My ex and I have been apart for a month, we dated for a year. he's 30 and I'm 25... We both mutually decided that we still want to have each other in our lives, I still love him and he says he thinks he still loves me , but just doesn't want a girlfreind righ tnow b/c he would just end up sabotaging it (lots of issues in his life right now). He said he wants to be friends and be able to do things friends would do and talk live civilized adults. This is great, but I stilll have feelings for him and he knows that. Is it possible to become friends (which I know takes time) with an ex with the hope that somewhere down the line in the future it could be more? I feel like he's "sewing his wild oates" before he "settles down". We had a wonderful relationship, I just don't think he's ready to commit (he's afraid of it b/c of his ex breaking his heart)... Is it possible to be friends and turn it into more, and if so, how? We are great as a couple, he's just not ready...
2007-04-10 04:34:57 · 20 answers · asked by Heather L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh honey! What a predicament! if you really REALLY think there's a chance you could get back together, I would keep him in your life -- but at a bit of a distance. It could really work out, but if you let him get too close you'll just end up feeling stabbed in the back if he finds someone new. :(
If you know in your heart that he'll just never commit, you sadly might have to let him drift away. Having him in your life is appealing on the surface, but if you can't have him, it'll eventually be too painful!
Sorry sweetie - just try and figure out your real feelings - go write in a journal, do anything. It'll all be ok & work itself out in the end!
2007-04-10 05:14:01 · answer #1 · answered by blondie22 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's possible, but you need to give yourself some time to get over him. Otherwise you'll end up hurting yourself. By no means should you put off another relationship in hopes that this one might turn into something more. I have an ex who is one of my best friends and he's still in love with me. It hurts me to think that by me being with someone else it hurts him, but I know that he does not want the kind of life I want. If the two of you can work it out, I'd say go for it, but remember...first and foremost is the healing process.
2007-04-10 04:50:01 · answer #2 · answered by tinythesp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to become friends but if you have the idea in the back of your head that you might sill get back together it won't work. You have to let go to be able to really build that friendship. If you don't let go you can still do it but it will be a very painful friendship for you because you will be forced to hold it all in. The reason being is that if he is constantly reminded of how much you love him and want to be with him he will start to feel guilty and will run from you. So if you can't let go and you still want that friendship I wish you luck. It will be a tough road. I know because I'm on that road. I do hope that you will be able to let go and build a beautiful friendship.
2007-04-10 04:44:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
of course no longer. I even have been interior the comparable sitituation for over 10 years! and that i'm no longer with him now. i admire him better than the different guy that I even have been with.that's to no longer late to be freinds back in case you the two can basically be buddies except you decide directly to waste numerous some time on b.s. And basically undergo in concepts you broke up for a reason basically undergo in concepts that.
2016-10-21 12:52:03 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are about 20 different questions in there.. but if he isn't ready, he isn't ready..
And, that leaves you sitting there breaking your own heart trying to be patient by being his friend and hoping for more..
I can understand how frustratingly stuck you might be.. but, I dont see any way out of it.
Smothering him will push him away. Or you can sit back and give him space and be wanting in on of all the fun he might be having in life that you are not a part of.
That is something only you can decide..
2007-04-10 04:50:59 · answer #5 · answered by lost_but_not_hopeless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, a 30 year old that is not ready probably won't be for quite sometime, and your still young.
I would try to find someone else, and let the future work itself out. If it hurts you to be around him tell him that. Maybe you can be "just friends" later, like in a year or so.
P.S. - I'm friends with a lot of my ex's, but I don't want to be in a relationship with them.
2007-04-10 04:41:03 · answer #6 · answered by lucianna_0317 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, seeing that person brings back all the memories you two had together good and bad. It's usually the bad ones come first. However, some people can do this. I'm not one of them. I never become a 'friend' to someone that I have been intimate with.
2007-04-10 04:47:44 · answer #7 · answered by Iron What? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is very possible that you two will get back together. It does sound like he's not ready to comit and that he wants to play the field so DONT sweat him to much this will just turn him off! and you dont want that to happen. Give him some time and let him know your still there.
2007-04-10 04:56:03 · answer #8 · answered by camperck828 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry hon but there is just no way you are ready to be ***just friends***. After the love has gone... then perhaps you can get back to the friendship that you started with...
However & BUT
If your relationship was not built on a friendship but started with a ***lustship*** then forget the friends.
Good Luck
Glady
2007-04-10 04:40:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, I don't think it's possible. There's a reason why you guys aren't together. Those reasons will exist and not allow you guys to get back together. If you do, it probably won't last. I've gone through that before and on the second try I saw why we couldn't be together. Best Wishes.
2007-04-10 04:39:05 · answer #10 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋