I love my b'friend to bits and I know he loves me but the problem is neither of us are sold on the marriage front mainly because of the expense, but I want the commitment that marriage gives.
So has anyone got any ideas on what we can do to 'get married' without actually getting married, if that makes sense!
We don't want anything big or even official by law, just something that shows to family, friends and each other how we feel.
2007-04-10 04:57:07 · 34 answers · asked by lee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You can do a "commitment ceremony" just like gay people do - vows and all. I'd contact one of ministers that does those ceremonies. I know they do them in Vegas too.
Another thought is a pagan/Renaaissance type ceremony - a "hand fasting" ceremony - there may be done at the Ren Faire nearest you. You could take people and wear costumes & everything.
Sorry people are beating you up here on Y!A - there are lots of valid reasons to never have a legal marriage - "marriage penalty" on taxes, effect on property owned, inheritances, all kinds of things. That doesn't mean you love each other any less - look at Kurt & Goldie! There are lots of people who live an alternative lifestyle & we need to be tolerant of their choices. Good luck to you both!
2007-04-10 05:54:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not sure how you can 'show' people your committed... as long as you are both committed to each other, thats all that should matter..
Could say:
Get married abroad!! All its cost is the holiday.. so many hotels do wedding packages within the price!! Then you won't have to worry about the expense..
Buy 2committment rings, and have a evening out with your friends and family at your favourite restaurant or have garden party...
But it all cost money..! Just be true to each other.. love doesn't cost a thing
2007-04-10 05:04:13 · answer #2 · answered by ஐ♥PinkBoo - TTC #1♥ஐ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ok, there is obviously something going on here that's got nothing to do with money. You can just go to the courthouse and get married for $50 after all. I wonder what you aren't saying?
Anyway, there are plenty of reasons to get legally married--tax breaks, health insurance, etc. God forbid something happens to one of you...nothing that belongs to you two is legally yours. It goes to the parents.
Aside from that fact, other than actually getting married, you can't really do anything to tell your family other then telling them straight out. Be prepared, though, because everyone is going to expect you to get married. You can't have your family treat you like you're married if you are not, so you aren't going to be able to flaunt your love without making people sick. Sorry, but it's the truth.
To really get the commitment you seek, you just have to talk it over with your man and have open lines of communication always. Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon have been together forever without getting married...and they're still together because they don't shove it in everyone else's face.
2007-04-10 05:20:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You can't have the commitment that marriage gives, without being married. Sorry. If it's just the expense, go down to the court house, and get married. It can't cost more than $50. Then invite your family and friends over, and tell them you're married.
2007-04-10 05:31:03 · answer #4 · answered by Tiss 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Elope. You can't have a "marriage commitment" without a marriage. Sorry. To do otherwise is just pretend. I would not tell the families until after the elopement, though, because love them as you might, they will end up leading you away from a simple exchange of vows.
2007-04-10 05:09:25 · answer #5 · answered by Lady M 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is over-rated...I believe it causes more harm than good. I'm married so I know. My husband and I had a justice of the peace wedding because it was "the thing to do" since we were having a baby. We always knew we would be together forever but we did that just to please our families since neither of us felt the rushing need to get married. We had an awesome party though about 6 months after we got married just to like you said" to share our commitment with our families." It was a lot like a normal wedding reception but a lot less traditional and much more fun(and cheaper.) I wish you luck
2007-04-10 05:03:00 · answer #6 · answered by Ruby Tuesday 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like you want it both ways...you can't be married without making a big commitment and you can't be really committed without marriage. Figure out what you both really want. There is no halfway about marriage.
2007-04-10 05:23:09 · answer #7 · answered by orangeflameninja 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow! I actually used to think this same way. How ironic!! Just get engaged. It shows your desired commitment to each other and also shows others just how "deep" into this relationship you all are. You both will set the date when YOU are ready. Don't let others pressure you. Don't let it be pressure between the two of you. Don't get married until this question you posted seems......silly or no longer an issue (smile).
2007-04-10 05:16:47 · answer #8 · answered by Just Fiine 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Hi Lee,
i totally understand what you mean, i feel the same way. I feel very insecure with myself so want that bit of added commitment and security knowing that i will be the one he keeps coming home and that it is me he wants to be with however neither of us want marriage yet either so its just not knowing how to do it. Ignore other peoples comments its how we feel in our own relationships that count not how other people view theirs. If you do think of any ideas though please let me know. x
2007-04-10 07:34:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have a love service invite friends say poems words to each other or get friends to do it have claudagh commitment rings and just be happy
2007-04-10 06:06:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋