Hello everyone, I am a newbie. I mean I just started today. So here goes.
I am married and 28 years old. I love my wife, she is the best to me. I don't want to be divorced cause I love her dearly. So why are these tendencies to visit strip joints and flirt starting to come into my head to where I am actually planning go out and have fun at strip joints. I am also starting to think about doing thrilling things such as sky diving, extreme sports and taking care of my body and exercising, eating right. My mind is changing and I just felt like telling somebody. Anyone else experiencing this early mid life crisis?
2007-04-09 03:26:22 · 10 answers · asked by micah s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, all guys think about naked ladies at least a couple of hours a day. It doesn't mean you do not love you wife, want your wife, or want to leave your wife. It means you are a straight male and you have a healthy sex drive. No harm.
As for the other things you're thinking about, it may just mean that you and your wife are settling into a groove. This isn't bad, it just means that you two are becoming very comfortable with yourselves and falling into a routine. These things can be good and comforting to people. They can also be boring after a while... You might be fantasizing about extreme sports, but something less might satisfy what you're looking for. Why don't you plan an outing? Bring your wife, or just go with the guys. Even if it's just hiking and camping for the weekend, get out of the house and out of your routine.
Exercising and eating right are also good things... =) It's natural and it means you are starting to lose that indestructible feeling that young men have about themselves, and you're starting to worry about ensuring your survival so you can take care of your family.
Your mind and body are supposed to change as you grow, and as your marriage grows. Make sure you keep your wife on the up and up with all this so she's not blindsided when you announce in two years that you're taking off for six months to go climb a mountain or something. Get her involved with all this, and enjoy this new phase in your life together. Go running with her in the evenings, shop and cook together, go on vacation a couple of times a year, and don't forget to have your guys night here and there to satisfy that "wild side" even if you're not really doing anything wild...
2007-04-09 03:40:15 · answer #1 · answered by robin0408 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how long that you been married but from the what you wrote, it seems like you got married at a very young age and now feel that you want to explore and experience somethings that you didn't do before you got married.
Be warned here when it comes to strip clubs, besides becoming a very expense habit, it will cause a great deal of arguments with your wife. Many women do not view watching other women strip as harmless entertainment.
In any event this too will pass, and you will move on to less risky forms of entertaining yourself.
2007-04-09 03:34:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're too young for a midlife crisis. You're probably missing some of the fun of your bachelor days. It's OK to dream about these things, and you can actually do some of them - eating better, exercising, etc. As far as the topless bars, I'd recommend you skip them - they won't help your relationship any, and as you say, your wife is the most important thing for you. Tone down the flirting, too.
It's OK to have hobbies or activities that you don't share with your wife, as long as you don't shut her out of your life. YOU have to find a balance where you're both comfortable. Talk to her and see if there's something you're both interested in - skydiving, motorcycles, scuba, sailing, skiing or boarding, all these come to mind. If not, find one you can do without breaking the budget, and that she doesn't mind, and go for it. Just realize that she may decide that she wants a hobby too, and you will be obligated to say, "That's fine, dear".
2007-04-09 03:44:15 · answer #3 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called a quarter life crisis, and it's perfectly normal. How about suggesting your wife join you in these new activities. It sounds like you love her and if you want the relationship to prosper-talk to her about it! Just say you feel like having fun and doing new things. I don't know if she will approve to the strip clubs (maybe you need to work on your sex life) but she will probably be up for eating, exercising and doing new things with you!
2007-04-09 03:32:44 · answer #4 · answered by Suki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not, but I can relate because this happened to my father. I think your idea about doing some extreme sports and exercising is a great idea. Going to the occasional strip club is okay, too, but calm down on the flirting.
2007-04-09 03:29:02 · answer #5 · answered by Ask Aunt Amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody goes thru a midlife crisis, there are two ways you can handle this, you can sneak around to the strip bars and endanger your relationship. Or you cantalk to your wife about it, you might find ot that she is having a mini crisis of her own, maybe the two of you can do some things that are daring together
2007-04-09 03:33:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am there as well, my friend.
It is definitely the start of a mid-life crisis. This in no way means that you are not attracted to your wife. You just want to feel desireable.
Just don't cheat, and the rest is cool.
God luck!!
2007-04-09 03:30:46 · answer #7 · answered by David J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL..first of all what's WRONG with going to a strip joint? I don't have a problem if my hubby wants to go to one...do women still feel like it's a bad thing? Is your wife going to stand up and shake it while taking her clothes off? If not then should you not be able to go and watch others that do? Kindof like I am not going to drive fast in my car while police are chasing me b/c I just robbed a bank..butmy husband enjoys that type of excitment so we will go to a movie and watch others that do it. I dont think there is anything WRONG with you....sounds to me you feel a little freaked out about your everyday routine and you may have feelings of you not experiencing life like others do...so take her with you!!! If she doesn't want to go....go by yourself......we are not carbon copies of our spouses...so therefore we have different desires and enjoyment levels than our spouses....but unless you plan on bringing... 'Sally Sucks San Fransisco Dry'... home with you..I wouldn't think it should be a problem....oh and prob. dont scream Sally's name later that night while in bed with your wife..THEN you may have an issue!!..LOLOL....Spice up your lives...who wants hamburgers and fries for the rest of their life when they could enjoy lobster and steak together..and maybe sometimes alone or with friends!!
2007-04-09 03:39:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I f you really love your wife, you'll talk to her about it...try to find something thrilling you can do together...again if you really love her, you'll work with for a compromise you can both deal with....maybe counseling if you have trouble talking to her...but if you want your marriage to last, you need to work together to get through this....good luck!
2007-04-09 03:30:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with the titty bars. Just make sure to take plenty of $1 bills.
2007-04-09 03:32:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋