they hate him!!!?

Question

my parents hate my boyfriend. the only thing my mom has gotten to know about my boyfriend is things from his myspace. she doesnt like the fact that im white and he's black. my mother has always had slightly racist qualities, but i didnt realize that it went this deep. she constantly tells me that she doesnt trust me, and that she wont condone us dating. she even said that i couldnt go on a trip with our church this summer because he was going. she's being really controlling, and never lets me see him. she's rude to him, and it hurts both of us. i really care about him, and dont like her being this way towards him. my father hasnt even met him and already doesnt like him because of my mom. he has formed his opinions of justin completely on what my mom says. what should i do and what do you all think ?

im 18 and should be able to make my own decisions

i've tried to talk to my mom, but she wont listen. she says that she gave him a chance, and his myspace said that he wasnt right for me. i tell her that he respects me and cares about me, but she says that she wont budge in her opinions and wont give him a chance. yesterday she came to get me from my play rehearsal and he was there. she flipped out, and was the rudest she'd ever been.

Answer 1

Listen Sweetheart......what ur mom and dad r doing, its not like that-they dont want to let u go for any relationship. They did that from there extreem love for u-------they wanted to have the best guy for u, so perfect, looking like hero and body color fair. Parents r always like that.....they dont go for logics or, they dont try to feel that having a boy friend according to their girl's choce is very mych important part of her. But, i dont really blame them...its only their blind love.

I am so happy that finally u got a man...and, u only saw his love for u,not his color.I appriciate. remember, money, smartness,look or color nothing can bring true satisfaction. So, be with him, my hope and wish r always with u.

now, u r big enough......u go and tell ur mom-dad about him, and also tell them politely, "dad, i m big enough, dont worry about me...i have learnt from u to identify what is good and what is bad. so, this time i have choosen the best......dont reject him for look or money or his body color, just seriously think about my happiness"------i guess, this time they wont reject. try to make them realize very nicely that u become big now...u r no more their small little inmature (what they used to consider u; its natural, for some parents their kids r always small and inmature) girl...u can choose from good and bad now.

All the best. but, remeber dont hurt ur parents....just, try to feel their warmness for u....and, side by side let them feel u r big now!

Answer 2

Wow. I dont know how a parent could be like that. That is really tough if you tried to talk to your mother and everything. If you love him or if you like him alot you cant let you parents get in between them. If they dont let you date him and see him then you should tell someone else. If you can think of anyone else to tell think hard. This is just like romeo and juliet except there wont have to be any deaths in the end because if you belive that he has a right to be with you then your parents should be quiet about it. I went on strike once with my mom and at first she was really angy and each time she told me to do something that I didnt want to do I was grounded from everything adding another day. Finally she saw I wasnt going to give up and let up on me and let me do what I wanted to do. I did this just so I could go on a school trip but it made a big difference. I think you should show your parents you arnt going to give up on him. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Wow!!! This sounds just like me! How old are you? My mother did the same thing and neither of my parents had met my boyfriend. I was truely happy with him though. Do remember they are your parents so try to respect that but at the same time they cannot chose who you like or love or who you date. But trust me at will be hard to make a relationship work without your parents liking your boyfriend. It will be ok at first but because it is a mixed relationship there are going to be people all over the place that dont approve. And with strangers you will say "who care?" you may even say that at first with your parents but then it will be "i'm tired of defending my relationship." If you feel it will work dont give up. Time heals everything.

Answer 4

I'm sorry that they hate him IF in fact they do, but make sure that you're not exaggerating THEIR feelings. Hate is a pretty strong word.
I don't think I'm prejudiced but I do have apprehensions about mixed races too. I accept it and have friends of that sort, but I think society is simply not totally ready for it, as we look forward to the children (the products of mixed marriages).
Different cultures have different ways and often end up with conflicts on account of it, too. It seems to be a natural phenomenon and it's not just about races, it'a also about classes and levels of education and economic... It's a societal complex that has been implanted for centuries.

You really should try to sit down with your parents and ask a lot of questions as well as trying to listen, because you need their backing, especially since you are religious. You would want their blessing on your relationships so they won't turn their back on you in the future.
Think about it.

Answer 5

Dont tell her all your business. She sounds nosy going on his myspace and all. You guys are young and should have fun, dont be so serious. If your mom is being rude, I think you should just ignore her. People dont change. You are your own person, and your mom needs to realize that. She should have some faith in you. Relationships come and go, but family will be there forever.

Answer 6

What can anybody say my dear,

As a parent we all want the best for our kids and some times it borders on the Ridiculous what we say and do because in our old heads we know best.

Just stick in there Girl and over time You Will be able to change your Mums Opinions and i doubt if she will even realize it.

Answer 7

You sound desperate. calm down, true love and feelings develop over time. Relationships aren't like they are in the movies, enjoy the friendship you have with this boy and and give your mom time to digest everything and get to know him. Let your parents see that your are capable of being mature and responsible. in this world you have to pick your battles and some we realize aren't worth the fight. They don't hate him, they love you! Hang in there.

Answer 8

Heres my opinion!! Were in the same boat girl!!! But anyways my gf's parents dont like me either. They dont like to know that she is going somewhere with me so she has to lie about it. i know thats bad but in the long run since we're seeing each other it doesnt really matter, all we're thinking about is how happy we are to see each other and be wit each other. Im not telling you to lie!! All im telling you is do what ever your heart tells you to do. No offense but you know your parents cant control your life forever. If this guy means alot to you then take that chance to be with him ragardless what your parents think.

Answer 9

i do no longer pay plenty interest to the Jonas Brothers, yet they do look kinda poopy. Miley Cyrus appears like a self-known finished in the butt who's merely too grown. (Jonas Brothers look too toddler like.) Who do I hate? Courtney Love is gross and ridiculous. needless to say every person hates Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie is disconnected from reality too. woman Gaga sucks!!!! She's so grotesque and untalented. it is it! it is my answer! She had a track approximately dancing and she or he will't even pass. stupid.

Answer 10

Oh gosh... this is a tough one!

I'd go to speak to someone... like an aunt or even a shrink who understands your situation. Get them to talk to your mom. If you can't speak to anyone, speak to her yourself. Tell her how you feel, and tell her it hurts when she says nasty things. Tell her it's not like you're getting married, you're just dating. If it leads to marriage... then you'll need more intervention, but otherwise just ask her to chill. If you're sleeping with him, make sure you are loaded with contraceptives. A pregnancy would NOT be good right now!!

Good luck!!