am i being too over-protective?

Question

I would like to know what to do. Am i being over protective of my friend. maybe I just don't see it. I have known this friend for about 2 years now. she is a great person but her friend she has known for a lot longer I believe is a very bad influence. Because of their history it's hard for my friend to say no to her. She drinks & drives and I even caught her smoking up while driving. I found out that she has done this many times. I have talked to my friend many times about how I believe what she does isn't safe. but I don't think she is listening. she says it doesnt bother her. I don't know what else to do. Is there a way I can make her see her friend for what she really is.
I always get scared and worried when they go out together. what should I do?

Answer 1

If she drinks and drives call the police. Otherwise, if she kills someone, you are almosr as negligent as she is.

Answer 2

You are not being overprotective, you are just being caring. Anybody who even remotely cared about their friend would be worried if they were doing those sorts of things. She probably is listening but doesn't want to risk losing her other friend by changing her behavior around her. Keep telling her why you think that her behavior is unsafe and show her if you can. You can use things like the MADD car crash exhibits that they display at a lot of the colleges or visit a website for pictures and stories of people similar to her. Its unfortunate but she will have to have the crap scared out of her or have something either happen or come close to happening to her before she truly realizes how stupid her behavior is. There might be some good advice for how to talk to a friend about driving under the influence on a website. I hope that you get through to her and that you both stay safe. Good luck.

Answer 3

Well, you're obviously a good friend if you're worried about your friend. I truely hate drunk drivers...however...I do know people who smoke "pot" and drive and believe it or not they drive just fine. They're not impaired or anything. Of course these are older people who've been doing it for a long time. If it were a younger one who just started smoking then yeah, that's definetly very scary.
Talk to your friend again and tell her what you think and how worried you are. If she can't see that you're the better friend since you're dearly afraid for her....when her other friend is taking the chance on taking both of their lives...then it looks like she might end up having to learn the hard way honey.
Hopefully the hard way isn't a tragic way.
Hope you can get through to her.
Have you thought about confronting her other friend at all? Or would she just blow up on you since she sounds like an alkee (alcoholic)

Answer 4

I know exactly what position your in, i also know the position of your friend. I would voice your opinion to her but do not shove good behavior and moral advice down her throat for this will only push her away. As much as you want her to change, the only person who can do anything about it is her. Show her goodness through your actions and talk about some good things that have come out of you staying above the influence. If this does not get the point across, she will soon learn the consequences of that behavior. Just be there for her, unjudging, and pray she learns from her mistakes!

Answer 5

you are not being over protective, you are worried about your friend's safety and well-being. And for good reason!! If your friend will not listen to you, maybe you should give an ultimatum. This other friend would never be there if something went horrible wrong on one of their escapades, but you would be, and remind her o that. Beyond tat there is nothing you can do, unless of course she is underage. If so, off to see the parents is where you should be. ALL for her safe-keeping, and nothing else. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Tell your friend exactly what you just wrote. She should at least listento your concerns and no you are not being over protective you are looking out for her. If you are both minors- I might even go as far as dropping this information by her parents and asking that they do not disclose where they received the information.

Answer 7

No you are being a friend, shes irresponsible . If she killed or disabled someone or herself how would you feel?? Tell someone in authority that she needs help. Its in her own interest. But i tell you one thing it will be hard for her to stop these habits, so be there when she needs you the road ahead could be tough. Also don't forget reputation by association!!

Answer 8

You're right to worry, what her friend is doing is dangerous. But basically you've done all you really can. You've told your friend, and she still does it. All you can do is mention it from time to time, and look disapproving when she mentions it, just to let her know that it hasn't suddenly become okay.

But you really have no right to force her to not hang out with this friend.

Good luck.

Answer 9

is it concern or jealousy if it is your not the first person that has a problem sharing a friend. but your friend is a grown up .she's going to do what ever she wants to .if you keep talking to her about her friend that she knew longer then you.your just going to push her father away from you and closer to her long time friend.

Answer 10

nope just looking out for her best intrest i would say. i had a friend name gina that was an accident waitign to happen, she hung out with the wrong people. she would always push me away and say i was a "goody-goody". but when she hit rock bottom who do you think she called to get her back on track.

Answer 11

You should quit trying to be her MOTHER!!! Mind your own business and just be her friend. That does not include running ANY part of her life!!!