Why do I constantly lose my self-confidence?

Question

My confidence drops so low that my A's become D's.
I think as myself as stupid, unreliable, mrs. nobody.
I think of myself as the ugliest young lady on this planet.
I think about dropping out of college and loosing my scholarship.
This has affected my relation with the people around me. I'm not the strong person I was. People use to ask me for advice. I was a kind of role model. Now, I'm in a state of confusion and I don't enjoy college anymore.
When is this going to end?

How can I not let what people say affect me?

Answer 1

if your self-confidence is purely based on other people's approval,
im afraid, you're going to lose it over & over again.

if you start considering your self first, the good you do to others,
i guess it wont mater if they appreciate you or not,
it's their loss, not yours.

Answer 2

it happens to everybody, I included. But think of it this way in 5 years where will all those people critizing u be. long gone. Will they call u up in 10 years and say i remember u, u were the one that couldn't do anything right. highly unlikly that would happen. I still feel like u sometimes, but if u drop out of college u will sink even further and will end up a street who.r.e. (no offense). If you're in college, your not stupid (if u haven't figured out what u want to do, don't worry about it, most people change career plans every couple of months). We r our biggest critic and if u can tell yourself that u r going to be a successful confident person than u can be that. All through high school i was just like u, afraid to even speak outloud because i was afraid that people would make fun of me. i got so paranoid that i never even talked unless i had to, and even then i would stutter and be so scared, it was so bad that i never even got 1 date in high school. It took me until my 2nd semester of college for that. I'm now in my 3rd year of college and very close to getting a 2year degree, and am very excited about the possibility of getting a really great job that i enjoy. U should only have friends who support u and will help u, most people only have a couple true friends and that's where it should end, most of the others r just a nuisance that don't care about u or anyone but themslves. I really hope this helped, all i can do is write the words, u r the 1 that has to decide what to do 4 yourself.

Answer 3

When did this start? At the risk of over-identifying, I'd suggest you feel guilty about giving poor advice to someone, moved from being a big fish in a small pond to being a small fish in a big pond (like moving from a small town to college) or expressed a sensible opinion that everyone disagreed with. That's my answer to your first question. Regarding the second question, given you were previously confident, could it just be that you're doubting yourself for the first time in your life? Anyway, form a robust self-image that can weather what people are saying. By the way, which people are saying what - you've not got yourself into an absuive relationship with someone, have you?

Answer 4

You might have had some bad experiences or traumas that caused you to doubt yourself. Sometimes when we fall we have to experience the wrong and see it for what it is. You have to see the foolishness of doubt and fear and the moment you begin to doubt the doubt, that is the start of a new faith. Maybe you need to see that you weren't that confident in the first place and now it's time to shed the old and regrow a new skin better than before. We're only as strong as our greatest temptation or weakest link. Something shook your confidence, but that's good because now you know more about yourself and you can go to work on it.

Confidence = con + fideo = with faith. Trust more and more in your own seeing and understanding and muster the courage to act from it. Make nothing else matter more and let the chips fall where they may. One victory and you'll be on your way. It's not instant, it's a journey and a process of becoming.

Answer 5

First of all you are one of a world full of children, young people, parents and grandparents that have lost our way.

Now more then ever before our dogmas, and cultures and complexions and complexities are converging.

We are in a transition period as a species, much like each individual goes through puberty, only a step up in the overall scheme of things.

From the more universal perspective, even each species has to go through adolescence and demonstrate the ability to cope..."in balance and interrelationship with and within that, which surrounds".

Unfortunately many who were once confident are now realizing that we as a species have had our "A's" become "F's", just look around you.

Many, many, many, many people are feeling frustrated and stupified but not because they are stupid but because they are lead astray, by wolves in shepherds clothing.

Our species itself offers little, within the overall scheme of things
and a sense of our failure enters each being
as our basic tenant's are crumbling and with them our confidences.

Take a deep breath, you are not mrs nobody, but yes, we en masse become unreliable, distracted and distant and it's time we all pay attention and loosen the reigns that bind.

By the way you are not ugly nor do you need to feel shame if you ask for help.

You are a stronger person then you know "because" you are asking for help, most people give in or give up or hide their heads in the sand.

Be consoled by knowing that there are others feeling like you.
In there own way,
in their own place,
in their own circumstances,
no matter where born or how coerced or what they are being enticed toward.

The best way to know what advice is good, is to seek it when the usual answers aren't working any more.

When you do question the status quo, it can be very frightening and frustrating and intimidating.

Especially when those around you still hold the party line when you and they both know, things just ain't right.

It is time to step back and take a deep breath, collectively while we each and all and together put things in perspective, but it is still up to you.

Who it is said, or who we think we are.

What we profess or preach or whom we follow...does not reflect worth.

How we exist in humble relationship with and within all that surrounds does.

That means at college and at work and at home and at the neighbors and in our neighborhoods and the rest will take care of itself and the community will take care of us as well if take care, as well.

Pass it on.

Answer 6

You don't specify, but I'm guessing you haven't been at college for very long. When you start college, you suddenly find yourself surrounded by really smart people and you're no longer the star. This is actually good. It's a chance to grow. The trouble is, you've gone to the other extreme. Now you think of yourself as an ugly stupid nobody. Well, this is obviously wrong. They don't give out scholarships to idiots. I think you should take things slowly. Just do your best, and soon you'll be feeling comfortable with your situation.

Answer 7

Because you're human dear, and it's okay. We all doubt ourselves, even the most confident-seeming of folks.

A good way to get through these slumps is with positive affirmations. Give your self daily (heck even hourly) positive affirmations in the areas of your life you feel most down about.

For instance, each morning, when you're getting ready for school, look at yourself in the mirror. Look yourself in the eye and say:

1) I am an intelligent and confident woman.
2) I am a dependable, reliable person.
3) I am a beautiful woman, inside and out.
4) I am an important and vital piece of the puzzle that we call this universe!
5) I love myself, I love all others and I am loved!
6) I am connected to everything and everyone and to the all that is by the loving and powerful life-force energy of the universe!

Do this ATLEAST once a day, if not more. Memorize it and recite it and make it your mantra. Say it each morning for 30 days while looking at yourself in the mirror.

You have brainwashed yourself into thinking all of the negative things you listed above. Now it's time to change that tune and take conscious control of your thoughts and your life and brainwash yourself into believing the positive stuff.

Best wishes dear!!!

Answer 8

I don't know how old you are but to me you are describing my 20's. Some people just don't enjoy being young. It's too depressing. So much peer pressure to know what you want from your life, know who you are supposed to be. Seems like you're being left behind or something and that no one really understands the misery your going through. I felt like nothing sometimes but you know what.....if you are indeed in your 20's then it does get better in your 30's. Things that mattered in your 20's are now irrevelant and you really come into yourself. You find a new level of peace and start discovering things that interest you in life that you can focus on and that brings you happiness.

Answer 9

For some reason your focus changes from positive emotional content to the negative. For some reason, you then change your focus to those thoughts, emotions, feelings, and senses. Cause and effect combined with the law of attraction then leads you to negative places. All you need to do is reverse the direction. Start focusing on what you want, the things you like and enjoy. Maintain that focus as long as possible. Listen to music which makes you feel good. Bring back to your memory pleasant vacations, or invent them even.
Fill in many details. This is going to end when you decide to end it. Read one of the many self-help books now available regarding the law of attraction.

Answer 10

I won't claim to have any solution. But, you might want to try talk with your academic counselor. (Generally, each student is assigned an academic counselor.) She can direct you to psych. counselor a the university. To someone trained in the field. (I know it can sound hokey to do so, but why not try to see if it will be of some benefit.) Also, you might want to try meditation, yoga or some other form of relaxation/exercise.

Depression can also be linked to a chemical imbalance in your brain. There are drugs for that. But, this definitely is not a choice for everyone.

Learn to relax. Develop a gentle indifference to the superficial things in life. Only care about the opinions of the people close to you whom you honestly respect. If someone has a negative opinion, ask yourself: "Do I even give a damn what this person thinks of me?" Often, you will answer, "Nope, I do not."

Answer 11

to be honest i dont think so as u have lost confidence.. its just something is worrying you inside.. all i can say is dont care about what people think or might think of your action.. i would say is .. if u feel something is right for you. than it is right.. as 100 people 100 suggestions and 100 thoughts .. take a vacation.. go out at some quiet place.. take some yoga lessons.. they are free on web... you are still strong as u are an individual who has some qualities which are unique.. scholarship.. dont loose it as how many people get scholarships.. :)

take a good vacation.. be with good friends u trust.. go for walks .. listen to music.. cook something good for urself..get a pet.. I am sure u can easily convert D's back to A's and A+...

you are unique.. which stands u apart from rest of the world..

I hope it helped :) take care