married friend cheated on partner, left her, went back for kids, has now cheated again......doesnt know what to do, i dont know what to say, after the 1st time, i said he'd do it again when someone else came along. doesnt seem to be putting much effort into making marraige work, just moved back in as far as i can tell to be with his kids and not go through a messy divorce...what happens in these situation?
2007-04-09 06:30:16 · 19 answers · asked by Supergirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You`re wrong - he didn`t move back in to be with his kids. If he wanted to be with his kids he wouldn`t cheat. He moved back in coz it was easier than goin out there and startin afresh on his own.
2007-04-09 06:35:05 · answer #1 · answered by yahoobloo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will keep doing it as long as he knows he can crawl back and she will take him back. He does not respect her or his marriage, or indeed his kids.
He has got her where he wants her - providing bed and breakfast and conjugal "rights" when he feels the need; and she is putting up with it because of a misguided need to protect the children.
you can bet the kids already know too much; they are much more astute than we give them credit for.
She can get tough if she wants to; it would be a good idea for her to keep any evidence of affairs for a court case.My friend's husband did the same; treated her like dirt, had flings all over the place. She finally got up courage and told him to get out, which he did - and did not give her a penny in support for their three kids. She'd to go out and get a crummy job just to keep the roof over thier heads; she sold every stick of furniture so they could be educated.
She came out a winner. She divorced him; changed her job, got a promotion; the court awarded her the family home; her kids are grown up, she is a walking success story!
2007-04-09 06:52:33 · answer #2 · answered by marie m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ain't your problem, but it sounds as though your instinct is right. Divorce is expensive and tough on everyone involved. I suspect he will carry on like this until his wife has had enough.
If he is saying he can't make up his mind, then the only thing to do is to go for counselling. After all - you predicted what would happen and he took no notice. If he is asking you to shoulder the responsibility of taking a decision for him, it won't work and I suspect he knows that
2007-04-10 07:20:16 · answer #3 · answered by tagette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's not an awful lot you can do,you are not the magic marriage fairy. He sounds like a selfish and immature idiot who has no regard for his wife or kids. He has gone back because it is an easy option,for him. He will always be a weak willed liar and his wife and especially the kids deserve better.Hope she is able to regain some self respect and get rid of the idiot and have a better and less degrading life.
2007-04-09 17:01:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is your friend the one who cheated? Your question is not very clear. The one who is being cheated on should get a lawyer, file for divorce, and get as much financially as possible out of the divorce.
2007-04-09 06:36:11 · answer #5 · answered by ra63 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes men and women who just "stick around for the kids" make it worse. Obviously the marriage isn't working. If he isn't giving it the effort to try he's better off (and the kids) to just end the marriage. He's not being the hero by shacking up with other women just to get by with his family.
2007-04-09 06:35:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every body gets hurt. Your friend is better off being honest with himself and his wife He doesn't want to be married so he should leave.
His divorce will be a lot messier when the truth comes out
2007-04-09 06:34:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you were right, once a cheater always a cheater. your friend needs to divorce the @$$. He is scum. She can do better for herself and her kids. Just be there for her right now. She is probably feeling humiliated since she took him back and he stomped all over her. Dont let her make that mistake again of takin him back
2007-04-09 06:35:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can't stay with someone just for the kids, kids need to be in a stable and happy environment and this proberly isn't any of those so the guy should leave and never go back obviously he should still have regular contact with his kids though
2007-04-13 05:28:25 · answer #9 · answered by bubblesno11979 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your friend should take some responsibility to the commitment they made. I would tell them to either be a better partner or go. It is just going to keep hurting their spouse and when someone keeps doing that to you, you start to feel worthless. No one deserves that, just because the person they love can't keep their pants on. I would be straight with my friend and tell them to stop messing around or leave.
2007-04-09 06:36:05 · answer #10 · answered by Kali's Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋