My husband leaves a big mess in the corner by his bed and I refuse to pick it up. Pop cans, wrappers, paper plates, juice bottles...its horrible. You can't see it unless you walk around the bed so I choose to leave it there, kind of wanting to see how long it will until he picks it up. I clean up the rest of the house and it looks great, I told him I refuse to clean up his corner, he's a big boy and can do it himself. I did however pick up any dishes that were there so they wouldn't mold. He walks by the trashcan on the way to the garage where he goes to smoke so I don't see why he can drop a piece of trash on the way. Its ridiculous. I don't understand why he won't pick up after himself, even a little bit. I've even set a trashcan over there and he never uses it. He'll even leave it on the kitchen counter if I wasn't there to pick it up. Am I wrong for doing this? I mean, he's a big boy, what's the harm in him throwing his own trash away?
2007-04-09 05:13:30 · 19 answers · asked by Koozie 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I clean the house, laundry, you name it, I got enough to deal with with our 2 yr old and 9 mo old. I'm not his mommy, I'm theirs.
2007-04-09 05:47:31 · update #1
He is a big boy, make him clean up his own mess.
2007-04-09 05:19:29 · answer #1 · answered by Guess Who 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old is your husband? He's acting like a two yr old with zero manners! U do realize this is a power struggle of sorts? He's winning cause ur going through his trash to find dishes.
U don't say whether he's always been this way or just started? Can u sit down & have some basic house rules? If u can't talk about it, then u could try to barter with him. Yes u gotta use what the good lord gave u, SEX. U have more power than u think. Still won't listen...
Stop doing his laundry, stop cooking for him. He'll get sick and tired of it. Then he'll be more in the mood to come to some compromise. Don't be anal about his trashing skills. Praise him for when he gets most of the stuff picked up. Start going out to eat with friends, going places without him. Only enough so he sees how much ur doing & u just want a little bit picking up after himself. Otherwise u might have to resign yourself to the fact u married a SLOB.
But if this is the extent of what is wrong in your marriage... be happy. It could be so much worse. Maybe having to pick up for two isn't so bad if everything else is GREAT?
2007-04-09 05:40:53 · answer #2 · answered by Staci 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same here g/f. He leaves a big pile on his side of the bed as well, and there I am all done w/ the laundry when Oops! I look over to his side of the bed and there it is, his stinky big pile. Ugh! It's come to his attn. once though that I was not always gonna be picking up after him when we had company over and he also leaves his clothes in the bathroom when he takes a shower, so he had left some there that day and I did not pick up after him. (he thought I did). So when the company came, one of them went into the bathroom and came right back out and said: Oh! Sorry I didn't know u were still cleaning, I'll wait. This surprised him, so he went inside and found his underwear and shorts lying around. Boy, did he get embarrased? Uh-huh! He apologized and gave me a look. But oh! Did I give him my own look right back!
Even though at times, he might still leave 'em around, but not for long, 'till I start to give him that look of "pick it up or else", when he does. : D
2007-04-09 05:48:04 · answer #3 · answered by blah 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a disgusting pig. Here is what I think you should do. Tell him every couple of days, that if his mess is not cleaned up by the next day, you are going to throw everything, and I mean everything, in that corner in the trash. Yes, even the dishes. Then when he asks why you have no dishes left, them tell him because he is a pig who choose to not clean up after himself like an adult and you threw everything out. What a pig. Divorce his lazy sorry A$s. BTW, I'm a guy, and this jerk makes me ashamed.
2007-04-09 05:27:36 · answer #4 · answered by javelin 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't pick it up and don't bother him about either.
Right now it's probably a power struggle thing in his head. You tell him what to do and he asserts his power by not doing it. Much like a child, only bigger.. lol.
In the great scheme of things this is a small issue. But if ya want to get him, maybe the next time ya have folks over, give them a tour and show them the house, including his trash pile. Might make him a bit self conscience about it and he might just pick it up.. lol. Or not.
2007-04-09 05:23:36 · answer #5 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband doesn't care if I'm on my period or not. I try not to have sex until a full 24 hrs after I've stopped but that only happens some times. Lol
2016-05-20 23:45:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ew. that cant be good having all that trash by the bed. Does it start to smell? if there is food left on the plates it might eventually attract mice or rats. Sounds like you have spoiled your hubby! lol... if you clean the rest of the house you might as well pick this up. Just go to it once a day and clean it up so it dosnt build a big mess. Thats the only afvice i can give you cause it dosnt sound like your hubby is about to lift a finger and help clean!
2007-04-09 05:21:30 · answer #7 · answered by AC 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I HEAR YOU!!!!! My husband used to leave his underwear on the bathroom floor constantly and I'll be darned if he could take his garbage the 4 feet from the computer desk to the garbage can. I actually resorted to "recycling" his underwear to see if that would motivate him to drop it in the laundry basket in the bathroom rather than leave it on the floor! You are so not wrong for doing this, and if you find a good solution, let me know! Even though my hubby and I are separated, it would be good to know for the future.
2007-04-09 05:20:20 · answer #8 · answered by Shannon H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You appear to be unable to communicate without rage, and resentment. Put a lined trash can beside his side of the bed, for starters. But the problem is a tad deeper than that---- he's pulling a passive-aggressive on you, and you need to know why..... and since you and he can't seem to agree on this, get a referee --- an uninvolved person to solve this, if you find the trash--- his trash--- so obnoxious.
2007-04-09 05:57:21 · answer #9 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"I told him I refuse to clean up his corner"
Where's the problem? If you still can't "deal" with his corner, use separate rooms, and have him keep his door shut. When you want to "be together" he'll have to come to your room, and don't let him bring anything but a robe that he must put back on to go back to "his room"
Yeah, he's a "big boy" and there is no harm is him throwing his own trash away...BUT, he's not gonna do it!
2007-04-09 05:54:57 · answer #10 · answered by Mike M. 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop buying the things he leaves around. No more cans, get the 2L bottles so he has to get a glass.
When you are out of glasses, send him to pick them up and wash them, etc.
Take two weeks off, no cooking, no cleaning, no laundry, nothing.
2007-04-09 05:39:09 · answer #11 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋