Is it rude to ask people to take off their shoes, when they come over for a party?

Question

I am throwing my cousin her bridal shower at my house. I know I will be able to tell our side of the family, but I was just wondering what will her in-laws think!

Answer 1

NO

Answer 2

A lot of people won't mind, but I don't like it. I am a full-time barefooter, I don't want other people to tell me to wear shoes, why should I tell them to take their shoes off? Really, to each their own but personally I wouldn't ever buy a carpet that can't handle visitors after a good wiping on the door mat.

If there's more than usual mud around (for example if there's construction in the street, or if you live on a farm), then it's different, although I'd always provide the option of people rinsing their footwear at the outdoor hose.

Some people are just as uncomfortable without their shoes as I would be with them, I don't think it's polite to make any 'footwear requirements', only 'keep the worst dirt out requirements' but those can be solved in more ways than one.

Answer 3

No.. not really. I was just at a party a couple weeks ago and everyone was asked to do that.. It kind of bugged me because I was with my boyfriend who is 6'5" and I'm only 5'4" so I always wear tall heels when we go out to parties together so I was kind of peeved that I had to be so short all night. But aside from that I didn't think it was rude, if it's a very casual party I think its ok. But if its more formal or a cocktail/dinner party I think its best you let people leave their shoes on. Plus some people who wouldn't be expecting to have to remove their shoes might be wearing goofy socks or didn't get a pedicure and could be very uncomfortable to have everyone else at the party looking at their feet. So basically- if you know everyone very well and it is casualy its ok to say no shoes.. but in any other case I would say its best to leave shoes on.

Answer 4

Have you sent out the invitations yet? If not, just mention on the invites that you have a shoes-off rule. That way, no one will feel ambushed. On the day of the party, leave a couple pairs of your shoes sitting by the door. When people walk in and see your stocking feet and a pile of shoes, they'll more than likely remove theirs without you saying anything.

I doubt you'll have a problem. Most people prefer to be without shoes.

Answer 5

It all depends on their expectations of the party. What is the dress? Did you tell them they would have to take their shoes off ahead of time? Is it something they knew about?

I would not say it is rude but it is not good etiquette to ask people to take their shoes off, unless you informed them ahead of time, or they are regular guests and understand they must take them off in your home. I never have been told that if I attended a party I would have to take my shoes off.

Some people are just not prepared to take their shoes off in front of others. Me, if I knew I was taking my shoes off then my preparations would be a little different. I would not wear dirty sock, or socks with holes in them or something that could cause a slip and fall. Also, some people are sensitive about exposing their feet. Some people have a foot odor they are embarrassed about.

If you are set on this, then phrase the request as a hospitality gesture. Example: Come on in, take your shoes off, make yourself comfortable. Of course you would already have yours off. Most people will take it positive.

Look at it this way. If you went to the doctor and expected a gyno then you probably would wear clean underwear, your best. You would be a little bit prepared. But if you went for a cold and the doctor mentioned that you had a pamp smear due and he would like to take care of it now, then I am sure you would be a little put off by the request, let alone be required to do it. Or, better example going out on a date, with someone you are in love with. Would you not wear your best undergarments just in case?.

Always remember anything that makes your guests feel uncomfortable can be rude.

Hospitality is universal and all cultures practice it basicly the same way. When you invite guests to your home it is your sacried responsibility to ensure they feel comfortable and are made to feel welcome. Anything that deviates from that is a serious breach of etiquette.

Answer 6

I do not think it is rude at all. I have a rule in my house that everyone takes their shoes off before coming in the house. I have had several parties. I had a shower for one of my friends about a month ago. The first one of the guests visits me all the time so she took off her shoes without thinking twice about it. The second guest that came saw a couple of shoes and me in my socks and asked "do you want me to take my shoes off." I of course said "oh please do we keep a shoes off house all the time." Now the pile of shoes at the door was growing. The next guest was another one of my regular friends and was taking off her shoes as a group of five came. As the group got to the porch my friend said let me get out of your way so you can take your shoes off. I didn't even have to tell the group my friend did it for me. Now there porch had so many shoes on it that when the last few people arrived they just added their shoes to the pile.

I have people over all the time and most of the time a couple of shoes scattered at the door and me answering the door in my white socks is enough to clue people in that we don't wear shoes inside.

My daughter has had parties for kids and their parents and usually the friends of my daughter tell their parents to take their shoes off. In fact many of my daughters friends have shoes off houses as well. So it is nothing new when they come over to our house.

But if you are having a party just tell people up front if they don't pick up on any of the clues. Just say "Oh, we don't wear shoes inside the house so if you could just take yours off that would be great."

Answer 7

Are you going to ask them to refrain from eating and drinking, as well? Red wine is awfully hard to get out of carpet...

Personally, I think you should just have a really nice, rough mat outside your front door, and another inside mat inside your front door. Most people know to wipe their feet on shoe mats.

Unless you live in Georgia out in the sticks where people live on dirt roads and will track red clay into your home and on your carpet, I'd say that their feet are clean enough, and that a good vacuuming after the party's over will remove any dirt that was accidentally brought in. Really, you run a greater risk of someone spilling food/drinks than you do someone actually tracking in mud.

Answer 8

No. i have said that to people, even though my sisters think that is being rude to guests. my friend ( not from the same country) tells people to take off their shoes before entering too. People shouldn't be offended by this since alot of people from different cultures do this. they should be understandable about taking off their shoes. if their are shoes left at the doorsteps or outside the door, that should be a clue for them to leave their own outside.

Answer 9

This depends on the people that are coming over. Are they friends of yours? or are they people that you work with? Either way it is entirely up to the home owner. As a guest I would find it a little rude, A remedy to this situation is this. Provide slippers. New slippers. Make them a part of the party, People can take these slippers home with them when they leave. This solves both problmes. Dirty shoes in your house and your guest being uncomfortable without shoes on, D & G Gifts Etc www.dandggiftsetc,com or http://stores.ebay.com/D-G-Gifts-Etc

Answer 10

No its not.
I do it all the time. Sometimes I put a sign at the door that says take off your shoes!
When my parents invite people over for a party, they usually tell them, on the invitation, to bring an extra pair of shoes that haven't been worn outside.

Answer 11

No this is your home that you have probably put alot of time and money in. There is nothing wrong with wanting to keep things nice and clean. They will figure things out when they see that everyone else has their shoes off.