I have a 13 year old daughter going on 25?

Question

She wants to act grown, do grown up things but she is still a child. Has anyone gone through this?

Answer 1

My step-daughter is 12 and is starting to go through that stage a little bit. I think if she wants to act grown-up she should be treated more like a grown-up. I do not do her laundry anymore and she is expected to do more around the house and help with the horses. If there is something she wants, she can save her money and buy it herself.

Maybe a little taste of what it really means to be a grown-up will help her realize she's not ready for all of that quite yet.

It is a normal phase, but a child should not decide certain things and as her parent, it is up to you to draw the lines. Allow her to make more decisions on her own (within reason for her actual age) and then suffer the consequences if that's where it takes her.

Answer 2

If she's 13 acting 25 then that's better than 13 acting 18! Hopefully, she's skipped out the reckless teenage bit. I wouldn't too much worry about it. I think a lot of girls go through this, I know I did. I also have 2 daughters myself, one 17 and one 6. The 17 year old wasn't desperate to grow up, but the 6 year old is. She's even asked me if when she has her babies will I be around to babysit so she can go out! I think she's six going on 25! What upsets us a Mum's, and particularly as I matured early for my age, is that we often fondly remember childhood as our best (stress-free) times and we want them to enjoy being a child. We can only tell them that, but they will always feel as they do as they are at that age - particularly your daughter who is too young to be an adult but getting too old to be a little kid. That's why you still probably see her as a child, as there are still aspects of her that seem child-like. It's just the developmental stage she's at. Good luck with yours and I'll work on my 6 year old!

Answer 3

That was me at 13

Make sure you are always there for her. Keep a watchful eye on her all the times without her knowing.
She will soon develop an attitude like she knows all the answers to everything in the world and that she is smarter than "the grown ups". Hopefully this will only last until she is 17.
Give her some freedom but not too much. Make sure you enforce rules and don't make them up as you go. Have set rules for her, curfew, allowance, etc...

Answer 4

Even though my kids are only 5 and 2, I did go thru this and still going thru it with my wife's sisters. One is now 19 the other also 14 going on 25. My advise is to talk to her in a little more mature manner, discuss more "grown up" things with her, but continue being a mom. This way she will feel like she can talk to you in an adult manner but also remember that you are the parent.

Answer 5

Get in her face. Embrace her. Give her confidence. Explain how life is a process. Give her limits and enforce them. Ensure that she has responsibilites and reward her with positive, uplifting encouragement. You KNOW she is a child. She is just anxious to get past being a child and to hurry up with life. Again, be there - don't shy away because she says thats what she wants. Expose her to more "grown up" stuff like cultural events: political fundraisers, theatre, etc. Have her start a journal or start a hobby like painting or drawing to help express her teenage angst. The teen years are a process in building a successful life - don't let her overlook it - just give it the time it needs. Good luck!

Answer 6

of course everyone goes through this. She is a teenager and she is trying to carve out her own identity and find her independence from her parents. Let her have a little more freedom (not to much, mind you) and give her some space and privacy. If she becomes very hard to handle or you suspect she is being self-desctructive then take her to a doctor or family counseler. Other than that just leave her alone and let her deal with growing up. However, make sure that you are supportive and all that jazz.

Answer 7

Only everyone. She's just a new teenager, she thinks the world will never harm her but she's going to realize someday that the world won't always be her friend. This is a phase usually people grow out of but I wouldn't count on that right now. You just have to compromise with her. Just because she wants to do something doesn't mean you have to let her or agree with it. But really try to listen because that's what she's going to need in the years to come.

Answer 8

i have an 18 yr old who swears he's 40. i guess it depends on your daughter's definition of grown up. if it's dressing sleezy, like many older kids are doing, and acting like they do, which is deplorable much of the time, then stand your ground. don't let her grow up to soon. we all want to hurry up and be older, to a point. but don't let it get out of hand.

Answer 9

My daughter is 12years old. She wants to act like teenage..and do lots of grown up things.She make promises with friends on Saturday to watch movie,go out for lunch,play with her cell phone a lot.Sending short messages to friends,invites her friends home,etc.
But I do give her a lot of accompany too.We talk about evrything evryday,and it becomes habits.She tells me about evrything,try to be honest,and we discuss about my problems and her problems.I also try to be her mom and in the same time to be her friend.

Answer 10

I totally went through that phase. I always wished I was older--I wanted older friends, wanted to move out too young and be on my own, wanted to do so much that was too old for me. Then, as I grew older, I felt more comfortable with who I was, even though I am still discovering who I am now. Now, I wish I was younger!