I am mean because of two reasons because I am angry a lot of the time and because we had a rough start at the beginning of our marriage. I was to aspire to be nicer to everyone but I want to learn how to be nicer to my husband before I go around trying to forgive the world for having insolent morons sprinkled about it.
2007-04-09 04:03:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am mean because of two reasons because I am angry a lot of the time (previous to the marriage) and because we had a rough start at the beginning of our marriage. I was to aspire to be nicer to everyone but I want to learn how to be nicer to my husband before I go around trying to forgive the world for having insolent morons sprinkled about it.
I don't think that counseling is helpful I just want some helpful tips as to what I can work on that will remind me of my sometimes hurtful words. I've heard it all from: Think before you speak, counseling, yadda, yadda, yadda. I would like some answers from somebody that has been there and knows what it's like because the cop out of counseling isn't for me, been there done that. Something a little more self active since that is more me.
2007-04-09 04:18:21 · update #1
You want it cut an dried, right? Well, honey, you already answered your own question. If you can't forgive those in your past and yourself, you're going to be hell on wheels for the rest of your life. Is that what you want? To be a whining, screaming victim spewing your venom all over those who really love you? Nasty picture, isn't it? Those people whom you hate so much don't give a rat's as*s about your feelings and how much hurt you are carrying around. You're only hurting YOURSELF! I think you need a few weeks alone somewhere to sort out your feelings, to scream and cry and get it all out of your system once and for all. Get rid of the junk or you will never move on in your life. You'll just be bitter and alone. Godloveya.
2007-04-09 04:28:29 · answer #1 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may sound a little hard to do but buy a small hand held recorder. Let him know ahead of time what you are doing and why then when you are having a conversation with him either in person or on the phone record it and when it is done play it back for yourself. Try and hear it as if you were talking to yourself and how would your tone and words affect the way you feel?
It is amazing the intonations we can put into our voices and not even realize that we are doing it.
We can sound accusatory, angry, hurt, frustrated or just insincere with a single word here or there.
I did this and believe me those first few times you wince when you hear your own voice and mannerism.
2007-04-09 11:43:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is an idea. I bet that beneath all your anger is a charming and sweet woman. Your husband can be the benefactor of that. If you feel safe with him, opening up you heart a little more can make you endearing and worthy of love.
Anger can be defused by love--pain is a little different. I think your husband has to be little more active in your desire to be nice to him. Is he walking on egg shells?
The morons of the world have yet to evolve and may never. Your life will no longer be involved with them on any level. The energy you expend in anger, is better suited in loving your husband.
2007-04-09 11:36:21 · answer #3 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because I am angry a lot of the time. That says that you need to get some help. Start with a physical to see if your hormones are in balence. Beleive me that will make you meaner than a bearcat if they are not. Then get a theripist to get over the past. Life is to short to go through it angry. Life should be happy. find out why yours isn't
2007-04-09 11:12:50 · answer #4 · answered by Shaboomshaboom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does your husband have to point this out?
Is it because you have no clue how to modify your behavior?
Spend some time talking into the mirror.
See if that person likes being talked to the way you treat others.
I'm not a religious person but there is a lot of wisdom in the treat the neighbor as you would like to be treated thing.
2007-04-09 11:36:16 · answer #5 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well....first of all, if your avatar is "dark muse", I'd say there's a lot of anger to be resolved even before there was a marriage. It's definitely counseling time for you. You can go alone or you can both agree to go as a couple.
2007-04-09 11:12:07 · answer #6 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling.
2007-04-09 11:08:05 · answer #7 · answered by Kent-B-True 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Angry a lot of the time? What about? Are you angry at him or do you just take it out on him.
2007-04-09 11:08:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Therapy. It can work wonders.
2007-04-09 11:08:54 · answer #9 · answered by Penelope Smith 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋