is it wrong for an indian girl to have/marry a white boyfriend?

Question

hi. i'm indian. most of my indian relatives frown upon our relationship. they think it is really wrong. also my parents think that too. what should i do? my parents say that they will break all ties with me and will disown me if i marry a white boy. me and my bf really love each other and he proposed to me! what should i do????

i really love my parents but i love my bf too. my bf is really sweet and caring but the only reason my parents don't like him is because he is white. what should i do?

i love my parents and really care about them but what about my bf???

Answer 1

Tell your family to grow up, this is 2007...

Ask them why they do not want you to be happy

Answer 2

Ooh that's a toughie and I feel really bad for you. I would hate to be in your position. It's either lose your boyfriend or your parents. If I were you i'd marry your boyfriend. I know a man who is indian and married a white women. His parents disowned him they even had a funeral for him because they consider him to be dead. It was just awful that his parents could do that. I know that you love your parents but think about it, do they really love you? If they did then they wouldn't care that your boyfriend is white I don't care what their religious or cultural beliefs are. Do you think that you could ever be with an indian man? If so then who knows maybe you'll find a man of your own race that you love but you'll be taking a huge risk of finding the right person again. Love is very hard to find and only few do find it. I'm very sorry that this is happening to you and I wish you the best.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

No it's absolutely not wrong fro you to marry a white boy! One of my very best friends is an Indian Woman and White man couple. However, if you are really young, which you sound really young, I think this situation you should listen to your parents! Maybe you can get engaged first, and see how that works out for a year or so, how ever long you want the relationship. My friends, the couple, both in laws love the couple and they have no parent problems, perhaps it is not your parents, it is your boyfriend who is not suitable for you, he might not be the right one!

Answer 4

It's not wrong for you to marry, but you have to weigh the benefits and the costs. I am dating an indian girl right now and she has not told her parents about me. She's already met my parents and they love her.

I always said that I believe marriages should bring families together, not break them up. It would be weird if you are both 40 and with kids and are not allowed to visit her parents b/c of their racist attitudes. The kids would get weirded out about that. I think you should tell them that it's not all right to be racist (don't ask them; TELL them that if you haven't already). But, if they put their foot down and are so passionate against the two of you together, then I would recommend that you do not marry him. It would be weird to turn your back on your parents like that.

Lastly, have them at least meet him, and if they can honestly say they cannot stand him, then at least they've had the chance to understand the situation a little better.

Answer 5

Unfortunately our world is still divided amongst race and religion boundaries. I once announced to my brother (I am white) that I was going to date a black woman, he responded "what is wrong could not find a white girl". I was devastated to think a member of my own family would think this way. Traditions in family culture still clash with the way all people should think. Race is still an issue, but I would like to think we are getting better at understanding each other despite of hatred and war in the name of race and god.
The question remains in your heart and feelings, is he good to you, is it true love and do you believe this could last forever. Making a division in your family against you parents wishes is something not easily fixed if you are wrong. If he is all this to you most people would give anything to have a relation full of love and trust no matter what colour you both are.
Follow your heart know there are people out here like me who support you in whatever your choice should be.
I hope some day no one ever has to mention the colour of ones skin as a reference point to who they are.
What does it matter if it feels right...your choice to happiness no one else.

Best of luck

Answer 6

You should balance out the pros and cons
Pros:
You will marry someone you love
You will know the person better
Lose will be stronger than most

Cons:
Lose Indian Culture permanently (U.S. is a graveyard of culture and languages )
Break off ties with the people that love you the most

Answer 7

Julie you obviously have a big decision to make,
boyfriends come and go, family is 4ever .

I am not Indian but understand the culture somewhat and I think your parents want whats best for you.

My mom always use to say every bird flees to it's own nest ,I did not understand what she ment by that but now I do being married to a man from the same background .

If your b/f respects you for who you are then by all means consider marrying him but I would not risk losing my parents to anyone!!!

I wish you all the best Julie!!!

Answer 8

you're in a tough position and your parents should never have put you in that position.
I think you already know that there is nothing wrong with you being in love and marrying a white man....love knows no race and knows no color.
I suppose the only thing you can really do is follow your heart.
If it were me, I would sit my parents down and tell them that you are sorry they feel the way they do but that you love this man very much and want to spend the rest of your life with him. And that it would be very unfortunate if you and he have children and your parents never get to be in their grandchildren's lives because of their stubborness.
After that....the balls in their court but you have to follow your heart or you will forever regret it

Answer 9

Well Julie, for starters you have to think about why you love your white boyfriend. The racial part of it is important if it isn't what you want. Remember you could be looking at that white boy for the rest of your life. If I were in your shoes I would think about the countless mornings when you have to roll over and smell his breath. I would think about your head bouncing off his headboard from the hours of relentless sex every night. I would think about the security in knowing your mate. The family doesn't have to sleep with him you do.

Answer 10

I think it's really mean of your parents to make you go through this. If you and your BF really, really, love eachother, and you really think your marrige is going to last, then mary him. But if you two get a devorce, then you've lost your husband, and your family.

You can't help who you fall in love with. Just hope that eventually your parents will get used to the idea of you and him.

Answer 11

What can I say? I'm the product of mixed marriages on both sides of the family. If you marry the guy, likely your family will in time get over their objections if he's as good a guy as you say. If you marry him, and it doesn't work out, your family will almost certainly still take you back... but be prepared to feast on crow for a while.

P.S.-- I had a rabbi friend who once told me that he was frequently asked if he would perform mixed marriages. His response? "Absolutely not! Both the bride and the groom must be human."