i know my husband loves me but it hurts me when he is looking at other woman! He thinks its no big deal because they are on Tv or the internet. But its not okay with me!! And like one of the shows he watches is Taping of a night club we used to go to a lot, that is not that far away from us. And he likes to watch it to check out the half naked woman.......I hate this, What can I do?
2007-04-09 09:22:16 · 51 answers · asked by Beautiful Disaster 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Rip his eyes out of his head. Because that is the only way he will ever stop looking at women. OR you could work on your insecurities and realize that he chose you over all the other women in the world.
2007-04-09 09:27:07 · answer #1 · answered by Poppet 7 · 7⤊ 3⤋
You can't and you won't. People are people and just because you are in a relationship does not mean you have to be blind. I am sure you notice other guys, but you may not act the same way he does when he sees an attractive girl. Lots of women have this problem, but if you don't trust him then why are you with him in the first place? If he is with you he wants you and that should not matter. Don't try and compare yourself to these women because he is not with them so if he could be then he really wants you and that should let you know. We can not stop looking at women, but that does not mean we have to touch them either. I have a tip, dress up real nice and go out with him somewhere and talk to a guy and see what he says, if he is ok with it then you are very insecure and you will always have problems, if he gets mad then tell him that is how you feel when he looks at half naked women and if he doesn't get the point and you can not deal with it then leave.
2007-04-09 09:29:35 · answer #2 · answered by sarkasmik209 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Well, some women after they get married, let themselves go to pizza hut.. ya know eat what ever, get fat and nasty and get bad hygiene, and just stop caring.. I know some men do the same, but nonetheless, it's not nice to look at, and it becomes a turn off.. Men/women should not just let themselves go, they should try to look, smell and put on the best they can for each other, I think it's just fair. So if your man is looking somewhere else, and your doing what i said above, do an about face and clean up your act. If you nothing from what i said, and your husband just a pig and likes to look at other women, then you have a problem, and need to let your husband know one way or the other you don't' like it. Or better yet fight fire with fire, check out men, go out buy picks of nude men or something to get his attention that you don't like what's going on, and he's being very disrespectful..
2007-04-09 09:38:42 · answer #3 · answered by Hummbaba 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's important for you to explore why tapes and the internet bothers you. Does it feel like betrayal or an insult? Does it seem like he's getting more turned on by what he's watching instead of you? Is his habits getting out of control?
If you feel betrayed or like this is cheating, it's then important for the two of you to talk and agree on the definition of the term "cheating." Some people think that it's sex with someone outside of your relationship and only that, but others, like my fiance and I, believe that it starts with way before that. For example, it seems like checking out other girls is cheating for you, but it's clearly not for him! How does it make him feel when you ogle at other men in front of him? Or for you to go to a strip club with men performing? It's also important for you to not compromise what you are adamantly against.
The other very important issue is whether or not he chats with other women on the internet. Innocent chats can explode into full-blown fantasies and end up with meeting offline. Perhaps you should find out if he's doing this too, because this could end up destructing your marriage.
It's also helpful to see if he has a problem with sex-addiction or something of similar nature. Big signs of this is when he's in the state of mind where he cannot let even 1 day pass without looking into without pornographic material. That can be treated.
The other thing is, perhaps his sexual needs aren't being met and that's why he can't give this up. This should be considered carefully. If his sex drive requires sex 3 times a day and you're a 3 times a weeker, there has to be some kind of compromise. Is there anything "feasible" you two can agree on so that he will give up the internet stuff (i.e. buy magazines and movies together).
If all these things don't work, please go to counseling! It hurts you when he looks at other girls and he doesn't want to give that up, therefore, counseling is important for the health of your marriage explore, find an understanding, and find a happy medium. This may seem like one problem now, but with sex being such an important part of a couple's marriage, without resolve this could be detrimental to your marriage.
Hope this helps! Good luck :)
2007-04-09 09:42:12 · answer #4 · answered by ms xazzia 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wow....I'm having the exact same problem! Recently my husband went on My Space looking at women. He's been doing things on the net like this for about 5 years...even before we were married he was doing it but I thought maybe he would grow out of it. Nope. You can't change him...he has to want to change on his own. I even threatened to leave him and he would stop for about 3 months and then start up again so it never really goes away. It's just something that men love doing and it's sad when you think it's disrespectful and they don't. He use to do it really bad when we be in public, his eyes always fixated on someone else. Alot of people will think you're being insecure but it's not about that, it's about being respected! I am currently looking for a solution. Please let me know if you come up with one. lol
2007-04-09 09:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ashley, its okay to be jealous but you must know it doesn't matter if a men is single or married they will look at other women, it calls admiration, not that they wish they're with them or her. If you really pay attention, men in general do look to other people esp. to a woman, its the men's hormones that does that,that why they're different to us women. Women also look to men when they're passing through esp. if this man have tight butt,its only natural for us to admire them.
Why don't you tell your husband that you feel insecure or annoyed when he does this, then maybe he will see how you feel. Tell him what if you look at other men in front of him esp. if this man has a nice body than him,will he feels good about it??..just talk to him and never hide how you feel, that is why you are his wife, not those women that he admires on TV or Internet...................
2007-04-09 09:43:47 · answer #6 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first, and don't take this the wrong way, but you need to stop whining. You can't honestly tell anyone that you don't check out other guys...everyone does it, male and female. Now. tell him that his actions make you uncomfortable, and you would like for him to look at you more, like he looks at the girls on TV and the net. Then, really give him something to look at. Pretty yourself up real good, get yourself some sexy clothes. I recommend some lingerie. Every girl knows that guys go crazy when they see a sexy woman in stockings and high heels. Wear some thigh high stockings with some really sexy heels, and strut your stuff in front of him, but in a very teasing way. Wear them while doing tasks around the house, and check his reaction. Then when he least expects it, wear them to bed some night. It will really blow his mind. Trust me, I know from personal experience. Good Luck.
2007-04-09 09:31:17 · answer #7 · answered by Society Dweller 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Famous people, actresses, models all people he is never going to get. Second, I'm willing to bet even though you won't admit it, you look at just as many guys as he does girls. It is normal for a guy to look at acctresses. But hey that is money at work. What you need to worry about if he starts acting on his desires with other women. Our eyes look at people. Some catch us more then others, but we all do it. Girls and Guys. But it is the love we have that stops us from going any farther then just looking.
2007-04-09 09:44:44 · answer #8 · answered by LARRY74 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's in all of our nature to appreciate beauty. He isn't going to stop looking and neither should you. You should ask yourself why you feel insecure about him watching beautiful sexy women on television. Has he done or said something to make you feel insecure? He married you, he's obviously attracted to you, but appreciates beauty when he see it. You need to realize that you yourself are a beautiful person...and out of everyone in the rest of the world he chose to marry you. Try not to take it personally but if that doesn't work, I'd try to find a nice way to let him know you feel that behavior is disrespectful to you. Good Luck and Best Wishes.
2007-04-09 09:46:46 · answer #9 · answered by dreamofme4u 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nothing, He loves you right? Never cheated? (I hope not) He might be married but that doesn't me he is dead! What he gets married and is suppose to stop looking that another woman? I don't think so. That's wrong of you to think that and want that. Whats wrong with looking at a menu, its only if he wants a taste of whats on the menu that there would be a problem.
2007-04-09 09:31:19 · answer #10 · answered by biggdaddy1669 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
get rid of the TV and computer...simple huh? NOT!! Men are going to look at other women, nothing is ever going to change that. If he can look at the women why can't you look at the men? What's good for the gander is also is good for the goose, if he doesn't like it then tell him you don't like it either, and if he quits you will too.
2007-04-09 09:46:28 · answer #11 · answered by tennessee_cherokee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋