i know i am alreaddy bisexual, i have been for a long time.
but my mate Emma, is having Issues about deciding what she is. and im not really the best advice giver. so please could you help me? thank you x
2007-04-09 12:02:47 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
she does need help, thats why she is asking me, thats why im asking you to help me.
2007-04-09 12:18:07 · update #1
heart o' gold...
she does need help, thats why she is asking me, thats why im asking you to help me.
2007-04-09 12:18:49 · update #2
Yasmin C..
its here cause its called yahoo answers, you have to ask a question to get an answer. why waste your time, when you could answer somthing more worth it. is you dont agree to it being here, please dont bother asking
2007-04-09 13:46:41 · update #3
just give her time to figure out who she really is and not only who she wants to be.
2007-04-09 12:07:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the best piece of advice I have for anyone is never to rush trying to work out who you are & never feel you have to label yourself. Why does she need to say she's gay, bi or straight? Why not just go with the flow, keep an open mind either way & see who she falls in love with? I think we often feel we need to fit into life's neat little categories but we don't. Sexuality is a very complex & individual thing anyway & can change throughout our lifetime. If however she really feels the need to put herself in a category then why doesn't she put herself on a scale from 1 -10 instead. 1 = Totally straight, 5 = Bisexual, 10 = Totally lesbian. It is less pressure to be a number!
2007-04-10 13:18:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assuming your friend is potentially bisexual, she is probably going through what a lot of bisexuals experience - confusion.
Bisexuals can spend their whole lives wondering why they experience attractions to both sexes, and why it can change. One day, you feel "straight" and are just about to identify as such, and then you suddenly experience a gay attraction - something which reminds you that you're not straight. This also happens in reverse, and you may have temporarily identified as gay - until you experienced overwhelming attraction towards a member of the opposite sex - something which reminds you that you're not gay.
The anxiety described above is the result of internalising society's ideals of being one or the other. In this situation, you're feeling pressured to choose one label or the other and experience anxiety - because you can't "choose".
In addition, bisexuals often experience discrimination and misunderstanding both from the homosexual and heterosexual communities. Some homosexuals and heterosexuals feel that bisexuals are really gay, hence the popular gay expression "bi now, gay later". If a bisexual believes this, they can feel as though "they're stuck".
Homosexuals, despite experiencing negative treatment from society, have it easier as they have their own community to identify with. Being with likemindied people allows homosexuals to understand their own feelings and shape their own reality. Bisexuals, in the absence of a bi-community, can feel isolated - and often complain about feeling like an outsider in both the gay and straight communities.
To successfully traverse the stage of confusion, bisexuals have to discover and understand the bisexual label - what does it mean? More importantly - its okay. Bisexuals have to discover other likemindied people, usually through the internet, and share each other's reality. Eventually, the bisexual forms their own understanding and makes their own rules about what is acceptable for their own lifestyle - even if it doesn't agree with everyone else.
2007-04-10 02:39:55 · answer #3 · answered by nemesis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can "help her decide." Perhaps it would be best if she continued to interact with folks, male and female and let things take a natural course. Love does not need to be conditional, yet there are some that know that they are exclusively homosexual, or heterosexual. It is based upon experience, time, contemplation and most importantly the emotional and sexual attraction she may have for another person. If they are mainly with women then she is mainly homosexual. If it is mainly for men than she is mainly heterosexual. However it may be wise for her to just evolve and just "be" with this for awhile, as she takes the time to investigate. She does not need to put herself in a "box" Unfortunately society dictates this boxing mentality when love and feelings are indeed fluid if allowed to evolve naturally. So she should just chill and go with the flow of life...
2007-04-10 08:38:54 · answer #4 · answered by Suzanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend my own child and I do recommend my friends not to have sexual experience with his / her own sex if he / she has some doubts about it.
If she is under 20 - I don't know the limit that doctors say, the number may be higher or lower - , this kind of experience can be harmful for her psychological health in her maturity.
She can write down her feelings about women and men on a paper and you can help her to be honest.
Then see what she wrote on that paper.
Does she see both genders as sex partners or is she only curious about having sex with the other gender which she has never been with etc.
Never tell her that she is bi, gay or straight. Just let her find her own way.
The "right" person who can help you is a therapist. They are here to help us with our questions, so why not call them? :)
Good Luck
2007-04-09 19:30:08 · answer #5 · answered by survey taker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your no good at giving advice just wait till the right moment and without saying a word grab your friend by the hand and lead her to the bedroom and completely seduce her this might put her in the right direction.
2007-04-12 02:02:03 · answer #6 · answered by stevie-b-101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's having problems deciding what she is.... she's probably a confused hetrosexual, or a hetrosexual who's had a tough time with a guy and needs a confidence boost but is looking at girls for loveing empathy and support not a sexual relationship. Be sure you offer her support (lots) and choice, not accidental encouragement to join your lifestyle.
2007-04-10 04:35:42 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the only advice you could give her is, first to realize it is not a decision at all, its something that she already is and its just a matter of self discovery. Tell her to take time and really think about who she is and what kind of impact her sexuality would have on her and her life.
2007-04-09 19:15:37 · answer #8 · answered by Jeannie C 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well the problem is.. what details do we have to go on? All you said is she is having problems with her sexuality.. well what kind of problems? Does she think she could be bi.. straight.. lesbian.. you need to give us something to go on. You're right that yahoo is here for you to ask questions.. but we can't answer you if you don't give us details. chris x
2007-04-10 07:07:23 · answer #9 · answered by chris c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make that decision for her. It's how SHE feels, not what someone tells her to feel. Perhaps she just needs time to be alone and come to grips with what she feels inside. Just let her know that no matter what decision she makes, you will respect her feelings. You can get upset if she wants to break off with you, but don't hold it against her. If you just don't feel something for someone, you can't make yourself feel it. I hope this helps. Good luck to you.
2007-04-09 22:12:30 · answer #10 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't push her into doing thing she doesn't want 2 do. give her time to think over things she might be in a stuation where she does know because of pressure. make sure to let her you are there for no matter what she chooses and that you won't hate her if she doesn't pick you, beleave me she wants to hear this words
2007-04-09 19:17:38 · answer #11 · answered by maldonado 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋