My fiance' and I have been knowing each other for four years. When we first met we were friends for about 3 months and then decided to start a relationship. Well, it didn't work. Two years later we met again and decided to give it another try. I'm a virgin and he's not. But he hasn't been sexual active in 5 years. Well, it's been a whole year now that we've been together and we are to marry in two months. We have never had sex, because he says that he respects me so much, that he wants to wait until we're married to be intimate. He also said that he prayed to God for someone like me and that he would have to make a sacrifice himself if what he wanted was me. "I hope you understand that". When we are together we hug, kiss, and play around but we've never crossed the line, and I very much so respect him for that. I don't think that he would ever cheat on me. But, you know when you are a virgin and your mate's not and he's willing to wait... it's like is this really true? Should I worry?
2007-04-09 06:52:13 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unless you have some other reason to suspect cheating, then I would just thank the deity of your choice that you found one of the few guys on earth that would respect your wishes. I would hope if he were cheating, he would have the decency not to begin a marriage in the first place.
2007-04-09 06:58:33 · answer #1 · answered by Misty P 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's naive to think that sex is everything. I don't see anything in your situation that you need to worry about. Perhaps he's not that interested in sex to begin with - not all guys are pumped up on testosterone. The only thing I would worry about to some degree is that after you two get married you might find out that you love sex and want to have it every day, and he is perfectly happy with once a month. But this is the kind of thing that you will not know until you're actually having a sexual relationship.
2007-04-09 07:06:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like a dream. He may truly be sincere. I hope it is true. However, I had a similar experience. I wasn't a virgin, but my fiancee and I decided to not be sexual until marriage. He turned out to be an impotent pedophile. The marriage lasted 3 months. Sorry for the horror story, but it is true.
YOU pray about it. I had a warning, in a dream, that I didn't heed. Of course I shared the dream with him and he explained it away; crying even, that the dream (in which he was peeking at a naked child) only showed his innocence.
If you are uneasy about this there is a reason. Trust your instinct.
2007-04-09 07:01:38 · answer #3 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please do not worry. I coomend you for having the will power to stand true to your beliefs. I think it is great that your fiance' has been so respectful. You should know in your heart whether he is true to you. Men are not like animals who have sex out of instinct. Men can control their urges. This is a situation close to my heart--I was the virgin. My husband is faithful and we've been married nearly 10 yrs. Good Luck. Try to enjoy your time w/him w/out being suspicious.
2007-04-09 07:10:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am taking a different tack on this than the rest. I would be more worried that your finance' has little or no sex drive..and after you are married, you find that you do, you are going to have some real problems. I would not buy a pair of shoes that I had not tried on for comfort. YOU are buying a future that you have NO IDEA of comfort. Virginity is NOT the commodity it is cracked up to be. He is not a virgin, why are you expected to be one...If I were you, I would get down to it .... if it is not right, then find the right one before you make a serious mistake. This whole deal is fishy, very fishy. And, on the worst case scenario, he may well be gay and wanting to hide under your skirts. If you have no experience, how are you going to know what is "normal," etc. some thing is wrong here. Trust me.
2007-04-09 07:00:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
I'm a little confused about him praying to GOD for someone like you and he has to make a sacrifice. Either he is going to remain celebate until you are married or he's not. Perhaps you should invest your time in a man who truely does want to please GOD and has saved himself for you as well. Just a thought. Thank you and may GOD bless.
2007-04-09 07:05:14 · answer #6 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, some men are capable of being men. I'd worry if after you got married you got a little knock on the door with someone elses package.
2007-04-09 07:04:38 · answer #7 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you should worry at all. It sounds like he really does respect you and wants to wait, which I think is just great! Best of luck to you.
2007-04-09 06:55:52 · answer #8 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It may not be what you want to hear, but my personal opinion is that the guy is warped. If he is going to do - whatever - for himself or for you then go for it. But if he is going to do it for god, then he has a serious problem. And if it didn't really work out before, why is it going to work out just because you are married. It is the worst case of warped logic imaginable.
2007-04-09 07:01:24 · answer #9 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
i think it's that he loves you. if he's never pressured you for sex and has been respectful it just sounds like he's a good guy who cares a lot about you! he's a keeper! just because he's not a virgin doesn't mean he can't practice abstinence, especially if it's for the one he loves.
2007-04-09 06:56:44 · answer #10 · answered by JM 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋