what do you do with an alcoholic father?

Question

-who refuses treatment
-has many problems he refuses to acknowledge
-lives 1,000 miles away
-caused my family's divorce
-burned down our house when i was five
-chose alcohol over his family
-thinks love is money
-

Answer 1

You wait until hes ready to change, nothing happens until hes ready, what you do is go to Al-anon, to understand what his illness has done to you and your family from people who have been through it and know what it means to have an abusing alcoholic parent.
Right now, hes a toxic person, you owe him nothing and need not stay in contact with him until he enters a 12 step program.

Answer 2

if persuading him didn't work then he would have to be taken to a alcohol abuse treatment center by force.. you're saying he is 1000 miles away , if that is outside the US then you can still find places. here are some links of alcholic rehabs:

http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/

http://www.burningtreeranch.com/?gclid=CMjz1NO_uIsCFQlJSgodT1Fjwg

http://www.baysidemarin.com/

does ho constantly see a therapist- if so, then he needs ALOT more than that. Dont throw him in a hosipital and put him in a small room. I recommend he goes to a rehab far from where he lives. And you should have someone with an alcohol abusive experience speak to him about how much danger this problem is to him and his own family. If he abuses you in any kind of way then you should call a child care services (if you're under 18) or call 1800 999- 9999

if you don't like this therapy thing, then speaking to him individually, or write him a letter. I feel that this is something that your family alone cannot handle so i recommend he gets some serious professional help. I suffered from depression and i was put in a clinic- i didnt like it but at the end i felt a lot better.

other than that, i dont know how else to help you!
here is someone else who has an alcoholic father
http://dir.salon.com/story/mwt/col/tenn/2005/08/17/alcoholic_dad/index.html

Answer 3

This is your father and I understand how much you love him, but there is nothing you or anyone can do. I and my brothers have tried many different things with my mother for years and it comes down to them wanting to change. This is not your problem and is by no accounts your fault in anyway. He loves you and the family he lost that is for sure but he has a problem and it is best to stay at a distance as you are because then you are protected from the damage his addiction is causing in his life. Addiction is a very bad thing and it is hard not to take it all personal, you have to be willing to forgive your father some day for all these things. Realize that alcohol addiction changes the way a person thinks he loves you that is for sure more than the drink he has an addiction though. I am sure he buys you things as a guilt token, meaning he feels so guilty for what he has done and for not being there with you he is trying to find a way to make it better. All I can say is you just have to wait for him to hit rock bottom, you can not force him to do it. You can not reason with the addiction either, he is not thinking clearly.

Answer 4

Yeah! Excellent question. ! The first thing to do is to FORGIVE, his past actions, and understand that Alcoholism is a Disease. That is all you can do for him. Have you tried INTERVENTION, where the whole family and friends talk to him that he needs treatment.? Has he a Doctor that may be able to treat him? AA is always available, however he needs to want help. Sometimes attending AA meetings can be ordered by the court if he has committed something like a Driving under influence ... or some other offense while under the influence of alcohol. Include him in your prayers.He is fortunate to have a child that still cares. Remember that it is the Alcohol, that is causing this type of behavior.AlAnon is a good place for the family of the Alcoholic to get support and help God bless you.

Answer 5

That's a hard question. Contact alcoholics anonymous. Often alcoholics see the drinking as normal. Somewhat like someone drinking a lot of soda. In his eyes the divorce was a result of incompatibility, and not choosing between you and the alcohol. The key question is, what do you and your family want for your family?
I often say that you have to first work at helping someone what to help themselves before you can help them.

Answer 6

Yeah, my dad was an alcoholic. He kicked me out of home when i was 15yrs old, for no reason. He had many falls & many domestics with my mum & now he has got dimensia. Stay away from your dad. He obviously loves HIS life. He is selfish & there is no getting through to him. He will kill himself through alcohol diseases - heart attack, stroke or dimensia. Its a shame but, to him, he is normal & everyone else is not. He will always be your dad but, you need to let go.

Answer 7

Pray for em Boo! And try to saty away from him. Maybe talk to him over the phone and express your feelings if no change then leave him in the hands of the Lord.

Answer 8

just love him,that's what he needs most of all.my mom and dad were both alcoholics these people suffer enouph,it's life hurts that bring them there,and they don't need anymore hurts from us.pray for him and love him and forgive him.when his past on you will be glad you did.they can not give apples when they have a bag full of onions.we have to give them some so they can give some back.God bless him and you to

Answer 9

just stay out of his way hun=he drove himself to this and he is the only one who can help himself=sorry but you are far better off without him=I know he is your Dad and it is hard=when he isn't going to improve nothing can be done

Answer 10

You do what you can.

Then you decided if your helping is helping him or just killing you.

Can't save em all. But you gotta save you.