A Poem Called Love
I've seen it hurt my closest friends
I've seen it make them cry.
I've seen it take their innocence.
I've seen it change their lives.
I've seen it turn it all a mess.
I've seen it rise and fall.
I've seen it make them look like less.
I've seen it leave with all.
With all of this I have a need.
I yearn to endure their ache.
I want to fall fast and hard.
Just for loves sake.
2007-04-09 14:50:59 · 10 answers · asked by belle_fille 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Yeah, it's not bad. You sound young. ;) I agree that the 5th line could use some rewriting. It's a bit of a tongue twister.
What I really like about this, is that it's not the typical boo-hoo-you-broke-my-heart-I-want-to-die love poem. I hope you get to experience the love you are seeking. Much luck to you, and keep writing!
2007-04-09 15:26:19 · answer #1 · answered by LittleD1981 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice. :) You have a good sense of meter, and there's a simple structure and message to it. I'm not sure if I'd call it "poetry", but it's good *verse*, and I like it as that. :)
2007-04-09 21:57:52 · answer #2 · answered by The Oracle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I really like it. Except, I don't really understand the ending.
2007-04-09 21:59:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad. Don't like the 5th line, tho.
2007-04-09 21:55:47 · answer #4 · answered by Alice K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like your poem because it has emotion and it also shows how you really feel about love and how it has hurt your friends.
2007-04-09 21:58:04 · answer #5 · answered by Advicer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good, keep on writing.
2007-04-09 21:56:48 · answer #6 · answered by dreamlauros 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in "fairy land". Go out and get a real job.
2007-04-09 21:54:36 · answer #7 · answered by Spikey and Scruffy's Mummy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well it's good, keep it up and you'll have your own book soon, good luck
2007-04-09 21:54:32 · answer #8 · answered by Da 1 N only 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its good.. keep up the good work.. ;*)
2007-04-09 21:55:43 · answer #9 · answered by Breaker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.
2007-04-09 21:55:43 · answer #10 · answered by Father Ted 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋