OK so he made a mistake, doesn't everyone. Isn't walking away the easy way out. I mean come on: "for better or worse" isn't that what the vows say. So why do I feel like I am the only one out there who thinks I am making the right choice and working things out with my husband?
2007-04-09 08:01:49 · 12 answers · asked by confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
MY vows also said something about being 'faithful' only unto you??
he broke his..why do u have to keep yours.
2007-04-09 08:06:05 · answer #1 · answered by lisa baby... 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
the reason why people should leave when their husband cheats is bc if he cheats once, he will do it again, so i would have to say i do not think you are making the right choice by "working things out", for one, why do you need to work on anything? what did you do wrong? no matter what the problems are in a relationship cheating is never an acceptable behavior, before he decided to cheat he should have tried to work on the relationship, if things can not be worked out, then move on. i am 22 years old, my parents have been together since before i was born and my dad has cheated on my mom countless times, three times that she has found out about, i love my mom and i know she could have had a much better and more fulfilling life if she would have left my dad the first time he cheated. good luck.
2007-04-09 08:40:21 · answer #2 · answered by domsmom701 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there are a lot of people who go through things but just don't tell others about them. I have stayed with my husband after he has done things (not cheat) that others do not agree with but I love him and know that he makes mistakes as have I. If you feel that it is something you can work out, then go for it but you have to let it go which is the hardest thing. If you keep bringing it up every time you get mad then it will only make things worse.
2007-04-09 08:09:04 · answer #3 · answered by xyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I stayed.
Because originally I didn't have all the knowledge of what happened. Honestly had I known all the things I know now, I would not have hesitated for a second before throwing him out. But because he kept certain information from me at a time when I was very vulnerable, I wanted to work things out. I thought he had "made a mistake" I didn't know how bad it really was. By the time I learned everything (piece by piece a little at a time over the course of 6 months) I was so invested in working things out and he had changed so much that I decided to keep trying.
The most important indicator was that he realized exactly how selfish he had become, how self-centred he really was (and always had been) and how much I had tried before his affair to get him to open up and be close to me. He really understood (when I was about to throw him out for real) that what he did was ALL ON HIM and was really about how HE is not, me. ONce I knew he understood that, I was a lot more willing to work on things.
But yeah, a lot of my friends felt I was doing the wrong thing by continuing to work on things with him. I had faith, I guess. Mostly, as they told me later, they just couldn't stand to watch me go through so much pain and anguish when they knew quite well it was truly HIS fault.
After time has passed, he has changed drastically (and I've changed too) my friends really appreciate what we've been through and all the work we've done.
2007-04-09 09:43:36 · answer #4 · answered by Cassandra G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He didn't make a mistake - he broke a vow. What would he do if it was you who cheated? That's what you have to ask yourself. Would he make it work with you? (doubt it)
2007-04-09 09:14:28 · answer #5 · answered by Virgo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am married and there are different definitions of cheating. In my eyes my husband cheated. Sometimes it takes people to go through something awful to relize what they have. But continue with caution but in the same breath you can't hold it over his head. Follow your heart. GOOD LUCK
2007-04-09 08:09:49 · answer #6 · answered by angelintown2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I stayed with my husband. He cheated, then I cheated, and now both of us are over our childishness, and every thing's fine. If he is truly sorry, and you believe him, dump the pain into the deepest pit you can find in your mind, and leave it there. You can't bring it back every time you guys fight, or if he's late coming home one night, because that'll just torture you!
2007-04-09 08:07:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hillary Clinton is staying with hers.
For me it would have to be a pretty fabulous marriage to stay. But then if it where a good marriage, it wouldn't of happened in the first place.
2007-04-10 07:33:52 · answer #8 · answered by Threeicys 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to justify your reason for staying with your husband to anyone. You have to be comfortable with your decision and be able to look at him the way you did before he cheated.
I personally couldn't do it, but if it works for you, then that's all that matters.
2007-04-09 08:09:59 · answer #9 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cheating is a dealbreaker for me. However, lots of couples rebuild after an affair.
Check out:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rladultery
2007-04-09 08:12:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋