I had a new guy I met in December. First he was completely into me, calling and texting often. We got along well, finally in the beginning of March I agreed to go out with him 'officially'. A week or two later, it was like a lightswitch. Instead of him being extremely engaged and intestered, he became distant. It started a few days before he had to go out of state for 5 days for a funeral, (and this distant thing started a little before he found out a distant uncle had passed). I sent him one message while he was gone and didn't hear back - I chalked it up to being with family. I haven't seen him since he came back, we've texted a few times - and all I've heard for the last two weeks is that he's really stressed and has a lot on his mind. I message him about once every 2-3 days, I'm doing my best not not be 'overbearing' but I also don't want to act completely disinterested. I'm at the breaking point now, I didn't hear back when I asked if he wanted to get together.
2007-04-10 03:37:55 · 12 answers · asked by country_girl_in_a_city 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
-continued- Anyways, that was two days ago. I tried calling him yesterday and today, including a text. Ideally I just want to talk to him, and find out "Are we still together, or is it time for me to move on?" If I don't hear back from him, how long should I wait before starting to search again? 3 weeks without seeing someone you're supposed to be dating is too much - especially in a few month relationship. Thanks for the input! (And yes, I will try to be an adult and talk to him - he's 22 and Im' 25). Just in case I never hear back....
2007-04-10 03:39:57 · update #1
Perhaps with all that is going on with him, he's re-evaluating his life....I would stop texting him, I would stop trying to contact him. He obviously doesn't have "time" for you...and perhaps he's moved on and doesn't have the guts to talk to you about it. You're right..it's only been a few months with him "officially" then he left for a funeral......I would suggest you move on*....You can either just move on...and IF he ever finds the time to text you..you can let him know...OH thought you had moved on so i did also* You can explain you've tried and tried and get nothing from him...no response...what were you to assume??.......Or....email him and say thanks for the time we spent together...you're moving on with your life and just wanted to let him know you hope he has a good life~ Closure. Best Wishes*~
2007-04-10 03:45:08 · answer #1 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I'm afraid you answered your own question, with the distance he has to you it looks from this point that it is over or really close to being. If he was really interested he would make it a priority to text you or call. Don't worry hon I just went through the same exact thing, but I called it off before he could, even though he was obviously wanting it that way.
2007-04-10 03:43:24 · answer #2 · answered by TootsieGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i think its over.. Move on baby.. As u say.. u have gone out once.. and after that he is no more interested.... leave out stressed out and stuff that u heard.. if he wanted u he would find time for you.. well its not the case... may be u should take a break.... Move on if he wants let him respond...
Move on..
All the best
2007-04-10 03:45:13 · answer #3 · answered by Mickey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok well all I know is that when a family member dies (even a distant one) its a big deal. It makes you reliaze a lot of new things when my Aunt dies (pratically my 2nd mother) I started to push myself away from people too. He's probobly really confused, I'd give him some space but let him know your here for him.
2007-04-10 03:43:44 · answer #4 · answered by steph 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that strongly - text him outright asking if it's over. Tell him that you're there fo him if he needs you - but that it seems that at this time he has too much on his plate to fit you in. - And that you deserve better.
If he doesn't get it - then honey - YOU DO DESERVE BETTER!
Or this can wake him up and get a conversation going as to what's really going on.
2007-04-10 03:43:42 · answer #5 · answered by crisagi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you don't hear back it's time to move on. Only so many times can I hear "I was at a friends", or "it was to late to call you back". You know, one of those lame answers everyone says they wouldn't give to you but then they do eventually.
2007-04-10 03:43:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on and stop wasting your time. Your are giving him to much of yourself and not thinking of yourself first. He is not interested or he would be more available. You must decide when enough is enough. Surely you feel you deserve and desire more. So go and get it. Good luck and God bless****
2007-04-10 03:43:28 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 things.. Maybe he is stressed or maybe he just does not want to be together right now. You did say it took you 3 months to actually make it offical... which is not your fault you just were being cautious.
2007-04-10 03:42:17 · answer #8 · answered by Lovable 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should just wait until he get's through this difficult time, and an answer to ur question when is it ok to consider it over? I would say when he doesn't look hot anymore.
2007-04-10 03:42:14 · answer #9 · answered by Ashlee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok honey take his hints. He is telling you your answer by not answering you. If this guy thinks it's ok to ignore you then he isn't a very good boyfriend. Let him go and find yourself a guy who is totally into you too!!! good luck
2007-04-10 03:44:08 · answer #10 · answered by anette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋