A female friend of mine feels extremely guilty for something she has done a little over two years ago. She wants to tell her husband but it could mean the end of their ten year happy marriage. It has nothing to do with infidelity, but it is definitely something I consider serious. Should I counsel her to keep this information to herself, or tell her to speak out, even if it means to the end of her marital bliss?
2007-04-09 07:54:50 · 9 answers · asked by bungholey h 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They are very happy with two small children, to reveal this secret would most likely mean the end of this happiness and marriage. He might even get violent/suicidal if he were to know. Ignorance is bliss??
2007-04-09 07:58:49 · update #1
No, its not an abortion. I don't feel right giving specifics about her situation.
2007-04-09 08:04:05 · update #2
If this information has direct relevance to their present and future, then yes, she should speak out. If it's something that is left in the past, and is unlikely to affect the present or the future - I would keep it to myself if I were her.
2007-04-09 07:59:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is very tricky. If it is something that is directly connected to the marriage foundation, I believe it should be shared with him. If this is something, that in passing has no direct connection to the life these two share together, then I would let it slide.
Without knowing specifics its hard to determine what would be the "right" thing to do.
If its something like, "Remember when your grandmother's ashes urn broke I blamed the open window, but it was really me." I would let it slide. But if it was "Our son that kinda doesn't look like you, might not be yours." I think I would have to speak up.
It depends on the situation I guess. But as they always say "The truth will set you free."
Its up to your friend, if telling the truth is more damaging sometimes its best to not say anything. Especially if violence/suicide may become an issue as you stated.
2007-04-09 15:55:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First she has to ask herself what she would gain by revealing such a painful arrow. If it's only to assuage her own guilt I would leave it alone. To create so much additional pain to so many more people seems too high a price to make them pay for whatever she did.
2007-04-09 08:43:00 · answer #3 · answered by dawnb 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she got an abortion, and thats the "Big secret"....forget what the husband thinks, its God I'd be worrying about.
2007-04-09 07:59:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her get it out. Its probly killing her inside. eating at her like ants on a donut. If the marriage ends, well it probly would have ended anyway sooner or later.
2007-04-09 08:21:01 · answer #5 · answered by just1more 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd definitely keep my mouth shut. If it's not going to affect the future, and he's not going to find out, then what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
2007-04-09 08:05:48 · answer #6 · answered by Sally G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's always better to tell the truth, come whatever the circumstances. He will be tiffed off enough that she didn't tell him this long.
By the way, your avatar is disconcerting, and makes one not want to answer the question in case it's weird......
2007-04-09 09:49:29 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
what the hell is it? is she a man and the two kids are adopted? how did she fake the pregnancy?
of the kids are not his?
was she a pornstar?
was she married to batman and cheated with robin?
who was the 8th president?
do you think 2pac is alive?
was she heaven sent? cause i saw a blimp went down.
what the hell is it?
what's for lunch?
i'm eating Carl's Jr.
2007-04-09 08:07:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd advice her to keep it to herself. If she learned her lesson, that's ok, end of story. If it will hurt her husband, there is no point in saying it.
2007-04-09 07:59:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋