Did I have sex with him too soon?!?

Question

I met this guy about 2 years ago who used to attend the same university as I, but he transfered to another school in the same city. I always thought he was cute and secretly liked him a little bit. Recently we've been running into each other a lot and a few weeks ago we exchanged phone numbers and have been talking occasionally. Last Saturday, he came over and we had sex. I've talked to him twice since then, but I can't tell if he likes me or if he's just being nice by calling and answering the phone when I call. Now I feel like he won't respect me, even though after it happened we talked and he said he would. Was it too soon? Do you think I've messed up my chances with him?

Answer 1

Talk to him. Tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him that you have liked him for a long time before you dated, and he was so hot that you had to jump him right away because he makes you feel so hot. His EGO will swell so much that no other woman will ever be able to enter his mind.

Answer 2

I don't think you have messed up your chances with him,just your head a little bit.Yeah it was to soon and I only say that because of the emotions that you are feeling at this point,being complete insecure about where you stand with him,because you weren't really an item before you took the plunge....so to speak,anyway he has called you right?And its not just you calling him I take it,so relax,take it easy and next time you see him tell him how you feel,but also don't go over-board on the respect thing because that could be a bit of a turn off.If you want his respect,respect yourself enough to communicate your needs to him,without coming across pushy or overbearing,we all need to set boundaries,with ourselves,our family our friends and our partners,but first you must know where the boundaries lie for you,and only you can decide what those boundaries are and make them clear with yourself and others.

Answer 3

I think you rushed over this time. Exchanging phone numbers a few weeks ago and go to bed soon after that? What was on your mind? If you wanna be sure he's not just nice to him, don't call him. Wait and see if he calls you first and especially what for. If he calls to tell you "I thought of coming over your place" and when he comes he is hurried to get to bed, it's obvious that the only thing that he likes about you is: you being easy going.

Answer 4

well you've known him for 2 years, but you didn't get to *know* him, you might regret it, and I can already tell you're having second thoughts about it. My opinion is yes you did have it too soon, but it isn't that he won't respect you- he might have just wanted to use you. You shouldn't respect him either because he had sex that soon as well. I think you've messed up your chances because everyone has sex too soon these days, & guys usually just want a piece of ***! Good luck! I hope the sex was good! (maybe he'll come back if it was)

Answer 5

Maybe yes, maybe no? It just sounds to me like you are having a hard time actually communicating your feelings.
Doubting yourself will certainly not help your chances with him.
Have enough self respect to pull him aside and ask him how he really feels. If you get something non-specific in return, I would guess that he is still trying to digest his own feelings about the encounter. Ask him something like, 'hey, did we rush things the other day?'
Asking a guy how he feels about anything is a lot like playing tennis blindfolded. Lead him to the court and take your chances, at least you will know where you stand. There is a lot to be learned from every situation in life. Learn what you can and do the best you can with it.

Answer 6

No way of knowing. Depends on where he is in his life & what he wants right now. Some men don't have time for much more than a quick romp. Some men have more than one on hand for a variety of quick romps. Maybe he feels like you don't want a relationship. The point is you won't know unless you ask, or you could just wait & see where it goes. Could only be that he doesn't want you to think thats why he is all of a sudden coming around more & he wants to go slow.

Answer 7

i talked to my fiance for about 2 weeks and once we finally decide to go on a date we spend all evening and night together wondering on NYC streets, hittin up lounges, pool halls, movies and when we got exhausted we got ourselves a hotel room.....at about 3 am back then....we didnt have sex until the morning we both woke up. To be honest it sounds weird as i think of it but very special and not ordinary. Everyone have their own story and each story is special if he is your special guy. I am now engaged and who knew it was going to happen. So lets say whatever happened...happened and it will last if it was meant to happen in a first place. :)

Answer 8

Yes, you made a mistake but only time will tell if he will respect you. I think you should just wait and let him make the moves now. This may have been a good lesson for you.

Answer 9

Hey, I don't know the answer exactly, but here is a book that tells women what to do after your situation. go read it immediately.

Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship: Books: Sherry Argov

Bitches stands for "Babe in the control of herself", and it tells a lot about how women should react to men's in every kind of situation.

and for your situation, in her book, she says, you must be IN CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTION, Don't CLING, or otherwise you will MESS it UP.

Answer 10

Yes it was too soon.

You're relationship may well work out, but having sex on what was effectively a first date, is irresponsible, especially in the world as it is today.

We seriously need to rethink our social behaviour.