What are the pros & cons of dating a philosopher?

Question

As a philosopher (graduate school in philosophy), I know that I can be hard to get along with. People tend to not like it when you're right about everything all the time. ;)

I always wondered about dating someone like me -- I'd either love it or hate it. What's your experience with philosophers? Do they ask too many annoying questions? (Is this question annoying??) Do they have a need to be right all the time? Are they overly critical? Condescending or holier-than-thou (because they can't use simple, everyday words)?

If you don't have any experience here but are a philosopher, what are your strengths and weaknesses in a relationship?

Answer 1

i was a philosophy major and still pursue it on my own. I think a list of the typical complaints I get from various girlfriends are 1) I overanalyze things 2) I'm too obsessed with being right 3) I don't empathize enough with random and violent emotional outbursts, and place too much emphasis on logic, 4) I don't empathise with people that 'think differently' than I do, I'm too hard on people for not thinking properly, 5) I cut people off when they don't immediately say what they mean, I get impatient when people don't immediately address the point at hand but just say whatever comes to mind without thinking it through, I get mean when people are too vague 6) I have trouble 'just listening' without putting my two cents in. 7) I can occassinally be cold and condescending.

I have to say, that as philosophers we should have refined critical thinking skills and thus make 'finer' distinctions than most people. I think that's the crux of it, philosophers tend to demand that non-philosophers start to act like philosophers. and TWO philosophers dating can be extremely volatile and can possibly lead to an over-intellectualized relationship and to competitiveness. I personally don't think i'd date a philosophy major because I find the majority of them to be a little bit too cold and unempathetic.

Answer 2

I'm not a graduate-level philosophy student, but I studied a lot as an undergrad - in fact, I'm just a couple of credits short of a philosophy degree. I gave it up because I didn't like the faculty and because I have too many credits - the university I attend is going to start charging me double tuition! I decided to focus on the program that'd be philosophical in nature, but would actually get me a job when I finished.

Anyway, to answer your question: First, I've never dated a philosopher. I've met one or two that may have interested me at one time or another - these were generally the quiet, contemplative type - and have met many who I wouldn't date if the human race depended upon it - these are the ones who love the sounds of their own voices and argued emphatically about everything (yet, couldn't argue themselves out of a paper bag).

As for myself, I know I'm difficult. I am, I think, more argumentative than average and I can sometimes be condescending. Usually, both of these traits emerge when I'm in contact with people who don't consider "the larger questions." I get irritated when people use MTv or the Bible as their only information source and try to argue and discuss issues like social welfare, government, abortion, or euthanasia from that very limited perspective. I gather a lot of information and I think a lot. I forget sometimes that other people don't.

Answer 3

I am a philosopher, and I have actually found that a philosophical mind doesn't cause any problems in a relationship at all. In fact, it's helpful, because an analytical thinker is often able to identify strengths and weaknesses in a relationship that others overlook, so they know when something needs adjusting.

As far as the condescention problem, I speak from experience when I tell you that condescention is entirely a problem of character, and not at all a problem of intellect. I have an ex who managed to belittle me at every imaginable opportunity, even when he had no basis for doing so. He was intelligent, but not philosophical at all. He was, however, also extremely arrogant. He was overly critical, but in a foolish way- he imposed his own views on others relentlessly, even though he could not justify his views if asked to do so. I am currently in a relationship with a very intelligent musician, and we have no problems at all.

Answer 4

Cant really say, you have to know the person too just because hes a pastor doesnt mean that they're in a specific group of pros and cons everyone is different Just like saying whats the pros and cons of an asian (im asian). you really cant answer that question because again everyone is different. Just depends on the person

Answer 5

I could not date a man who was not a philosopher. I get bored otherwise.

Answer 6

Like with any other type of 'expert' the danger is that they become condescending to others because there's no way someone else can know what they do.

Answer 7

If you are dating human beings, you are dating philosophers. All people have questions. We are all philosophers.