how do i make it to where i want to have sex with my husband more/?

Question

when we first got together the sex was great, but now that were married, i dont have a sex drive, and i think its because i havent gotten pregnant and that was a really tough situation for awhile, our relationship is good but he wants it way more than i do and i want to be able to please him.

Answer 1

read erotic stories
try new things with sex positions and toys

Answer 2

I think there might be more to the story than you're saying.
Maybe it isn't all your fault as you seem to think. How long have you been married? Did you both want to get pregnant? Or was it one sided and because of that it caused a lot of tension between you? How often does he "want" to have sex? How often did you have it before as compared to his want now?

I think you should consider all those things. Then remember that this is a marriage...a coming together of the two of you. Yes, you'd like to please him but that should go both ways.
I can't imagine that you went from having a sex drive to it disappearing all together. Something happened.....that is what you must find and then figure out how to live with it or come to an understanding about it. Maybe some counseling would help. I know a few couples who went for sex counseling and they're still married and happy.

If upon reflection, none of these things fit the picture then maybe you should see your Doctor for a physical. Maybe there is a hormonal imbalance or some other medical reason for the loss of your libido. One of depression's side effects is loss of sex drive. Maybe that is what you're going through right now and you don't realize it.

I wish you lots of luck. I'm sure there is something that can be done to make your relationship work. Don't give up on it.

Answer 3

It may be that you're too distracted about pregnancy issues but maybe there's something else distracting too.
It used to be that my husband and I were on the same drift most of the time, then it seemed that I wanted it more often than he did. I realized that made it too easy for him and he wasn't interested in something he knew he could have at any time. Maybe cuz he's always in the mood it leaves no surprise or effort for you... ask him to let off a bit and give you the chance to pursue him.
Remember what used to turn you on about your hubby and compare that to now, things do change but maybe you both are more tired or feel strapped for time to have sex. You must make time to get lost in each other and not feel like the clock (biological or other) are ticking away. Try setting up a romantic evening. Tell him a week in advance what you want to do to him, tell him you're going to be in charge of pleasing him. Focus on pleasing him only and you may find that by the time that night comes you will be the one getting the most pleasure all the way around! You could try tying him up even if you think you need to! LOL =)
If you don't feel sexy enough for yourself try going out and getting a massage to relax or whatever you think may make you feel good. Maybe a sexy new outfit would help put you in the right state of mind. Try to explore your own desires more by yourself. If you know what trips your own trigger you can better direct your husband to the spots that send you to the moon! Plus if you're comforatable with your own sexuality you won't feel self concious about yourself around him. (I'm not saying this is a problem for you but it could be and you're just not aware of it.)

I hope everything falls into place for you hun, other things in life can take the priority role but you can change that sometimes. Good Luck

Answer 4

It's difficult when the pressure of trying to get pregnant takes over. Try doing some NON sexual things together, like when you were first dating - then try easing into just touching, massages, backrubs, etc. without sex. When you start re-associating touching and sensuality with your husband instead of baby-making, you'll be able to relax and enjoy yourself more. Try and remember why you what to have a child with him in the first place. When sex becomes a chore, we want to avoid it. I hope things work out for you. I went through something similar with trying to get pregnant. We both have fertility issues. When we finally relaxed and decided that we'd let Mother Nature take its course, we ended up becoming pregnant. Best of luck!

Answer 5

well if your pregnant and don't want to, your husband show respect that and take care of himself or you can give him a hand too. Some women love sex during pregnancy, some don't, our minds and bodies react differently. Some men don't want to have sex with a pregnant wife because they fear hurting the child. Good luck

Answer 6

We are all made different and things change .
It is great you want to please your husbands needs ,wants and desires ,I can only hope he is trying to do the same for you ! Don't take this wrong but ask the pro's the doctors and other ladies to get the best advise and help .
Their are some other things work out ,eating right ,vitamins ,and limit the stress in life their are other ways to please him oral and hand work which may turn you on explain to him that you want to help him and tell him your dreams wants needs and desires then also ask him his so you both can work on this together and maybe being open will turn things on for you more we hope .
Best of wishes and great steps to care for the one you love !

Answer 7

See if you can change things up...try some things from the kama sutra, buy some toys to add to the fun. Have "love" coupons that are good for kisses, hugs, nookie...to be redeemed one a day.

Let your husband know that you're feeling a little overwhelmed with regular life right now and that what you really need from him is some good old fashioned talking or cuddling, that isn't going to lead to sex. Let him know that when your mind is overwhelmed with worries, it's hard to get "in the mood" and that maybe taking a brief intermission every so often will help.

Make it a game like shooting for so many days to avoid sex.....see who caves first. :o) (sometimes just knowing you CAN'T have sex makes you want it more...lol)

Check with your doctor (gynecologist) to see if your hormone levels are where they should be....that could explain your inability to get pregnant AND your sex drive!

Answer 8

Your desire to have sex shouldbe out of the fact that you love your husband.Realize that even if you "aren't in the mood", once you start messing around you will get in the mood. If he needs sex more often, then you should definately give him sex more often. Marriage is about giving of yourself for the one you love. Also, men need sex the way women need conversation. Imagine how you'd feel if your husband only talked to you when he "felt like it" ....your relationship would fall apart fast. I think sex in a mariage is equally important. (especially to your husband) My recommendation to you....even if you don't feel like it, sex EVERY day. It'll blow him away.

Answer 9

"Just do it" is the best advice I can come up with... And at least once in a while, pretend you like it. A person who patents the way to increase female libido will be a millionaire.

Answer 10

Guys like Just1more aren't happy, until they've gotten a woman to wallow in the mud with them. They have no respect for females so they don't see anything wrong with treating them like dogs.

Understand that some men think marriage gives them the right to sex whenever they want it. They expect their wives to behave like sex machines, pumping out sexual favors upon demand. You can in no way keep up with such a pace, which is why you're burned out.

It's not about you not getting pregnant. It's about a husband who has abused his sexual privileges. When your husband starts treating you like his loving wife, rather than like a piece of raw meat, you will regain your sexual desire. Don't listen to people who tell you to wallow in the mud. They don't care anything about you.

Answer 11

You lost your sex drive because you can't get pregnant? Huh???

You might remind yourself that if you want to get pregnant, you usually need to have sex...often!

You want to please HIM?? Please.....if your sex drive has gone down, it's probably because you have gotten bored. Sex can become very boring if the guy just jumps on top of you, satisfies himself, and then goes to sleep. If he wants more sex, he needs to learn how to please a woman in every way possible. I guarantee your sex drive will come back....