If a 14 1/2 year old girl dates a 21 almost 22 year old man, is it wrong or illegal?

Question

I think that if you are 14 and you are mature enough to make your own decisions and dating an older man is one of them, Nobody should stop you. As long as you are not sexually active with the person whats the problem? And if you consensually do so then I dont think its a problem either. Opinions Please.

Answer 1

Whether it is illegal or not is really up to the laws of the locality.

Whether it is wrong or not depends on whether or not a 14 1/2 year old boy could date a 21 year old girl. All things being equal, the boy dating the older woman seems a lot less offensive, probably because we are all a tad sexist. Especially if the 21 year old girl was gorgeous.

I think that 14 year olds are NOT mature enough to date people that age, but that's my own opinion. However, as long as there is no sexual contact, there is no actual law against it.

Answer 2

Yes it is wrong!! If you're not sexually active then it's not illegal but then you couldn't say you're dating could you? - you're just a little girl with an older(and questionable) friend....sorry to be so blunt but this one boils the blood-you are neither physically, mentally or spiritually equipped to even identify the types of suppression you are at risk of. Hell, you havn't even reached a school leavers age and you want to play wifey already? Hopefully this is just about your freedom of choice and you'll snap out of it - do yourself the favour. You are both at different stages of your lives and despite what you think, there are no similarities or likemindedness, if there are it's you trying to be older than you are - what's he about anyway - can't he get any girls his own age? He sounds like a Fathers' dream meet that one!! Be smart girl and swim between the flags - it seems hard to fathom now but 8yrs from now when you're 22, you'll be thankful you didn't. Anyway, at fourteen the only true love you know is that of your family - so it's not like it'll hurt....gotta walk before you can run, life's a long game, what's your rush? He should follow your lead and chase a 30yr old woman(8yrs his senior) and see how he thinks he'll go there - I suspect he'd get used and abused like the little thing he is, which is maybe what he sees you for? Would you date a six year old(8yrs your junior) if it was consensual?

Answer 3

Here in Ca it is illegal for any one under the age of 18 to date a man or girl older then 18 which i find to be a very stupid law in some ways but in others it is good that we do have this law or alot of people would be getting hurt plus alot of other things i wont mention.... I feel that if you are old enough to know what your doing and that the both of you understand the age diffrence between the two people and the parents are OK with this then whats the problem with dating a person older then you if your under age...

Answer 4

If a 21 or 22 year old man wants to date a 14 year old girl, there is one of two things wrong with him.

1. He is a sexual predator of young girls.
or
2. He can't get a woman close to his age to go out with him.

You are under age. He can and should be be put in jail. When you are about 4 years older, you will understand this better. For now, stay safe.

Answer 5

You are still moving between the worlds of child and developing YOUNG adult. Decisions such as these should not be happening and this man is way too old in age and development for you. He can go into Bars and Clubs, you can not.
My concern is, what is this adult males motives for paying attention to someone your age? It is not healthy and you need to keep away from him.
It is too easy at your age to be flattered and to move into areas you are not physically or emotionally able to cope with. If this relationship was to develop it has little chance of surviving and then you would be left feeling terrible and not really understanding what it was that happened.
Do not be flattered because someone of that age has paid attention to you, it is not age appropriate. And yes, it is illegal and morally wrong.
Enjoy your youth as it is here you build your memories for the future and you do not need one that has left you feeling devastated. You should be laughing and giggling with your girlfriends and learning about boys and friendships as it is this that gives you the opportunity to grow and develop into a happy mature adult.
Being with a male this age there is a power imbalance as he is the adult and you are still a 'child'. What I mean by this is that you do not have your adult thinking for making good life style decisions yet. Pshchologically we do not attain this ability until early 20's, we only think we have it, big difference.
If you can not talk to your Mum or another older female then seek the aid of your school counsellor. Be very carefull that you are not looking after yourself the very best you can. You must keep yourself safe and not take on this man's point of view as it could damage you for normal relationships in the future.
Word of caution, not all 'stranger danger' people are old, they come in all ages and prey on young people of all ages. I know I work in this area.
Run away from this unhealthy situation as fast as you can.
Look after you and be safe.

Answer 6

What state are you playing in?
Any guy more than 18 months older than you can go to jail for up to 20 years or more.
A few states allow a 16 year old to be "free an single", but not 14 an a half...

Answer 7

its very long that man has sex on his mind! thats cradle snatching! and yes its wrong and illegal! 14 year olds are not mature enough to make that decision thay think they know everything! but his to old for her this is probably not what she wants to hear, but she must also take in to consideration that this could change and destroy both there lifes and that the man probably couldnt get a girl his age cause they all know what kind of guy he is!!

Answer 8

***********good answer, read carefully*************


Some of the answers above mine are inaccurate. While I think its suspect for a 22 year old to date a 14 year old, as long as he does not go past first base, it is NOT rape in whatsoever manner. I hope he asked her parents permission before dating, or her parents could file a harrastment charge, a misnodemeanor. I personally wouldn't date anyone under 20, they aren't mature enough for me.

Answer 9

To answer your question without moral judgment, and assuming you are not a troll: Depends upon what you mean by "date." It is illegal for anybody to engage in sexual intercourse with a person under 18. Since he is more than 3 years older than you, it would be a felony. (Pen C 261.5.) This is not a registrable sex offense. However, it is illegal for him to engage in any lewd conduct (touching for sexual arousal) with you until you are 14 (since he is not 10 years older than you, otherwise it would be 16). Doing so is a felony and is a registrable sex offense. (Pen C 288(a).)

Answer 10

First of all, it is illegal!!! Very illegal. Not to mention it is WRONG!! A 14 year old girl isn't old enogh to make such a decision as this. AS 14 year old is still a baby. And if this 14 year old is dating a 22 year old MAN, he deserves to be locked up in jail!!! A 22 yr. old man dating a 14 yr. old girl is basically "rape." Why do you think they have the statiatory rape law? If a child as young as 14 was "mature" enough to make a decision such as this, the law would not exsist. I believe this 14 yr. old needs to worry about being a child and quit worrying about whether or not it's wrong to date a 22 yr. old man. If my daughter came home and was in such a situation, I would first make sure she knew how wrong this was then I would make sure this man never even thought about young girls in such a way. Besides, if this guy thinks it's o.k for him todate a 14 yr. old, he obviously isn't mature enough to be maing any type of decisions himself. So tell this "14 yr. old" it is wrong, it is illegal, and she needs to worry about growing up herself instead of trying to allready trying to be grown up. Tell her to worry about school, and peers in her own age group. Also, why isn't the parents of this 14 yr. old trying to do something about this? That is the question everyone needs to worry about......