When i tell a guy i'm waiting till marriage, does that scare him away? is it better to wait for a while before telling him?
2007-04-10 04:24:27 · 51 answers · asked by forget_me_not 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Not for me!!! It would be the major thing for me to decide whether or not I would want to stick around with that person.
IMO, it's better to tell the person up front, so whoever that person is knows your expectation.
I mean if he's just looking for a quick fix, he will know right away that he needs to take a hike.
If he's looking for someone pure, he will put more effort into knowing you...
I would stick as long as I can, if I know the person that I'm interested in is saving herself for marriage because I do to.
Keep it up!!! :) I'm proud of you...
2007-04-10 17:48:04 · answer #1 · answered by Jimmy the Cricket 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found the best way to avoid long drawn out relationships that won't end in the way you want is to always be upfront and blunt about your preferences in a relationship. Anyone who ever met me before I got with my husband knew I was a virgin and I woulnd't give it up until I found the man I was going to marry. I had extremely high expectation about the man I wanted, don't settle for less, find the best for you!
Believe me this cuts down on wasted time and helps you weed out the losers.
Don't worry about if people will like you or not once you tell them what you want, the good guys will respect your wants and the ones still interested will stick around.
2007-04-10 04:33:53 · answer #2 · answered by Emily M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys aren't interest in waiting for sex. I would suggest that you wait a reasonable amount of time, rather than dump it on him before the appetizer. But definitely tell him. Use it as a litmus test for whether you want to entertain the guy as a possible boyfriend. If you are certain you are waiting for marriage then you need a guy who will respect that.
2007-04-10 04:28:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say it "scares" him away.
Alright, so let's say THAT Guy is the type of man that just wants to have sex. THAT Guy will probably be think, "Heh, she says that now, but in a week she'll be biting the headboard." Now after that week is over THAT Guy will probably be like "OMG, I think she was serious," and he'll probably run off sniffing the skirt of some college junior so wasted that anything they do would constitute as rape.
Other guys will probably recognize your virginity pledge as something more like waiting for a serious commitment (like two-three year relationship) and for the person you see yourself with.
Personally, I would never marry a woman without us having sex first, but that is more because I feel that getting married to have sex is morally objectionable and is one of the leading causes of America's high rate of divorce. Kids that practice abstinence until marriage might rush into it at age 18 so they can finally have "proper married" sex. Then they realize that they married the wrong person for the wrong reason.
2007-04-10 04:35:33 · answer #4 · answered by Reformed Nice Guy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, kudos to you for standing up for your convictions.
It's probably a turn off to some guys, but if that is a conviction you have, it is better to say so up front. After all, if the guy gets upset or "scared away" because of that, he likely wasn't what you were looking for to begin with.
Forgive me for being a bit crass here, but waiting will only get you branded as a "tease", etc. Your best bet is to find a guy who will respect you and wants to be with you for who you are. When you tell him, his reaction should be, "That's OK; whatever you are comfortable with." They are out there, trust me.
2007-04-10 04:31:13 · answer #5 · answered by Walsh Fam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what if they run away when you tell them your waiting for marriage then don't worry about it they are not good enough for you. My cousin(male) told every girl he met that and on day he found his mate and she was a virgin also.....They got married 5 years later and were still virgins until there wedding night. Just wait for the right person and he will come....DO NOT let ANYONE pressure you.
2007-04-10 04:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by todayillsee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a guy who did not wait till marriage, I think it's important info to share. Not because it won't make guys leave, but because we don't want to wait. That's going to be a problem. You'll want to get it out of the way ASAP.
As funny as it may sound you want want to get a t-shirt that says "Waiting for Marriage" and on the back "Seriously"
You'll want to repel incompatible guys and attract guys who will wait with you.
2007-04-10 04:30:51 · answer #7 · answered by cig.nature 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is someone out there for everyone. Me personally, no virgins. You may not understand this right now and this may not be your case. If you get married a virgin some day you may want to know what else is out there. This has much bigger ramifications. Several of my friends are divorced now due to this very fact. They waited, they regretted, they left. Right now you think it is an issue for him. The hard truth is that someday it will be an issue with you.
2007-04-10 04:36:14 · answer #8 · answered by Ray2play 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It won't scare him if he's waiting also. If that's important to you, and it sounds like it is, bring it up within the first month, before you start to fall for the guy. I am blessed with a man just as abstinant as I am. We've been together a year and a half. Getting married in September.
2007-04-10 04:29:25 · answer #9 · answered by justcallmeriss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a guy won't be with you because you won't have sex with him, you are better off without him. You might as well tell a guy right away and get it over with. That way you can get rid of the bad ones and find the right guy that will respect you enough to wait.
2007-04-10 04:27:36 · answer #10 · answered by Jane 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋