I broke up with my ex 5 months ago,it was the hardest thing I ever had 2 do, we had been 2gether 9years!the last few years we're horrible,he wasn't working,doing drugs/drinkin,lost his licence etc,I tried to make things work..but finally gave up. We were both heartbroken,i have been out on dates and more..he hasn't moved on atall!! I still love him & I'm not over him either, I made the mistake of meeting up with him as we wanna stay friends but now its upset him again,he calls me crying, txt me everyday, I'm trying not to respond but its so hard, he has now applied for the Army..I know its because I won't go back 2 him.
I am seeing a really nice guy now,but I don't know if I should just stay single as I feel so guilty about my Ex.
Am I being a *****, do I meet up with him or is it best in the long run to just not answer calls etc. I do love him & wld of loved 2 give it another go in the past, he has changed so much but u should never go back right?
Sorry so long & boring!x
2007-04-10 00:15:02 · 21 answers · asked by money bank 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
look hun - hes not the one for you - of course you're still gona love him as ye were together a long time - but if he WAS the one - you would never have broken up!
Maybe him joining the army is for the best - he will be kept busy there training etc - and hopefully will realise you two were not meant for each other and move on - and with him out of the way - you can concentrate on your new guy - you cant live your life to suit your ex.
He sounds like a bit of a looser to be honest with what you described him as doing - and I honestly think you are better off without him - hes practically emotionally blackmailing you - which isnt fair. - Let him join the army - I honestly think it would be the best for ye both.
xx
2007-04-10 00:19:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take it from someone whose used the very same trick once before, your ex is trying to force the guilt trip on you and no matter what you have to stay away because if you think the break-up was bad then you don't wanna know how bad getting back together gonna feel. On second thought it's better if you know 1st he will seem completely changed for about a week maybe even less than that 2nd after he reverts to his old ways he'll start doing things that he has never done before slightly mean things. The reason why he's doing this is so that he can control the "new" ending of the relationship in which you're dumped not him this is espeicially true amogst those that have alot of pride and dispise losing in any way shape and/or form. Now I know that you're probably thinking that this is absurd but bear with me, have you ever noticed that when broken up couples come back together it is usually who was dumped the first time around that winds up doing the dumping.
Lastly when you are looking for answers there is no such thing as long or boring there is however being informative and speaking your point clearly both of which you did just fine in.
2007-04-10 00:52:32 · answer #2 · answered by standalonejoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go back! You'll always be trying to get back a relationship which is long gone. Keep seein' the really nice guy you've met and make a go of that. Don't meet up with the ex again and don't respond to any of his calls or texts, that will just give him false hope of you getting back together again. He has to move his life on by himself or it won't work. If he's off the drink and drugs he'll make it but he's been there once who's to say he wouldn't go there again if you got back together. Look to the future and make a life with your new man. Best of luck, Shug.
2007-04-10 00:27:45 · answer #3 · answered by Shug 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not a law when u say no one should go backwards..its a personal choice and it's not a coward thing to do when you have a good reason to do so. However, the last few years of your 9 years together is described as 'horrible'.. with a few cries for help now from him would let you easily forget the horrible experience?and want to start all over again with him? it makes sense when u say you do love him (still) cuz 9 years is not a relationship you can forget overnight alright but since you are now dating a new guy u said to be a nice one, isn't this a chance for you to find one who treats you right?feelin' guilty of leaving a helpless guy in pursuit of your happiness only mean that you aren't ready to move on. also why would you feel such when you did your best to put up with his 'horrible' behaviour, you rightly deserve to be happy.
now, if you really mean to be out of his life, its best to keep off his grass. keeping in touch will draw you back to him & then you are back to square one. although you mention he has changed which is a good sign to give him another chance but you should give it a lot of thought lest you get back to zero... y'know one can easily be blinded by love and change takes a lot of guts to hold on the road to recovery.
2007-04-10 00:45:48 · answer #4 · answered by jables 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You meet with him because you care about his well being but that is sending him signals that there is a chance you two will get back together. The best way for both of you to move on is not answer his calls, im's emails. cut all communications immediately. You did the right thing by ending things. Maybe by him joining the army he will get help to get over his addictions and make a life for himself. Who knows this may be the push he needs to get his life on track and somewhere down the line if that happens the two of you can give your relationship antoher try but for now cut all ties
2007-04-10 00:22:29 · answer #5 · answered by bbinqueens33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Texting is private and intimate. Texting is the perfect way to create a private and intimate world between you and the man or woman in your life. Learn here https://tr.im/U0qV3
For women in particular, texting can end up being a fun “game” where they can do or say anything (even things they would never do in the “real” world). Texting is non confrontational. Odds are your relationship ended on a heated note. I don’t know why you and your ex broke up, but there was probably at least one (if not a few dozen) big fights. Done properly (the way I’m going to teach you), texting is simple and subtle. You can slowly feed your ex tested and proven messages and ideas without the risk of either one of you flying off the handle, falling back into old and destructive patterns, and throwing plates at each other.
2016-02-10 16:45:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I thought my life was messed up. Sorry, that kind of sounded mean, I guess what you really need to do is just get yourself away from these people because they seem to be stressing you out. Your boyfriend is obviously kind of violent if he hit him with his truck and what his stepdad did shouldn't worry you since now he's in jail. As for your best friend, you should try talking to her and telling her to tell the truth but if she doesn't want to then that's her decision if she wants to go to jail. You should just try to be there for your boyfriend while he's in the hospital and then once he's better try and talk to him and figure out if it's worth staying together when he's causing you just as much stress and pain and stuff as your ex boyfriend; or maybe not, I'm not really sure of the whole situation. But yeah, just talk to someone.
2016-05-21 05:12:30 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing by moving on, and you should not feel guilty about it for one moment. It is possible that you two will reuinte at another time in the future, but right now he has to go do his thing and get his life together. This time apart will be good for him after he gets past this hump, you'll see. He'll be better off in the long run and maybe you'll even want to get back together with him.
2007-04-10 00:20:12 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Lucky♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
c'mon.. this wasnt "long and boring".. you've a serious problem on your hands..
First of all, i think you should decide for urself if you love this guy or not.. are you ready to move on? Get over him completely before dating other people.. this way you wont end up hurting urself or anyone else..
If hes joining the army because of this, you should try and talk to him. This way you wont feel bad or blame urself if and after he leaves.
Dont feel guilty.. hes just having a problem moving on... afterall you were together for nine years! It must be hard for both of you...
I really hope things work out for the better..
love.
2007-04-10 00:24:03 · answer #9 · answered by Honey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have to say that you must get on with your life and he needs to do the same ,you shared 9 years together and its a lot to forget ,which you never will really,but life is passing you by in the meantime,and you could end up with nothing, so go with the flow and get some happinbess back in your life,as for your x ,going into the army might make his life better ,your not being selfish in any way ,i think you deserve some happiness,you will never forget your first love ,but its time to move on,as should he ,good luck. hope it all works out for you .
2007-04-10 00:27:27 · answer #10 · answered by stella v 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋