Would a guy lie about....?

Question

being in love? I mean I've been talking to this guy for a while, and we started talking as friends. It has developed into more. We've been intimate, and he hadn't said I love you before. From the beginning he talked about how he is really into me, and how he wanted me to be his Queen. More and more he says I'm falling in love with you. We've been talking for about 3 mos, and he told my friend today that he loves me (he works with my bestfriend). I don't think I can really trust him because she says he has been with a lot of girls at her job. She says he's a hoe. I told him what I heard, but he says that if he was playing me, I would've noticed by now. I must admit that he has treated me well, and I don't really have a big reason not to trust him, but I don't want to invest too much of my feelings into him if he is just trying to play me. He isn't even my boyfriend, so I'm skeptical about if his feelings are true. What do you guys think?

Also his friend tells me all the time how much he talks about me, and how he is in love with me. So I figure that maybe it is true. And what would be his motive for lying if we were having sex before he said it. Also, I've never expressed these type of emotions to him.

Answer 1

Now is the time to grow up and face reality.

People lie all the time, but does that mean he is lying? No it does not. So what if he has dated a lot of women? I'm sure you have dated your share of men. That's part of life and dating. Does his dating history make him less of a man? No it does not. Does his dating history mean he has to be a "hoe" as your friend put it. Again, no it doesn't.

People start dating when they are actually to immature to understand all the little intricacies of dating and what dating is supposed to signify. Dating is the process of meeting and getting to know someone in order to find out if you suit each other well enough to become more involved and eventually marry. Many people use the term loosely and interpret "dating" as the act of being involved with someone.

You are on the right track. You started out as friends. You became closer, developed what was between the two of you, moved to the next level of "intimacy" and have now been together for about 3 months. Just because in the past few months he has not said "I love you" is not a bad sign. I would worry more if he had said those words so quickly.

The fact that the man talks about how much he likes/loves you to his friends all the time is positive. This is not the action of a "player". The fact that he has not given you any reason to distrust him should stand on its own. Trust is not freely given, it must be earned. Don't make problems just because there are none.

Your friend needs to back off. She may not agree with the fact that he has been with several women at work, but that is a two way street....those women were with him too so does she not like them? A friend would voice her concern but support you in whatever you choose to do in order to find happiness as long as it was not harmful to you.

Have a heart to heart with your girlfriend. Tell her that you lover her because she worries about you but that you are going to explore this relationship more and would like her to be supportive of you in this. Remember that your friend is not in the relationship with you and your guy. She is a bystander who may not see everything you see. It could also be that maybe she is a little jealous because she was interested in him and he wasn't interested in her.

In regards to your "guy friend", let's face reality here. You have been seeing each other for about three months, and I presume you have not been seeing anyone else during this time, and this implies that you are dating. Your becoming intimate also implies that you are in a relationship with him. Just because you haven't called him your boyfriend does not mean he isn't.

Have a heart to heart with you guy. Tell him that you are confused about where your relationship stands and where it is going. Tell him you are skeptical about his feelings and whether they are true or not. Be honest and open with him. Face the fact that you have already invested a lot in this relationship. Your asking for advice is proof of this. Take him at his word adn don't assume that he is being dishonest or lying in order to get more from you. You wouldn't want him to treat you that way if the shoe were on the other foot.

Remember that Trust is the cornerstone of a healthy, deeply satisfying relationship. In a trusting relationship, partners are, quite simply, honest with each other. Their words and actions are not shadowed by deceit; they don't sacrifice a partner's needs for their own, or pursue their own goals at the expense of the mate's. Most important, they make a total commitment to each other, a commitment that helps each feel emotionally nourished, comforted, and supported. In fact, over the lifetime of a relationship, couples consistently report that trust is the single most important marker of lasting happiness. Below is a link to a site that has a Trust Check Up. I encourage you to check it out and take it with each other. Once you are done, follow through with talking to each other about it and with any other suggestions that are listed under the Trust Check up.

I hope you find the peace that you are looking for. I also hope that you give this guy a chance because from what little you have said about him he sounds like a great guy and it sounds like you believe he is too.

Answer 2

Hey, stop jumping into bed with guys with so little emotional investment!
You've been screwing this guy for about 3 months and now you wonder if he loves you. He may be a 'hoe' but that just means he has a really really smooth line he hands girls and they fall for it. Could be you are one of those girls that falls for it!
You've been screwing him and now you consider investing feelings in him? What's not 'hoe' about that? I dont' care how smooth the guy is, or how hot - what is it you want from a relationship anyway? Just someone who says I Love You? You can get talking dollbabies that do that when you push a button.
Then you say, He isn't even my boyfriend. You're still screwing him, he's not your boyfriend, you don't want to invest feelings in him. Are you and have you ever been using your body just to get guys a little interested in you? No wonder you are in the dark about whether he really loves you. You never require that feeling for the things you do with a guy. It sounds like recreational sex. So why does it even matter what he thinks?
You're skeptical about if his feelings are true. I'm skeptical about whether you know what your own feelings about him really are.

Answer 3

Yes a guy would lie about being in love. A guy will lie about anything. Even more so a player.

So this guy 'loves' you, but is not your BF and just has sex with you. Well, bet he loves having sex with you.