How do you try and tell your sister her boyfriend is not the one for her when shes so madly in love?

Question

He talks to her like **** basically and theyre forever arguing, we've met about 4-5 times and all ive got out of him is' alright' and 'see ya' The other night we went out clubbing (me and my sister) and he was on the phone ' you better not b in hotpants' its up 2 her what she wants to wear, i certainly wouldnt let a man tell me what to wear. but she doesnt see things from my point of view, i dont want to see her getting hurt, she was in a relationship b4 with someone just the same and he turned out abusive and i also hated him from the start, so she stopped dating for a few years now shes met her new fella she thinks the sun shines out his **** and wants the full works with him, she wants kids and marriage and stuff, how can i make her see sense??

Answer 1

You can't, society took away your power a long, long time ago. You have to realize that people are forced to live there own lives now. You can sit there and tell her till your face gets red that this isn't the man for her, but all your really doing is putting her right back were she start'd. Finding someone to love her, take care of her, to give her a family and give her some kids. Its not an easy game to play by yourself, and sense your busy living your own life, you really no help. Yea you can come in critize her love of life, but don't expect it to mean a darn thing. Your not in her life, your just apart of it. He offers something you don't, which is a future for her, you on the other hand just give her direction when she f's up. No offense people do this all the time, but the fact is unless were there for are people everyday, guys like this have all the power, because they are in their lives everyday. I know your her sister, but do you put food on her table? Do you make love to her? Do you make her feel like she isn't just your sister? Do you give her hope for a future with you in it, other then a phone call away? You have to understand he can be a world class jerk and its going to seem better then the life you can give her... namly one were she is still searching for someone to love her. Yea there is a way around this, namly you being your sister's best friend as oppose to her sister. Yea it sounds like you do a lot for her, but this situation shows me, that you don't do enough.... that female doesn't love herself as much as she should, and I get the feeling thats because you expect her to be loving herself already, but she isn't going to see what you see. Besides it hurts out her, espacially by yourself, and espacially when all your sister does is critizie you when you've done wrong, neglect'd you when you do good. Has to be that way or else she wouldn't feel that she deserve this jerk, but it would seem she is use to getting slap'd instead of hug'd. These could be assumptions, but in the end, its love from the people that care about us, that keeps us from doing stupid stuff like this. Just remeber love isn't just say I LOVE YOU, its action, its passion, its compassion. And this girl is suffering from a lack of compassion, accept that its hard in our society, accept that its hard to make it on your own, accept darnit it sucks not to have your sister in your life everyday as a strong person, giving you strength, advice, and wisdom. If your not doing your best, things like this are going to happen. If I'm good for anything its because the people around me, show'd me so... so show her she doesn't deserve this, or don't be suprise when she does everything she can to prove it to herself, even if that means fing herself...