smacking your child in public?

Question

i took my son shopping today for some new chlothes.he is 7 years old and would not stand still.
he kept running off then when he finally came back he decided to pull faces at me.i told him off three times and made him sit on the chair
my son did but then got up and started pulling the chlothes off of the racks i told him off again,and he just told me to shut up.some women told me i should not have kids.i just ignored her,then my son threw all the chlothes on the floor.i took his hand and smacked it not hard but he cried.the next thing i know the police are there.and im being accused of child abuse.some women reported me .do you think its ok to smack a child on the hand?

Answer 1

I'd go a step further and do a true spanking (on the rear). However not in public. For the very reason you just described, there are to many people who "think they know the law" and will report you. Spanking is very legal, just try and avoid the hassle and do it behind closed doors.

Answer 2

Wow, times have changed! I was raised in the " Spare the rod and spoil the child " age. My mom and Dad had four of us and they adored us--we were all adopted-----but they laid down the law for us so we knew what we could and couldn't do and if we crossed the line, we got a spanking on the bottom---never the face or any other place. Just the butt. It didn't really hurt, it was mostly embarrassing if others were around. If we lied or spoke back to my parents, well that was the worst because those were considered "cardinal sins." We had what they called in the south, a switch. A switch was a thin branch off of a bush. I know this sounds extreme to some people but I tell you what, once we got a switching, we learned not to do that again. Now I guess both of my parents, who have both passed away and I miss greatly, would be sitting in prison for child abuse.
There is such a difference in a smack on the butt and burning your child with cigarettes. I am not trying to tell you what to do, but I probably would have grabbed him by his hand and took his little behind out to the car and said that if he tried that crap again, he was going home.
My sister used to buy her little girl a toy to keep her from having a meltdown whenever they went to the store. If she didn't get a toy or candy or whatever, she would have a tantrum. I could have smacked my sister for doing that and now her daughter is a spoiled brat who dropped out of school at 16yrs and so far at 22yrs, she's had 2 husbands and a child who's father is anybody's guess.
I don't think you did anything wrong except like I said earlier, I would have removed him from the store to the car for a "discussion." Some things in these times have gone too far to be PC and when real abuse is going on, where are those people who love getting involved?

Answer 3

Hum interesting a hot topic. I teach childcare to Nursery Nurses and Classroom assistants. The 'by the book' answer is that any form of physical punishment is wrong.
A child can learn right from wrong using many techniques. Inflicting any level of pain doesn't need to be one of these.
I know that is easy to say and people will come out with phrases such as "didn't do me any harm" and "its only a tap" but how can this be policed?
What to you may be a 'tap' might be a 'wallop' by someone else.
Often smacking a child is more a sign of your frustration (which I add is very understandable) than a good technique of discipline.
I personally do not believe in hitting a child. I have looked after many many children for many years and now teach and have never ever needed to use physical punishment. Withdrawal of prividges and talking through the issues works much better in the long run

Answer 4

I agree our rights as parents are being taken away from us and yet we are then held responsible for what our children do by the police the courts the media and members of the general public. Children are also good at manipulating us if they work out that we have fears or a weakness eg the law or social services - they will say "I want to do this" and if you don t let me - I will phone child line or social services.

Answer 5

I am the mother of 3,all grown up now and let me tell you if they had played me up in this way i would have smacked them.Not in temper,no child should be smacked in temper.If you were to leave it till you get home more than likely they would have forgotten.As a parent though your not going to win no matter what you do,if you allowed him to run riot you would have been wrong,you did the right thing and you did wrong.Growing up in the 50s if we were naughty we wouldn't have just been smacked on the hand.The local police man if he caught you would give you a clip round the ears.

Our rights as parents are being taken away from us by the very ones who complain about how out of control the younger generation are today.My kids now all thank me for the rules i laid down,they see the kids of today abuse there parents as young as 3,done in the right way discipline begins at home.Teach them right from wrong at home and they will take this out into life outside with them.

Answer 6

as someone that fosters abused children(i am not calling you an abusive parent)i cannot ever say that smacking however gently is ok.if you saw what it does to a child you wouldnt either.
ok imagine you are having a bad day,or your hungry or tired or just plain fed up,and someone 16 feet tall comes along and tells you no and then hits you...not a nice feeling is it.to your child you are the protector,the one who loves them the one who keeps them safe.its very confusing to a child however old to have this god like person hurt them.
now im not saying that you meant to hurt him just to control him,but to force control on a child by hurting them is not a good idea it just makes things worse.the best method is when a child creates when out in public is to ignore and bugger what anyone else thinks let ppl look let ppl talk,its not as if they have any impact on your life.better still do as i once did to a lady who told me i didnt know how to control my kids...i calmly took them over to her(this was in argos)and said here you go then love,crack on and i left the shop.
she followed me and apologized said she didnt mean any harm lol.i have a 9 year old with adhd a seven year old with autism and a healthy five year old all mine by birth,then i have a 3 year old with aspergers and a 6 week old baby.bloody hard work i can tell you...but i have never had to smack them.you just find an alternative.
with regards to the police being called,by law no-one is allowed to smack their child and leave a mark,be it a red mark a welt or a bruise,most police will turn a blind eye,but if a complaint is made they have to and rightly so investigate it.
try time out removing favourite toys,with-holding pocket money etc...but not ever smacking.please.

Answer 7

hello .
reported as being a child abuser.
talked to by the police .
God knows you and your heart and your children are yours.
you have to be true to you. you have to raise that little one.
if you are out of line, look at it, recover and move forward. be a good parent ..try to not get child protective services involved , do better. go to a different store for sure and dont take your kids to that sort of place because there hyper.that is your kid,why the kid wasnt listen to you ,i dont know really.
if if you are being to hard stop and you dont have to tell me or think you have to explain. the important thing is that you be good to ok. im leaving my email for you to talk to if ya need to

Answer 8

I believe the law states that you can only hit your child with an open hand on the bottom. And no matter what, you are never allowed to leave a mark on your child. I was trained for my job by Child Protective Services.

Answer 9

Well I am a mother of two and if I need to discipline my son in public I try to be very calm and collective and then when it gets out of hand I normally take him to the restroom or the car and enforce that I am serious and I am the parent. Do not be ashamed to discipline your child but you do have to be careful of people around you because some people do not agree with other types of discipline but then again he is your child and you have every right to raise him up to be a polite and well mannered young man and in order to do that sometimes you have to be hard. But there is a place for that at home. So next time just tell him "Wait until we get home!" And don't forget stay strong because you do not want him to run over you and beat on you when he gets older.

Answer 10

I do sympathise with you Gary. Children need limits in order to guide them in the way to be a good citizen, not the anti-social brats that we are fostering all to often.

However I do think that the current social services attitude is very intimidating to all of us parents. It is so easy to cower to the whims of so-called experts whereas in reality the best way to teach kids proper values is to adopt "zero-tolerance" at a very early age.

As long as any smacks are appropriate then no one should have the audacity to criticise the parent. After all, you are ultimately responsible for nurturing a responsible human being.

You would be doing your child a great injustice not to set and enforce reasonable limits (physically if necessary). I am sure that the tantrum that your child expressed would have been very annoying to fellow shoppers who were possibly wishing that THEY were empowered to give the lad a clip-round-the ear

Gary; please go by your parental instincts. From your question you are obviously a balanced and caring parent.

Instinctive parenting knocks the spots of any psychobabble that you or anyone is likely to be exposed to.

Most of all stand tall and be proud to be a good parent. The world needs more of us

P.S. - I suspect that the stupid woman who reported you either has no kids, or will evetually get the 5hit beaten out of her by one of her out-of-control brats

................Good Luck mate

Answer 11

i'm curious: why is it ok for her to swear at abode, in case you detect it embarrassing in public? for sure, you understand a infant's use of undesirable language is 'substandard', so why enable her do it everywhere? this is variety of a cheesy habit, and one that isn't in any respect benefit her in any way. that's fairly helpful to think approximately banning swearing completely, and thereby dodge this actual undertaking thoroughly sooner or later. As for 'smacking'.. collectively as i in my opinion do not proportion the classic view that 'no corporal punishment is positive' whilst it includes parenting, I do think of that regardless of strategies-set you're taking whilst disciplining your infant desires to think regarding the sentiments of all in contact. On one hand, I agree that this is significant to handle naughtiness in the 2nd, and ensure your infant is conscious that being in public does not tie your hands and supply her a unfastened bypass to act notwithstanding she likes. on the different hand, no person likes gazing somebody else slap, spank or in any different case bodily punish a infant, regardless of if the youngster merits it and that they don't look to be in my opinion against corporal punishment. this is like gazing a pair argue in public: you experience you're witnessing something inner maximum, and this is awkward. via reacting that way in public, you're making everybody around you uncomfortable. the main suitable strategies-set may well be to sit down down her down and clarify to her what you assume from her and why. Then, if she swears in public, you are able to end what you're doing, ask the shop to hold your cart, and haul her out to the motor vehicle for regardless of result you experience is proper.