how is it not racist to say i would never date another race?

Question

i dont see how its not racism if someone says "i dont date this certain race"..were not racially divided by our eyes, hair, tall, short,...were divided by out skin color so that means someone think that another race is superior therefore thats racism..
its pretty pathetic when someone says "i'll be freinds with blah blah but i'll never date one,but i prefer blah blah"

someone please explain to me how is that not a form of racism

Answer 1

I feel ya. I've heard people say that before, but they were always very religious people, and the church told them it is "wrong" to mix races. They always did what their church told them. But I still think they were taught racism, subconsciously, and that they probably missed out on their perfect mate because of it.

Answer 2

Racism is a *****. Everyone uses it for their own devious purposes. Even those who claim to be discriminated against (whether real or invented) use race as a basis (and often a bias).
Yes, I feel that a comment like that is racist. But is it discriminatory or offensive? So a Black girl doesn't want to date me because I have white skin. Is that any different from the white girl that doesn't want to date me because I'm ugly? Or the latina that doesn't want to date me because I'm 2 feet taller than her?
I'm not saying that its right or that its wrong, but before other people can "get over" the color of my skin, I have to get over the color of my own skin. Does the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People really reduce discrimination and racism or is it merely a tool to advance a specific race? Would a National Association for the Advancement of White People be given the same opportunity?
So to answer your question, if the only thing that your friend says in regards to race is that they would never date a black person (or never date an ugly person, or never date a jock, or never date someone who posts on Yahoo! answers), then I probably would say that it is not a racist comment. Otherwise, you already know the answer.

Answer 3

Racism is giving preferential treatment to person A over person B just because of race AND when race is not relevant (for instance, when you're casting for the part of Martin Luther King, Jr. or JFK -- those are necessarily played by a black actor and a white actor, respectively.)

Does dating fall into that category? Well, maybe not. I can't think of any decision more personal than whom you date, which determines what your child will look like. Some people have a strong preference for a kid with blond hair/blue eyes....that's their perogative and right. So race could be seen as a relevant factor in dating.

Also, notice that in matters of racism, those discriminated against have some kind of claim to that which is being denied, such as a job or housing or education. No one has a right to date you or associate with you -- that's your private life.

But I agree that it's narrow-minded and prejudicial to act that way, but that's very different from being a racist, which implies some discriminatory action. Someone can be a good ol' boy from the South (the American South) who calls minorities by various slurs, but if s/he is fair in dealing with them in business, for example, then that wouldn't be racist. It's not cool, but it's also not racist.

Answer 4

not.
Racism is when you hold the belief that one race is superior to another

I have a few races (or more accurately physical characteristics) that i am not attracted to and so i have made a similar statement that i will not date from that race. Did i end up dating from that race? Yes. But even if i didn't that doesn't make me a racist.

People should learn not to take things personally. Some people say they would never date obese people. It's the same thing because in most cases, both statements are referring to physical characteristics not personalities

Answer 5

It depends on why they said it or what they meant.

I hear a lot of people say that they're just not physically or sexually attracted to (insert race here) people. Various races have various physical and sexual characteristics that some might find more/less attractive than others. In general, I find Middle Eastern girls more attractive than Asian girls, and my mother even grew up in China so it's in my blood. I don't think that's racist at all, it's just what I'm attracted to, and I have no problems being friends with them. In the same argument, is it sexist if I (a straight man) say that I don't date a certain gender (men)? It's just not what attracts me, but we can be friends.

If some people would never date another race because of social/cultural prejudices that have nothing to do with said physical attraction, then I agree that is extremely racist. Alternatively, some refuse to date other races because they yield to parental or cultural pressure.

Answer 6

I dont think it's racism if i say, "i'm not really attracted to black guys." and make a general statement, but it seems different saying "I would NEVER date a black guy." it just depends on the person. Maybe they arent racist, but they are stereotypical, and think that there is no person of a different race that they could possibly have anything in common with. it just depends on the person.
Its a touchy subject because the way you word things can make it sound like a hateful comment or a subjective statement.

Answer 7

There's nothing wrong if people choose to date people of their culture. But we should also remember that culture is regional. I would not necessarily see it a racism if an African (or Black) American (whatever they call themselves) say they would not date a white American on cultural grounds. I would however be uncomfortable if they would say that they preferred an African of South Africa over a white South African because of cultural differences.

As an African, living in South Africa, I prefer to date Africans because we come from the same background (I however had dated white South African women at some time of my life). But if I had to venture outside of South Africa, or the region as a whole, I would not necessarily prefer a black sister. If it does happen that I get her and not a brunette, it will not be by design but coincidence!

Answer 8

I don't think it's racist, just closed-minded. I do have my preference. Personally I love the look of dark-skinned black men. That doesn't mean I won't date a decent man from another race. My big issue is with religion because that's where I rely for peace in this chaotic, dangerous world.

Answer 9

It's a preference. In my eyes, it has nothing to do with being superior or having malice towards someone. I've had guys, of the same race as me, tell me that they would never date or marry with in our race. I didn't lose a wink of sleep over it and thought nothing of it. It didn't offend me at all but when it all boils down, you don't choose who you fall in love with. Cause that person of your own race, that you've been avoiding, can be the person you've been searching for.

Answer 10

i live in south africa, where we are supposed to have had the epitomy of racism.
i was born into a white, church going family.
last year i had a relationship with an indian guy from kenya. he was hindu as well. i went to temple with him, ate indian coocking, wore a sari sometimes, the works.
things didnt work out cause he had to go back home.
it became that i couldnt figure out why people were looking at us strangely when we were in town. of course it was because of our skin colours being different.
but i would not go out and seek a black partner. i am slightly racist, simply because of my upbringing, and the situation in our country. simply because the cultural divide is huge. i have plenty of black friends, and i wont rule out maybe falling in love with a black person, but i wont go out looking for a black lover.
its not racist if you dont want to different coloured lover. its a peer pressure thing as well. and the 'what will my family think' issue as well. acceptance from family and friends may make or break an otherwise stable relationship.