A young man committed suicide according to his note... because he was gay...?

Question

He sought counseling from his pastor and parents who said that he must either be celibate...or deny himself and marry a woman. He was told that being gay, he would go to hell otherwise. He saw no way out, and according to his note, did not want to disappoint his parents or his church...nor, did he want to live a lie.

Do churches/pastors have a responsibility to be more careful
when "counseling" people. Do they really understand the psychology behind homosexuality, etc...

Because fundies speak from their belief structure and interpretation of the gospel...they are speaking to someone whose sexuality may be biological...

Is this logical...To condemn what may be biological, with beliefs?

When will fundies be held responsible for their hateful rhetoric? Do fundies realize the havoc they cause on people and families by pretending to be all knowing, and being the ultimate authority on scripture? No one is God...no one should speak as if they are.

Answer 1

What happened to this young man is a tragedy, no matter what your beliefs may be. He was let down by his parents and his pastor, not because they were against his sexuality, but because they didn't nurture him and counsel him with love and compassion. Instead they gave him threats and ultimatums. I don't think it's judgmental to say you believe homosexuality is a sin. That is a belief and opinion and can be expressed. It IS very judgmental to tell someone they are going to Hell. They didn't seek professional counseling for this obviously depressed man. They didn't say that forgiveness and love are what God is about. They didn't say that they too can forgive and still love him no matter what. It's just a waste of a young life.

God Bless.

Answer 2

young man committed suicide note gay

Answer 3

An answer like this is horrible,
"Although it is tragic that he first, became homosexual, it is most tragic that he murdered himself. Now there is no hope for him."

Sometimes comments like these make me doubt religion and I'm religious myself.
People are born homosexuals. Why would anybody chose to become gay? If that's true then we chose to become straight too.
I feel so sorry for the young man. I wish he could have talked to me, because I would have told him that there is nothing wrong with him whatsoever. It's people judging other people that's wrong!

Edit:
Many of these answers are simply atrocious.

Answer 4

Don't know what "fundies" are, but yes Pasters, Preachers ,the like should be very careful and take a pshycology class or 2 so they know the signs of a depressed person. Maybe next time this paster, preacher will study up on depression and will be able to give better advice next time or recomend a therapist to a depressed person.

Answer 5

another example of how our persecutive society wreaks havoc on innocent people.

get this everyone above: if we could just choose to be straight, then why wouldn't we? why do people cry at night for god to make them "not gay"? why did this poor man kill himself?

i'll tell you why.. because he CANT just choose to be straight, Bisexual people can choose to live heterosexually, sure, but gay people are stuck with it. and he sacrificed himself because that way, he wouldn't be committing the sin of living as himself ( a homosexual person) and he wouldn't be sinning against his parents. the fact that they all turned their backs on him in his time of need just goes to show the poor attitude to life that some people have ( note, not all, just some).

and to the above guy that said maybe if people said gay was ok he might be alive? you're wrong, because this person COULDNT just choose to be straight, no matter what anyone would do, he'd just be even MORE ridiculed than already.

if people would realise that it isn't a choice, that we don't do it just because we feel like being bad, but because its just the way we are, then we'd have less people killing themselves.

the worst part is, the way the pastor told him he has no hope, either to live a lie and marry someone, or become celebate.. they basically condemened him to death anyway, they may not have been 100% of the reason, but to be turned away like that, it would be one of the strongest factors to his suicide, so you could say that these people palyed a part in his murder.

as for marrying someone he didnt love.. thats just screaming out saying "please commit adulterey"

some people are just blinded by religion it seems, it's preventing them from seeing people as humans, and treating them like animals.

and it isnt all christians, far from it, many christians i've met say that they don't exactly say that they like the idea of homosexuality, but they still treat me like a human, like a friend. they are true christians, love thy neighbour as you love thyself, and Don't Judge lest you be judged.

its hate-mongering people like some of the above, that are bastardising the religion ( technical term) and making the majority of christians look bad.

stop the hate.

Answer 6

This kid's death is squarely on the heads of the parents and the pastor. I would be shocked at the other responses to this question if I didn't already understand just how hypocritical and hateful these so-called righteous folks really are.

Answer 7

How dare anyone say that it's sad for his church? Which bit was sad - him being gay in the first place, them turning their back on him utterly, him killing himself? The church is a building, and if the people inside it couldn't treat one of their "own" with anything approaching love then how can I possibly believe they are a force for "good" in the larger society? They can't have it both ways - once they turned their back on him, they gave up all rights to mourn his loss.

Answer 8

I asked a similar question recently. I hoped that Christians would see how their homophobia is destroying lives for absolutely no reason. This is a striking example. To tell someone you love that they are going to hell for something they can't control is abusive and hateful. You people should be ashamed of yourselves. If I were that pastor, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

And neither should anyone else if their actions directly caused someone to kill themself. I just can't believe that this wanton destruction of life would have been part of Jesus' teaching and intention. I don't see how anyone can even use the Bible to justify it.

Answer 9

He didn't commit suicide solely because he was gay - he committed suicide because he was persecuted for being exactly whom God made him to be.

In his hour of need, he turned to his parents and the church, who evidently stated that they could not accept God's handiwork and God's gifts, and the life God planned for him. How such people can turn their backs on a child of God is beyond my comprehension.

I would wholeheartedly suggest to any LGBT teen who is experiencing difficulty to start with a more neutral counselor, say at school or in the psychological community. They are more likely to give healthy advice and not have their own moral value judgments intrude.

The bottom line is: this method of "counseling" killed the teen involved. It should not be suggested to ANY impressionable teen as the sole answer to difficulties.

EDIT - I am amazed at the amount of hypocrites calling themselves "christians" who have answered this question. There is no love in them.

Answer 10

This doesn't surprise me.

Society is getting better about this.

Transgender folk are at the same place that gay/lesbian were 25 years ago. The suicide rate is extremely high, all because they can't be accepted as who they are.

Fundies have their head stuck so far up into their, uh, bible, that they couldn't see the truth if it bit them on their privates.