Men - If this were you, would you go back?

Question

In a 6mo period - you end your 28 year marriage finally after 2yrs of waiting, you hurt your back, lost your job and now have to move out of the house because it's going to ex - even though it is of your own free will,you meet and fall head over heals for a great gal but your two children (grown and on their own) are having issues not only with the way their Mother left them too, but that you have someone new in your life and it seems to be moving fast. Now the girlfriend says to you that your depression and uncertainty about absoutely everything were making her insecure & unhappy in the relationship so she feels she needs time to regroup herself and give you some space to work on things, but that once things were more resolved in your own life, she wanted to try again and see if there were still a chance for a future - If this were you - would you go back to her and give her a chance or would you simply cope and never speak to her again feeling abandoned in your time of need?

Answer 1

I think she did the smart thing. If you stay with her now, you will just be emotionally dependant on her. She doesn't want to be the person who rights you emotionally only to see you walk away because she reminds you of the hard times. She wants you to get on your feet and then decide if she is the one. I think you should give her a second chance.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear this but if you have a 13 year old daughter she asked a question and its about her dad and mom and her dad broke his back a little while ago you may wan tto read this and find out if it was her this is what she wrote good luck I'm sorry to hear about how hard you have had it her E-Mail is horsecrazygal0190 this is what she said I would never normally do this and hope this is not your kid but if it is she needs help!!
I've had a really tough life for a 13 year old, and recently....?
I've had a really tough time. My dad was a ship pilot when i was born, and when I was two, he fell off a ladder and broke his back. He kept trying to work, and hurt it more, so then we didn’t have any income because my mom wasn't working. We used to be in the wealthy class and after numerous moves we ending up in a 2 bedroom, 1 bath, and a kitchen house. (Me and my sister and my mom and my dad. And that’s also because my dad had drug problems.(not illegal, he just took too many and got a little crazy sometimes. 3 months ago, my mom separated from him, just to try to get him back on the right road because he was spending all our money. There has been a LOT of crap in those 3 months, and now my mom is wanting a divorce! I love my mom and dad so much, and both want the kids to live with them. They say horrible things about each other, and it kills me. I thought about attempted suicide last night, but didn't. Please, if anyone has advice or experience, please share. I am dying inside..
Additional Details
2 hours ago
I know people have it harder then me, and it has been harder then I’ve written. Thank you for the advice. I have a goal when i make it through this, that I will help other kids who have hard childhoods.
Good Luck

Answer 3

ask yourself this. Is she going to run everytime it gets rough. You were married for 28 years so you no doubt know that times get tough. If she will stick by you in those times and just want's you to have your stuff together before getting serious, then I would concider it.
Especally when daiting, women want there men to be secure, strong, and self assured. With all that's happened recently, your probibly lacking in these areas. She likes you, and see potental so she's giving you space to work on it.
On the other hand, she may just be wanting a good time, and will only be there for the good times. only you can answer which girl she is but take some time and figure it out before you decide.

Answer 4

First off dont let your kids rule your life. If they are grown then its none of their business who you date as long as she isnt hurting you. If they love you they would understand that someone made you happy and want the best for you. Second off of this woman made you happy then go back to her and work things out. Sounds like you've had a rough time over the last year or so, its only natural that you would be depressed and cranky. If she is willing to try the relationship again once you figure things out is a sign that she still has feelings for you. Its hard to be the odd person out and you dont know how to help someone you love. You can only reassure them so many times and it be geniune. Talk it over with her for both your sakes.

Answer 5

You have had a lot of changes in your once "stable" life recently to say the least and need therapy to help find focus and your own happiness in life.

You have a better future ahead and it sounds like your children love you very much. Take the time and space you need for yourself right now and take it one day at a time.

Divorce, hurting your back and losing your job are all connected to the same thing. You need to get control of your life and push positive thoughts everyday.

Get therapy, it will give you the guidance and boost you need to find your own happiness.

Everyone deserves to be loved and have happiness.

Good luck.

Answer 6

I wouldn't go back to her or anyone woman. Too much has happened in a short period of time and you need some time to yourself to plan out the rest of your life.
Get healthly and find a new job.

She seems insecure and needy and you don't need that kind of stress in your life with all that you already have going on.

So let this relationship go. In the end you will see that it was the best thing that you could have done for yourself.

Answer 7

Im not a man but from a womans point of view. If she really loved you she wouldn't leave you in your time of need you've been through a rough time and life is to short to be unhappy all the time. You will find someone who loves you regardless but its not her. I am sorry you are having such a hard time and I hope things get better for you soon. God never puts things on you that you can't deal with its amazing at all the confidence he has in humans. Be strong,get better and live life to the fullest.

Answer 8

You did alot of writing here but did not tell us anything. Why did a 28 year marriage end? Was the girlfriend before or after the end of the marriage, and what problems are the grown kids having? Sounds to me like you really screwed your life up here. Maybe not though, it is hard to tell.

Answer 9

After ending a 28 yr marriage, you really need time to get yourself back together and not involve anyone new in that process. Find a new job, a new house and heal yourself.

Answer 10

After a 28 year marriage you shouldn't even be casually dating w/in 6 months of the divorce! Work on yourself and take one step at a time.