Should I stay or go? I am so tired of not being appreciated?

Question

My siginificant other works all day, then goes to school every night, while I work and take care of his child. I am a great mom, to his kid and mine, I also work too. I am just so mad that I do all household stuff, he has no responsibility except to himself, and the only thing he says when he comes home last night is to complain about how my son wasted half a can of diet soda by not drinking it all. No kind words, nothing nice, just come home complaining after I took wonderful care of 3 boys all day. All I wanted was to be held or kissed or to talk about our days, but I got nothing. I pay my fair share of expenses too, and do everything at the house.

Answer 1

have you told him that you need to be held? i know that you should not have to. but maybe he had a hard day to and working and going to school is a lot on him and you too. but maybe you need to talk to him and tell him that you need to talk about your day. and be appreciated too for keeping up all the Kidd's and the house we all know that a BIG JOB so just talk to him and see how it go's good luck

Answer 2

Firstly I think you seriously need to sit and talk to your significant other. It sounds like your depressed so a visit to your doctor may be in order too. As for the children leaving things like the fizzy drink - well that does happen and maybe you could buy bottles and just give him half a glass, I know waste is wicked particularly when money is tight. So have a chat with your other half and try to come to some sort of agreement, and if that fails try a trial seperation maybe.

Answer 3

This happens with every relationship! people take advance of th ones closest to them and that is what he is dioing with you. If men don't NEED to make an effort, they won't. So you should make him work for it a little, withdraw your attention, start dressing up in nice sexy clothes and create your own activities, make him prove to you how much he loves you, make him work, every man likes a challenge.

We all feel unappreciated sometimes, its all about push and pull and keeping the spark alive, do tehr ight thing and look after your boys, you are doing a great job but don't be walked over x

Answer 4

...Hey TC?...I know exactly how you feel at this very moment...and I'm certain that there are many women and men that can relate to your incident here possibly. In this working world today?...time sometimes gets shuffled inappropriately with some individuals occasionally. I say ask from him your desires babe...tell him what you want to see happen so to speak. Be direct and calm and respectfull of yourself and him while your asking hun. Only then will his eyes be opened to the possibilities of what you desire to see occur here hun. He's off in his own imagination here darling. Bring him into the present situation of his own responsibilities within this unstable relationship otherwise. Equal time for equal pay sweety. If he doesn't wanna carry his part of the bargain here hun?....tell him you'll be leaving with your children soon...and seeking out the man in your life that kinda sees things the way that you do darling. He might be a busy guy hun...but he absolutely needs to make time for YOU and himself and all these children that are presently with you both too. If he doesn't like it honey...he can go hit the dusty road of single minded behavior by himself and his own kids righteously! He's being a jerk to you right now seriously....and that crap needs to be stopped immediately if not sooner. You have a right to be unsatisfied here darling...you also have a right to some satisfaction here too. He's a part of this little family here hun. It's high time he takes some of his own responsibility within it seriously. There's always the "packed baggage" and "here's the door darling." He'll see better once you bring him out of the forrest of self centeredness reasonably. Enlighten him gently and verbally darling. He's not focused right now on what's important for everyone here that's concerned. Wake his *** up darling. I know that you're capable of that...so get busy if you want this relationship to last...cause it ain't looking too rosey here from our point of view. Good luck babe...and smack him with some "commen sense variety knowledge" hun. He needs to hear it for himself from himself and you too!

Answer 5

AMEN SISTA!!!!!!!!!! If you take care of HIS child he needs to give you some thanks. Nothing says that you have to look after HIS kid. He should definitely thank you for caring care of his kid so he can take care of his business. Let him know you feel unappreciated and would like to be able to at least spend a little time with him when he comes home at night. Even if it is just cuddling or sleeping close.
I know how you feel. I just got in an arguement w/my kids dad who I THOUGHT wanted to be w/me, and it pretty much ended. I never felt appreciated either, but it ended cuz of more than that.
Hopefully you can work it out. Best of Luck to you!

Answer 6

My husband used to work nights, and I did everything at home - the root of my problem was that I MISSED him a lot and it stressed me out terribly. Your husband is very stressed, too, or he wouldn't be picking at little things like soda cans. He needs all the support you can give him. Try being extra nice to him instead of expecting him to be the nice one. Sounds provincial, but it might work for you.

Answer 7

You should talk about this to him and tell him what you do everyday maybe whenever he doesn't work or when he has free time you should leave and pamper yourself and let him take care of the boys give him a taste of what its like and what you do when he isn't home maybe he doesn't compliment you because he doesn't know what its like to do the full time job of being a parent

Answer 8

Before any drastic action, you need to sit down with your husband and have a serious talk, explaining to him exactly as you have here, the issues that are troubling you.
If he refuses, or just doesn't listen, then that's your cue to seeking an alternitive life. You only live once. Why do it in misery?

Answer 9

i think that you should at least sit down and try to talk to him because it sounds like you have been together for a while but if that doesn't work, u need to be loved and kissed and need to feel wanted,at least take a break and make him miss you or realise what he lost. just try to help it now before it gets to deep and then u cant change it

Answer 10

ya that's not fair. I think you should fight back by not cleaning the house, don't cook his meals, don't do his laundry..see how he likes it. The work load should be equal. I bet once you stop doing those things that he expects you to do he will start to realize that he has to pull his own wait because your not going to do it for him. Once he starts to do it himself, realize how hard it is , he will appreciate you more. But of course take care of your kids that's a definite must. (: