My sister has lived with her partner for 11 years, they have 3 kids together but she has recently decided to leave him (for various reasons) where do we go next?! she wants to move areas to come near me so i can help out but we dont know where to start, i rang housing assosiates but they said 6mths to 3yrs waiting list. he wont move out and she is scared.
anybody been through this who knows what to do!!! Thanks in advance..x
2007-04-09 22:57:30 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
cracker - where did i say she didnt have a job you idiot. learn to read hey? !
it isnt " poor me crap".. im am simply asking for advise on what to do next - Idiot.
2007-04-09 23:48:42 · update #1
Tell her to contact the local council and ask for emergency housing, it may be temporary until she can get housing. All she has to do is explain the circumstances to a housing officer and they will be able to help her. She should also contact a solicitor or the CAB, for advise.
Tell her Good Luck, it will get better.
2007-04-09 23:10:42 · answer #1 · answered by Mas 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, you need to be glad that you don't have kids. If you did, leaving would be a lot harder. I am of the mindset that happiness is important. If you aren't happy with him, then you should let go. That does not mean that he is bad. It just means that you are not compatable. That is an important point to bring up when/if you decide to break up. I am also against couples counseling. I think that it is a good thing to try if you are married to someone, but if he hasn't been able to make that commitment to you, then there is no point in trying to salvage your relationship. If you are planning on leaving, you need to be prepared for a rough road ahead. You have not been alone in a long time, so even though you are not happy, you are comfortable. That comfort will go away. You will lose some income since you are used to a dual income. You will lose your home. It sounds like neither of you can afford it. If you are able to sell, it doesn't sound like you will get anything out of it, and may still owe. If you bought the house together, it is a 50/50 split, at least in Ohio. It doesn't matter who put what into repairs. So, if you are able to sell it, and money is left owed, you will owe half. If you could afford it, you could buy him out, and maybe get a room mate. If you cannot sell it, then you will lose it to foreclosure, which will affect your credit score. You have to choose what is most important to you. Be sure that you want to leave. Relationships change over time, and often aren't as fun after a few years. I couldn't tell you the last time my husband and I went out. But, I am ok with that. If you aren't than it is a different story. You also may want to consider the possibility that he is depressed. If you love him, and want to make it work, you could explore this. Maybe he just needs some help. Good luck, and know that what ever decision you make has to be the one that is right for you.
2016-05-21 05:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The waiting list thing is a nightmare. I took on a private let which was the wrong thing to do. There are housing officers in your local council that can offer advice and tell her the right way to go about it. she would need to make an appointment with them to get full information as they tend to give the standard blurb in a telephone enquiry. All the Women's Aid places could also give good advice if she is in that kind of situation.They are quite helpful but I found out about that too late. Failing that, a lawyer could give advice as there are ways to allow her to stay in her own home with the kids and husband be made to move out by the courts. She really needs to speak to the right people before the split.
2007-04-09 23:08:29 · answer #3 · answered by STACEY D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ideally husband moves out and leaves her and the 3 kids in situ - once divorce is through and house and proceeds worked out she can use her share to move away and buy new.
May be a long slow process but in the end will achieve the end goal. A solicitor may be your first port of call.
If a council property she will be able to exchange with another in another location later.
2007-04-09 23:30:02 · answer #4 · answered by Jewel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're family she should be able to come and stay with you and since you got internet access she can use that time to get herself situated on a job and begin to look for a place so she can move with her kids. This is why shacking up with someone is not a good idea because there's more drama in breaking up than getting a divorce and she may be in for a long fight if she's going for child support for the kids.
If she's working moving in with family is a practical thing to save money and at least your sister's kids are around people they know and are comfortable instead of being around someone they don't know and who could do something to them.
2007-04-09 23:04:57 · answer #5 · answered by nabdullah2001 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She should see a solicitor/lawyer about it. If both hers and her husbands names are on the house then he can say he won't leave, but then so can she. She has three kids, so if they a splitting up, she would probably do better to try for divorce, she would get at least half of everything, possibly taking the house because she's taking the kids. I say do it now.
2007-04-09 23:02:32 · answer #6 · answered by Notherenow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
her best action is to stay as she is at the moment unless he's abusing her then she takes action otherwise she has a roof over her head and the kiddies in the meantime get somewhere to live near you as you say (why cant you take her in) but don't hold your breath waiting for S/S to come to your rescue and housing your just a name on the list with people jumping over you all the time so i guess your not going to live a brilliant life for a while and the chance of a good guy coming along with you and 3 kids looks bleak for you
2007-04-09 23:11:41 · answer #7 · answered by srracvuee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
HELP HER IN ANYWAY YOU CAN. Even if you have to let her temporarily move in to your house. She's your sister and those are your neices and nephews. Those poor kids are already suffering. She will never forget how you helped her and you will always have a great relationship.
2007-04-09 23:38:21 · answer #8 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she and/or the kids are being abused, there are battered women's shelters in most areas. Check with your local sheriff's dept. Also, there are churches that will help. Make a few calls, and explain the urgency.
2007-04-09 23:03:29 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
to be honest she'll have to wait as she is not seen as homeless in there eyes unless is fleeing violence then she will be put in either a b&b or a hostel untill a house comes up ! good luck x
2007-04-09 23:12:38 · answer #10 · answered by maddie xx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋