to move out in Minnesota? My son has moved out and I don't know if I can really do anything. He will be 18 soon, but should that matter? He moved out 'cuz of a girl. We suspect she's pregnat, She just turned 16 and her parents have supported this relationship. They've allowed him to spend numerous weekends at their home and to stay there for 2 weeks. I'm at a lose and just don't understand how the other parents are ok with this.
2007-04-10 02:33:21 · 13 answers · asked by DeadHelen 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I want him to be happy. The girl is a cutter getting no professional help. Her parents think if my son is around she won't hurt herself. I am here for him and he knows I love him. I know I have to let him go, but does that mean I have to do it without worry? No, I did not allow the other parents to control this. I tried talking to the other parents but they think this is ok. No, I don't want to force him home. That solves nothing, but I don't feel I should give up on him. He threw away college and a good life. He doesn't finish high school for another year. It's a difficult situation. I've gone to the other parents pastor and to my pastor for help.
2007-04-10 02:53:50 · update #1
i don't know about the legalities but, you may have to let him find his own way. it's the toughest thing you'll ever do but it may be the only thing you can do. you could try forcing him home but, seeing as he is very determined about this, it could make things worse. do the girls parents know if she is pregnant?does he live at their home?they sound like idiots. it appears they want your son to care for their daughter b/c they can't. what are they thinking?
you know what? on second thought, go get him. tell the girl's parents off. their daughter is their responsibility. not that of a 17 yr old who can't take care of himself yet. when he turns 18 he can do what he wants but, he can also take the risk of being jailed for being with a minor. if you don't agree with what he's doing, tell him you will in no way support it.
2007-04-10 03:27:29 · answer #1 · answered by racer 51 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The state will not get involved at his age as he is aging out of the system. Police do not go around actively trying to bring older teens home against their will as they will just leave again the police know this. Your son is no longer a child, even if you report him as a runaway it would only prevent others from helping him it would not bring him back and if you could you could not prevent him from leaving again. At his age it is not the time to get in a battle of wills with your son, time is on his side not yours and in the end you may alienate and loose him forever. I think it's time to step back and let him make his choices and live with the consequences. He'll allow you to have more influence and listen to you more if you support him, you can give your opinion but it is up to him to make his own decisions. I found out when my 171/2 yr old left home in WI that Police etc. do not interfere with young adults desire to leave home. They will only pick them up if like anyone else they committ an actual crime. More than likely they may try to contact the individual to have them contact you to let you know they are OK. For the most part at 17 and especially 17 1/2 young adults are free to move out in the US. The police and courts are to busy to even handle the millions of younger run aways much less those a few weeks/months from their 18th birthday. They know they can not force them to stay at home against their will.
I might want to add this young woman could very well become your daughter in law and/or mother of your grandchild. I think the more you help and support this relationship as the young womans parents are wisely doing all will turn out for the better. Your entire furture with your son and his new fanily, yes he and this young woman if with a child are a family. You can choose to be a part of it or left out, it looks as though her parents chose to be a part of it.
2007-04-10 03:23:57 · answer #2 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in the uk its legal to move out at 16. America i know its different. Your morals should be the same tho. If yous son wants to move out let him. If you hold onto him he will hate you for it wheras if you let him go he will come back, maybe not to live but he will come back. If he has got a girl pregnant then stand by him for being a man and standing by his responsibility, you have two options you can turn your back and loose a son and a grandchild (your flesh and blood) or you can bite you lip and get in touch with your son, offer to meet this g/f and be nice to her, its him who has to live with ehr remember, and if you seem to be appearing to behappy for them then you too will be involved in both your sons and your new grandchild's life.
Support your son and then in the longrun you will be happy you did when that grandchild is running round your back yard shouting "nanny nanny look at me".
If the relationship doesnt work out dont do the "i told you so" cos what your son needs is your support, if it doesnt work welcome him into your arms and he will be much more willing next time to confide in you.
Its your choice tho people can only advise you but i know if it were my children no matter what they brought back i would bite my toungue and accept it, once boyfriends and girlfriends come onto the scene im afraid parents have to take a back seat and let our children make their own mistakes, its either that or go in there yelling and risk loosing them forever
2007-04-10 02:49:09 · answer #3 · answered by Angie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you don't want him to leave and you are considering him a runaway then its illegal for the girl's parents to house a run away minor in their home. But thats only if you are considering him runaway. Its up to your state on how they handle runaway cases and its up to Minnesota on what they do with parents who houses runaway minors. The longer you wait to say anything the worse. When he turns 18 and if you do decide to run to the police, they can still do something about him since he is a minor at the time, but it wouldn't matter because once he turns 18, its up to him if he wants to come back home or not. But in the meantime enjoy the freedom/peace and quiet. You deserve it after 17 years. :-)
2007-04-10 02:42:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
So let me get this strait. Your looking for a legal reason to keep your son from doing what he wants to do. You want the law to force him to come back and live with you because you don't like what he is doing. It may not be the smartest decision that he will ever make, but he is almost 18, so by then he will be legally an adult. And your going to have to get used to the fact he is going to do what he wants. have you thought about talking to him instead of trying to get the law involved and making him do what you want?
2007-04-10 02:41:57 · answer #5 · answered by Taylor H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you REALLY want him ordered back to your home by the courts?
The police won't do anything if you try that route...your son is not missing, nor exploited.
All you can do is to be there for your son if this relationship doesn't work out (which will probably be the case). If you alienate him now, he will be more unwilling to turn to you if there are future problems.
2007-04-10 02:43:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to support your son, his partner and there relationship.
I had a terrible time with my boyfriends parents, they treated me like crap even though I had done nothing wrong. All they did was try to split us up.
Now... he NEVER speaks to any of his family. I do honestly feel for them (even after what they did to us) but they bought it all on themselves.
Unless you want the same to happen to you, accept his partner and stop judging her.
It is his choice who he goes out with, not yours!
He's not mummy's little boy anymore so you need to let him move on.
2007-04-10 03:39:14 · answer #7 · answered by LauraMarie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is tough......but as long he is safe and happy where he is, isn't that ok? You could probably get the authorities involved and drag his butt back home where he will be miserable and leave when he is 18 anyway. I say let him be and support him in what he is doing.
2007-04-10 02:42:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it is a little too late to start parenting him now.
2007-04-10 02:51:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Here are some sites u can check out. www.leg.state.mn.us/leg/statutes.asp www.FindLaw.com .......www.lawlibrary.state.mn.us/ - 8k My advise is u can call your police station and ask them if they can bring him back.Most likely they can until he is 18 but u will only alienate him more from u.Good luck hon
2007-04-10 02:49:58 · answer #10 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋