Who is the fool here? Should a teenager be given a credit card?

Question

I am all for child support, but I disagree with the extra non essential things.
My friend has 2 teenage sons who granted are very good students. They are good kids I think.
He pays child support, bought them both cars, pays their auto insurance, gives them a credit card for clothing. pays all their medical insurance and dental insurance, pays all their medical bills and dental bills.
When we go out to eat together, I pay and I drive. I think he is mooching off me to support them. I purposely forgot my billfold the other day, so he had to pay and he said "thats ok, I invited you". I think he needs to pay everytime. His ex looks like she just stepped out of a salon. Always decked out with her nails and hair done. New clothes.
I also dont think it is good for his kids not to have any responsiblity for paying their own bills. What do you think? He wears pocket t shirts old pants and is a food hoarder.

Answer 1

He's trying to appease the guilt he feels. My husband was like that with his twelve year old daughter. He felt bad about the divorce and leaving her behind etc. so it was tough for him to say no.
The result is she will be 25 next month and is an ungrateful brat. I won't bore you with the details.
But you can't tell him how to run his life. If you feel taken for granted then say so. But it's not your place to discuss his relationship with the kids or ex unless he opens the door to it. And even then you want to tread carefully.
It's good of you to care about him though.

Answer 2

I agree with you, I find it a little offending when I see kids/teens who don't have to work for anything. And everyone else is out busting their asses trying to make a living...it's a little insulting to be honest.

*I also think that teens should have some level of responsibilities, because their parents aren't going to be around forever to safegaurd them financially. So what happens when the parents die, and the kids spend all the beneficiary money?
-They're left with nothing. And they are generally clueless on how to provide for themselves, and live in the real world and hold a steady job/career.

~So yes I do agree with you, and I don't think you are in the wrong, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Whether or not everyone else agrees with it or not, well they don't have to.

-I do however think it's a little rude of him to be flaunting himself (financially) and paying for EVERYTHING for his kids, then when you all go out to dinner he expects you to pay? What the hell? I also think that if you all go out to dinner often then you can rotate who is paying for dinner, or better yet...you can say "I'll pay my own bill." and ask that the checks be separate, when the waiter comes. Then he can't argue with you...and he'll take the hint, and be "forced" to pay for his own dinner(s).

~Anyways but yes, I do feel insulted when I have to get up everyday and strive and go to work. Just to pay my bills. And these teens live off mommy and daddy, and don't have jobs or have NEVER even had a job...and don't pay for squat. So I would be a little pissed if I was in your position as well, if I had a friend who was flashing his money...and spending it like it doesn't mean anything, and then expects me to pay for his meals? Haha..hell no.

**Yeah I say just ask for a seprate check. And tell this guy you'll get your own bill. But I wouldn't bother telling him that you disagree with how he is essentially raising his kids, because that will only cause tension, and they are his kids and it's his choice on how he wants to raise them. And what values/lessons they learn from it. Whether he's right or wrong.

******let us know if it changes.

Answer 3

People are going to do whatever they are going to do...but you do not have to support this, or pay for it.

If your friend only feels obligated to offer payment for dinner in an emergency, and then only under the pretense that the invitation originated from him, then you have the wrong friend. He should at least offer every time, except on occasions such as you inviting him out for his birthday...so, maybe once a year tops, you should pay...any more than this, and you are being taken advantage of.

Answer 4

I thing he should wake up and Small the coffee his kids are mooching off him .
He need to should his kids that teenage can have a job to pay for there things.
If he pay child support he dot need to pay for medical insurance or Dental bills .He need to stop paying for there car .My husband only pay child support and sometime he send money and that sometime okay
Tell ,him that he dot need to pay for all his teenage thing ,They can get a job after school and dot be stupid giving them every thing let them work for it okay
He need to pay his self nice clothes and shoes so he can look good.
Good Luck?

Answer 5

His kids come first and it's not up to you to decide what is right for his kids. If you want someone to pay for your dinner, maybe you should move on to a man who doesn't have children.

Answer 6

I think you already know the answer to this question. Your friend is second fiddle.