in 2002, I went through all of this petty drama. Relationships rarely make it through high school. She'll find someone new that will treat her 100x's better!!

p.s. Really, if it was a good thing to tell her I would tell you that, and then I would tell you that this guy doesn't deserve promises... But, in all reality, me being in this situation, you need to stay out of it. If you value her like you do, stay out of it.

Answer 2

Gosh, you're in a tough situation. I feel your pain. I think it was unfair of the guy to put you in the middle of all this. He should have kept this to himself instead of involving other people, especially her best friend. He doesn't sound like someone I'd want to date, regardless of the fact that he feels suffocated by your friend's clinginess. I don't think it's a wise idea to get involved, but if you were to act in her best interest, I believe this is a situation that she would appreciate hearing about. Especially from her best friend. Imagine how she would feel if she found out you knew all along about her boyfriend's plan...she would be equally devastated.
You mention that your friend really loves her guy, but it sounds to me that the feelings aren't mutual. Is it possible that she may have some clue that perhaps not everything is peachy with her relationship? He must've dropped some hints if he's so set on breaking up with her.
Since she's your best bud, sit down with her in a quiet place and tell her there's something that's been bugging you and because you care about her as a friend, you want to come clean and let her know what is going on. She might get really upset at you at first, but believe me, in the end she'll thank you for giving her the heads up. Good luck!

Answer 3

Ok think about this. You did vow not to tell but this is your best friend. I think the biggest relationship killers are neediness, jealousy and expectation. Your friend is killing her relationship out of neediness...this is what I would do.

Make her swear that she will not reveal the truth...but tell her the TRUTH about her and what he is planning because of that and you want to help her save her relationship. Better she learns this now while she is young. No one wants a clinging vine...ahhh yuck!!

Then tell her to start pulling back, and pulling back from him...tell her it will work. People want what they cannot have. If she creates this distance with this guy, and learns that to be needy is to lose her boyfriend she will change...Tell her to join a group, or make one up, but under NO circumstances should she be available for this guy. What will happen? He will want her because he will miss her. He will not break up with her...but she must detach a bit so he can breathe. Help her out...she is your best friend. You do not want her to be dumped right after prom...

Answer 4

IF YOU VALUE THIS FRIENDSHIP, THEN I THINK YOU SHOULD TELL HER. BY NOT TELLING HER YOU ARE ONLY HURTING HER MORE. IF SHE REALLY THINKS OF YOU AS A FRIEND THEN I WOULD THINK SHE EXPECTS YOU TO BE HONEST WITH HER AND NOT KEEP SECRETS FROM HER. JUST THINK OF HOW UPSET SHE'LL BE WITH YOU WHEN SHE FINDS OUT YOU KNEW THIS WHOLE TIME.

TELL HER THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO SEEM LIKE YOU ARE IN HER BUSINESS AND YOU DON'T WANT TO HURT HER BUT HER BF TOLD YOU HE WAS GOING TO CALL IT OFF BECAUSE OF HER CLINGY WAYS. LET HER KNOW NOW SO THAT MAYBE THEY CAN TALK THINGS OUT AND NOT END UP ARGUING ABOUT IT LATER ON AND GROW HATE TOWARDS EACHOTHER. MAYBE IF THEY TALK ABOUT IT AND IT STILL DOESN'T WORK THEN THEY CAN STILL BE FRIENDS. I THINK YOU SHOULD SHOW HER HOW LOYAL A FRIEND YOU ARE.

Answer 5

This is a hard situation cause you promised him you wouldn't tell her, yet at the same time she is going to be caught off guard and huirt by this. She's your best ffriend and I'd imagine she would look out and do the same for you. It wouldn't be fair to her if you knew something that was going to hurt her and said nothing about it.

Answer 6

You said she is your best friend? How did you find out? Did He tell you? Also, normally I would say don't get involved with other people's business, but you have to you know about this. How would you feel? I am curious as to who told you. If he did that is tiffling because that is not what best friends do to each other.

Answer 7

I think you should definetly tell her! What if that was you in that situation, wouldn't you be upset knowing that your friend knew something and never told you. That would be hurtful! I'm sure she will be crushed but reassure her you will be there for her! Men, they come and go, friends are forever as long as they are trustworthy friends.

Answer 8

Remember who is your best friend here is it her or him? She will never forgive you if she ever finds out that you knew before the fact and did not tell her and you will always feel guilty about it if you do not. Not to mention do you really want to give this guy a card to play on you when he needs, i mean he could black mail you when ever he wants.

Answer 9

Well, she'll be mad if she finds out you knew before her, and how did that happen anyway? How is it you know before her? This is hard, but I guess you have to decide what is more important, the promise you made to someone to NOT tell her, or your friendship with her.

Answer 10

I would just stay out of it. I know you probably really care for her and don't want to see her get hurt but it is better to just let them deal with it. You don't want to be in the middle of it and she could get mad at you. And who knows maybe the guy will change his mind and you might start something and screw everything up. So just let HIM tell her.