Were you allowed to play with toys "meant" for the opposite gender?

Question

I was told that by not allowing a boy to choose or play with pink things, dolls, and girl stuff he'll grow up to be a "flamer." That person's oldest child is a homosexual. She constantly tells me that my "gender biased" behavior, like handing a boy child blue, instead pink, will make that child grow up to be gay. Do you think she says those things to me make herself feel better about raising a gay child? Or is what she's saying actually based on fact?

btw it's her daughter that's gay. lol. I should have been more specific.

Answer 1

Interesting . . . I usually hear the opposite- that handing a boy child pink, instead of blue, will make the child grow up to be gay. I always thought the theory was that messing up gender roles with cross-gender toys would create homosexuality.

Oh well, either way, no, I don't believe either one. What toys you play with don't determine anything except quite possibly how much fun you have. How could playing with dolls- or being prohibited from doing so- make a boy gay? It might have an effect on gender identity (but I highly doubt that, too), but as for sexuality- well, that's just utter crud.

I do imagine that she probably says these things to make herself feel better about raising a gay child. People will come up with all sorts of theories to assuage their fears.

Anyhow, I think I was allowed to play with toys "meant" for the opposite gender- there's a picture of me when I was four or so, in boots and a huge, plastic blue machine gun strapped across my chest . . . it still makes me smile to look at it. I had my fair share of Barbies and whatnot, but it was never forced on me, and I had one of those miniature cars- a little Jeep, not a pink princess wagon or something like that. I think my parents definitely let the real me come through, thank God.

Hope that helps!

Answer 2

If I were a parent, then yes. Especially considering that certain types of toys are heavily marketed toward one gender, yet there are few such toys aimed at children of the other gender. For example, a lot of "girls" toys mostly consists of dolls, animals, and kitchen sets that encourage make-believe play, which is great, but what if she wants to build something? As a young girl I enjoyed Legos (the Harry Potter sets were by the far the best) along with Barbies. I don't really believe in forcing gender roles on people, especially children. If I had a son that was into toy guns and Batman playsets, that's fine, if he wanted to play with a My Little Pony or mix-and-match Barbie outfits, that's fine too. Playing with opposite-gender toys won't mess them up. Shoot, I think kids should be more open-minded and not feel constricted to gender roles.

Answer 3

Come to think of it, yes. I remember how excited I was when my mom bought me a bag of toy soldiers. I had cap guns and fake roaches and whoopi cushions and all kinds of things that made slime, but I also had baby dolls and an easy-bake oven and lots of pink things. I guess I was a well rounded player.

Yeah...she's just pissed her son is gay. I don't believe it has much, if anything to do with what the parents think or want or give. It's just something that you are or you aren't. Because if the parents could do anything to stop homosexuality, I wouldn't be gay.

Answer 4

It is definitely not based on fact. I was allowed to play with any kind of toy I wanted and I was a major tom boy. I was always into sports, hated Barbies, and love Ninja Turtles. I am gay, but nothing I did or did not play with made me this way. I say it's your personal choice but it won't change what your son is, whether that is gay or straight.

Answer 5

Well my G I Joes had Barbie war brides.
But reality boys played rough and tumble but girls were frilly and danty.Someone for got to tell this to my best friends sister and cousin growing up.In the 60's we played cowboys(actually we played Indians-Native Americans now) Rita and Susan would wear loin cloths and use bow and arrows like her brother and I.
So I guess each sex did overlap with toys now and then.
That's all I have to say about that.

Answer 6

The way i see it you should let the boy play with whatever makes hI'm happy!!!!i played with toy guns and turtles etc but i also played with barbie and my little ponies!!!and im still gay!!!!

you cant turn a child into a gay or lesbian!!!We are born this way!!!!!!!

Answer 7

That person is an idot...no effence to you.


I have played with Barbies and Kens before but Iv also played with toy guns and rock n sock ems before.

Answer 8

It sounds highly unlikely. Fifty or a hundred years ago, that kind of gender biased treatment of children, especially boys, was much more universal- the fear being that if they might become flaming sissies otherwise. Yet in most cases they turned out heterosexual. I think your friend is silly and needs to just accept her son the way he is and stop looking for simplistic explanations.

Answer 9

I personally have never heard anything like that. I let my kids play with whatever they wanted when they were younger. They are straight as far as I know. Your friend might be saying it to make you feel better. But why would she do that? are you ashamed of your child? I doesn't sound like it to me.

Answer 10

thats RIDICULOUS! i was aloud to play with pink things as a child, never really chose to though. thats insane, dont believe her. its just the way her son was born.