Child Custody?

Question

okay so I spoke with a lawyer and she informed me that I can do one of two things......I could 1-Not put him on the BC since we were never married I don't have to and if child support is all he's worried about then he won't take me to court (this worries me just because if he decides to then I don't know what my chances are of getting Sole or Physical Custody. The 2nd potion she gave me was to go ahead and put his name on the BC ,file my custody paperwork but he has every right to the baby as much as I do and if I were to tell him one day no I don't want you to take the baby today then he could get the Sherrifs to come and make me. She then pulled up his record and showed me that he had a little bit of one.........a support order already on him by some woman...a restraing order that had been put on him by another woman....and a domestic violence or dipute against him by his now current wife....which she had file a couple years ago on him. It made me nervous then as to what to do

because what type of environment would i be letting my baby into if they fight like that enough for her to have called the police on...not to mention he has a felony on his record and recently got off probation this past year.

Answer 1

I'd leave his name off and stay as far away as possible.

Answer 2

DO NOT PUT HIM ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE. Forget about the child support, it's not worth the endless complications you will face.

The real big tip off: the history of domestic violence. Batterers are far more likely to cause endless trouble for you than non-batterers. In addition, they are FAR MORE LIKELY to go after custody--for both money saving reasons and as a way of continuing the abuse/control cycle. Appalling as it may sounds, these abusers are successfull about 70% of the time.

And even if he just got visitation, chances are it would be unsupervised. Another big red flag here: A wide array of studies reveal a significant overlap between domestic violence and child abuse, with most finding that both forms of abuse occur in 30-60% of violent families. Other studies have shown intimate partner violence (“IPV”) to be a strong predictor of child abuse, increasing the risk from 5% after one act of IPV to 100% after 50 acts of IPV. Is this what you want for your baby?

Many of the people here are not familiar with how much family court has changed in the last 10-15 years. There is no more "tender years" doctrine, no more assumption that a fit, loving mother gets custody all things being equal. Make sure you educate yourself!

Answer 3

You have the option of going to court and getting sole custody based on his past behavior. Nobody can make you give your child to the Sheriff or him, all they can do is make him take it up with the court on visitation and child support. His name does not have to be listed on the BC, but they will want a paternity test to prove he is the father in order to collect child support. A mother would never put their child in an unstable and dangeroue environment, therefore if you don't trust his home life, take it you to the court and they may decide on supervised visitation. Good luck and do what's best for your child.

Answer 4

I am going through the same thing as we speak.I have 4 kids.I know from past experiences that he cannot call on anyone to take your baby from your arms.Sherriffs' dept. is not even supposed to get involved unless there is a court order.My oldest girl is 7 now,when she was a baby,the sherriff did go to her grandmothers with me to get my child.The only way he can get ur child is if u leave him/her with someone or if you see him in the store and he kinda "kidnaps' the child.I would reccomend to get the state in on this problem.File for child support and don't be scared.He is gonna start problems if he thinks you are scared!!Don't be!!I feel for you!

Answer 5

With a felony wrap he will never make enough money to pay anyways. You sure did a lot of homework AFTER sleeping with him and getting pregnant to bad you didn't do half this much work before getting involved with him. Personally if I were a kid and had no father listed on my birth certificate (which will follow me everywhere) I would be a little ticked at my mom. Put his name on the certificate and beat it out of town. (He doesn't even have to know and I doubt he could find out)

Answer 6

#1..You don't have to put him on the birth certificate at all
#2. you can put the baby under your last name and he still has to pay
#3.they never give the father custody not unless the mother can not take care of the child herself
#4..He does have rights to see his child .make sure that he does as there are fathers out there not seeing there children or paying for them and they think it's ok
#5.go and get all copies of everything that he has done as this will work in your favor.
#6.Good Luck

Answer 7

I say put him on the birth certificate, make the loser pay for you child and then go to court for full custody. With a record like his they probably won't let him see the baby, maybe only supervised visitation. I think you need to go with the name on the bc.

Answer 8

Have you told him that he is the father? I hope not. Whether you have or have not do NOT tell anyone else that he is the father and do not put him on the birth certificate. If he decides to take you to court and get DNA testing to prove himself the father, you can fight him then. At that time you can bring up his criminal records.

Answer 9

Your child comes first. Remember your not married. If you want child support, you got to play by the rules. No support you dont have to let him see the child. Better yet move away from him, he seems to have a problem with anger.

Answer 10

it is his son make him stand up and be the daddy he was when he shot that night..... If he is not liviing a good live you can however petition teh court for a home steady , have him take aprenting classes and so on but why would you deprive your child of having his father... he did not ask for you to have unprotected sex and conceive him or her,,,,,, use what you have proof on him and make him stand as a man....... there are too many babies out there now from this who does not know their father.. dont make him or her another one of them in the line up of miserable children.

Answer 11

MY BF AND I WERE IN SOMEWHAT THE SAME SITUATION. HE WAS LOCKED UP FOR THE FIRST TWO YEARS OF MY DAUGHTERS LIFE AND JUST RECENTLY GOT OUT. HE HAS TWO FELONIES ON HIS RECORD AND I WAS WORRIED BECAUSE HE WOULD THREATEN MY BOYFRIEND (AT THE TIME ) WHEN HE WAS IN PRISON. THANKFULLY WE WORKED THINGS OUT BUT I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. QUESTIONS USED TO RUN THROUGH MY MIND LIKE WHERE WILL HE TAKE HER AND WHO AND WHAT WILL SHE BE AROUND? THE FACT IS, THAT IS HER FATHER AND I TRUSTED THAT HE LOVES HER. I WENT THROUGH A PROCESS OF CHILD SUPPORT AND I ASKED FOR SUPERVISED VISITS AND GAVE REASONS AND PROOF OF WHY I THOUGHT MY DAUGHTER WAS IN DANGER. ALSO, THE ENVIROMENT SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN AROUND WASN'T APPROPRIATE FOR A TODLER AND I REALLY FEARED FOR HER SAFETY. WE EVENTUALLY WENT THROUGH A LOT AND DISCUSSED THINGS AND DECIDED TO WORK ON THINGS, BUT YOU SHOULD TRY FOR SUPERVISED VISITS WITH HIS RECORD AND ALL. MAYBE, JUST MAYBE THAT MIGHT HELP. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS.