Alright so my boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. and during this time period I was still calling him and letting him know how upset it made me. He would never come right put and say he didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore, he just needed time to figure things out. he said something just didn't feel right. So I quit calling and he started calling. He called me last week one day twice and then the next day and every time he just wanted to know how i was and what i was up to. he never said anything about getting together. I never called. But then he waited a day then called me on saturday to say he wasn't gonna call me anymore cause i wasn't calling him. he sounded sad. then we went on to tell each other that we mi8ssed each other and then i asked him to come and see the next night. and he did. Things went well and i was very happy to see him and he was very happy to see me. and he said other things regarding that hes been thinking about me and missed me.
2007-04-09 12:58:59 · 32 answers · asked by alice 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and he was very affectionate towards me. it felt like we were back together again. so i just don't know if i just got used or if he really meant it. i know only he knows the answer to this, but i guess my question is do i just flat out ask, or do i just wait it out and keep giving him his space. its not just him now that is confused, he really hurt me and i don't want to start anything up again until he is 100% sure. so do i give space still or do i confront?
2007-04-09 13:02:41 · update #1
Okay...he DID tell you he needed time to figure things out...correct? Why is it so difficult for people to just LISTEN to what the other is saying. Instead you called and without realizing it played on his sympathy for how hurt you were, making him feel guilty for just needing a break. Then you just up and quit calling. And YOU'RE the one confused??? He started calling you because you got him all confused. One minute you're pouring your heart out, the next...nothing. I'm sure you two care about each other, BUT sometimes you need to let the other person have some time to sort out their feelings. A relationship is a BIG step at any age and when you're young it's complicated by interfering friends, peer pressure and raging hormones. Maybe all he needed was some time to make sure his feelings for you were real. What I hope DIDN'T happen was that he felt pressured into calling you and that he had enough time to sort things out...for both your sakes. There may come a time when you need the same type of break from things and you're not going to appreciate him calling every few hours trying to make you feel guilty. The old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is sooo true. Hopefully you'll get things back on track for good. If either of you needs a break...take it and enjoy some SELF time. If it's meant to be...you'll be back together before you know it. Best of luck.
2007-04-09 13:16:27 · answer #1 · answered by paesano2578 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either way isnt going to get you the answer you seek. Not until hes ready to tell you. He showed upthe other night to "test" his feelings for you and to see exactly where you stand in this mess. He probably wants you but also wants to see if the grass is greener on the other side of the street too before making a long term committment. Be patient and give him some more time. Just let him know youll give him the time he requests and youll be therein case he wants to talk, but dont call him. Guys dont like woman who stalk them all the time so dont be pushy. Be patient and live your life as if he wasnt there. Might make him a little jealous but that wont hurt him. In fact it just might make him speed uphis decision. Good luck
2007-04-09 13:23:25 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he thought that you would run after him and would not be able to go on without him and when you quit calling him and made him do the running after you, you may have caused him to take a look at what he was losing by not calling you. He may have needed a break to see if you were the one he wanted and maybe he is seeing what he is in jepordy of losing if he doesn't straighten out. Take it slow if you are giving him another chance and just be friends first then slowly move on to be more if that is what you want to do. Love is not suppose to hurt emotionally or physically.
2007-04-09 13:06:19 · answer #3 · answered by patricia g 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but you have been far to easy to catch. Then, you chased him after he said goodbye. Only when you put the phone down did he start calling. And guess what...he may just want to keep you hanging on with no intent of doing anything about it...some people go through life collecting hearts and not wanting to let them go...face it, honey, he may want you back now, but as soon as he gets you, he will start up with the crap again...you both are young, aren't you? This is teenage behavior. Move on, there will be plenty of guys in the future. You are not stuck with a "once in a lifetime deal" here.
2007-04-09 13:05:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say maybe time apart is a good thing for the two of you. If he said he needed time apart it had to be for a reason. You need to find out what that reason is, and only he can give you that answer. So give him time to sort his feelings out. If the relationship is important to you (which it sounds like it is) wait it out. Sometimes when men get into a serious relationship (or one they feel is getting serious) they start freaking out. If that's what happened, once he realizes you're a catch (;) he'll be back.
Good luck!
2007-04-09 13:12:43 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ justbnme ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand that at this point you're hurt and confused because of all that's happened between you, and the contradictory behavior he showed you. It sounds like he already realizes how much he still cares about you and misses you. Try to have another discussion in which the two of you decide how you want to proceed, and if you both want to get back together again.
2007-04-16 03:42:41 · answer #6 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him his space. Tell him he asked for space and that is what you are giving him. Sometimes, guys cheat and use this excuse. Other times, I have learned that they really are confused. Pushing and pushing them will only make him think you are nagging him. Reading too much into a good night will make him run, calling him and being too available to him while he needs his space will only make him dangle this space moment along. You can do what you like, but I would give him his space, no matter how bad I want to see him. PLEASE do not sleep with him. This too will allow him to stay out there in ''space''.
2007-04-14 13:40:43 · answer #7 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him a lot of space, pretend as though its over and move on. Dont put your life on hold for him. Start putting your life back together and focus on you. If you keep letting him back in so easy he will never commit to you or the break up. He doesnt know what he wants, so decide for him until he gets his act together.
2007-04-17 07:22:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think that hes using you to get over you, if that makes any sense. Yes he likes you and he enjoys your company but its only the company that's bought him back in the first place. He is lonely and doesn't want to be alone. I believe if some other girl was showing him affection he would not bother to call you. Maybe I'm wrong, but believe it or not this is a very common situation.
2007-04-09 13:08:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds fairly normal as far as relationships go. At least for teenagers. It's a pretty childish thing to do. But if you miss him and you want to give him another chance, then give it to him. Find out how he is feeling and what you can do to fix it, if you really care about him anyway.
2007-04-09 13:04:27 · answer #10 · answered by wanderingphotographer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋