Homophobia?

Question

During a conversation with my University housemates a few weeks ago, a neighbour of ours was mentioned to have had her lesbian girlfriend to come to visit her that day. One of them said that they had seen the two of them kissing each other goodbye which everyone seemed to find quite funny, describing it as "sick". I'm not a lesbian but it still made me feel a bit unformfortable and I must have been frowning because one of them suddenly asked me if I don't like gay people. I'm sure that they think I'm homophobic now but at the time, it seemed like that was what they were being. Do you think that it sounds like they were or am I just taking things too seriously?

All comments greatfully appreciated. Really, thank you.
Whether or not they really were being homophobic then, I'll try to let it go and stick to my own views.
Those of you who are gay, I'm sorry that you have to put up with comments like this, friendly joking or not.

Answer 1

Hard to say.

Could have been an all-around misunderstanding.
They may have laughed in a light-hearted, even approving manner which you misinterpreted as a kind of ridicule. Or it may have been just what you thought at the time: that they were the ones acting homophobic.

I'd just let it go.

If you continue to get similar vibes from that group, then maybe you should start looking around for a different crowd to hang out with.

Answer 2

You're not a lesbian but you sound like a decent human being. In a nutshell, yes they were being homophobic. This is the type of behaviour us gay people have to put up with from all corners of society. We cannot choose our sexual preference. It's like if right throughout your life you had to put up with 'oooooh, your not a woman are you or hear on the TV should women be allowed to be seen in the street, or hear someone snigger at you whilst you're walking down the street bcause your a woman.

What gives people the right to be so mean. So judgemental. So cruel. And alot of themselves call themselves good christian people who are suppossed to help their neighbours. Yeah, right!

Don't care what others think! You set your own standards. And the fact that you didn't go along with the others means that those standards are pretty decent.

Sincerely!

Answer 3

Young people in a group will always do what is socially expected of them because they are not strong enough (i.e mature enough) to say what they really think. Group mentality dictates that if anything gay is mentioned then people in a group will snigger or giggle and act say things like "I'm not homophobic but it's not for me" etc etc. Never underestimate the power of peer pressure over what people really feel about a subject.

Answer 4

Perhaps they do think so, but what does the term mean?
Honestly, is there really any such thing as homophobia?
(By the way, please excuse my opinions.)
It seems to me that homophobia, which should specifically mean fear of homosexuality/homosexuals, has been broadened to apply to anyone who shows any open dislike for homosexuality. It seems now to indicate anything less than tolerance for the practice/lifestyle/culture.

If I see two guys kissing in public and I say "That's nasty", somebody somewhere would say that I'm homophobic. But what am I doing besides expressing dissatisfaction with something that contradicts what I believe to be natural?
I'm not even arguing whether or not homosexuality is wrong/unnatural and all that other stuff (cuz I dont feel like dealing w/ that can of worms), I'm just saying that for those who have always believed that it was wrong, what's the matter with them expressing that?

Answer 5

The only problem I have is with the word, homophobic, which was made up by gays to describe some one that 'has a fear of ' homosexuals!
If we could have a word for which signifies a deep abhorance
for the actions performed by same sex couples,then that would be a better description for me.
I dont really understand your question, if your housemates were indicating they thought the kissing was 'sick' why should they label you as being homophobic?
Whatever the case, it really was sick!!!!

Answer 6

Now how did they figure out that she was gay, could it not have been put down to two old friends enjoying the company of each other?

If you feel uncountable with what they have to say, turn the tables on them and ask if they are homophobic

Answer 7

Loads of my friends are "homophobes"...only one of them is an actual homophobe. Does that make sense ? To fit in and feel comfotable socially, people pretend to be homophobic, racist, mysoginist and all manner of things.

I very much doubt anyone thinks youre homophobic from just this one instance. Are you sure thay described it as sick because thay are lesbians ? or is it maybe because thay find one or both of them unattractive in some way ?

Answer 8

I don't know about your friends being homophobic but they do need to grow up-laughing at people kissing goodbye is a bit odd don't you think?-maybe you were just frowning at their odd behaviour-it would make me feel uncomfortable if someone was laughing at that.Don't worry sweetie.If you're on here asking if we think you're homophobic-that says to me you're not.

Answer 9

You had a reaction to what you heard someone else say. Maybe your reaction wasn't to WHAT was being said but HOW it was being said. Using the word "sick" was probably what grabbed your attention, otherwise you probably wouldn't have cared and you wouldn't be asking this question. You're taking things too seriously. Chill out.

Answer 10

Maybe you just took things too seriously and deeply. Let's not being so hard with ourselves. Homophobias are everywhere u go in this world, but at the same time homosexual people also spread all over the world you go. You won't and will never escape homophobias and homosexual people.