Emotional Blackmail? Should I end the friendship?

Question

A friend of mine who I've known for 7 years (we see eachother every other month) seems to take pleasure in making me feel uncomfortable. Recently, she's started this sort of emotional blackmail. She's been holding onto a very unbecoming picture of me, and whenever our friends/boyfriends get together, she describes how bad the picture is, makes fun of me, and threatens to bring it out to show everyone.
So then I of course have to beg her not to. I think she gets off on having some kind of power over me. I'm getting really tired of it. Last time, I felt like telling her to get the picture just so I could grab it from her and rip it up, but that would make me as childish as she. Jokingly, I told her (in front of everyone) that I had a bad picture of her as well, and she gave me a death stare. I'm really angry.
Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Be straight with her but note this first

While ur talking to her.. b firm but not emotional (hurt/ angry/ upset rno, no's!)
Keep it short. Plan what ur gonna say. If ur afraid, nervous, practise
Don't ask her2 do/ not2do anything.. Tell her

Now, taking the above in2account just say that u dont appreciate what she's doing. It makes u uncomfortable & u would like her2stop it....


There's another solution - Don't hang around some1 who doesnt care about ur feelings & intentionally degrades/ belittes u! Ever... No1 deserves that... no matter how long uv been friends...

note; she's doin this because she may b jealous/ feel threatened... so it's not u who should b feelin bad.. ur Not the1with the problem

If u isolate her... she wont know what hit her... up2u:)

Answer 2

She sounds like a piece of work. I would take the pic the first chance I get. I would also call her out next time she makes any kind of threat to embarrass you. I would say 'are you really so insecure that the only thing you can do to feel better is to make me look bad? get a life". Let her give you the death stare, sometime people need to get taken down a notch. Personally, I wouldn't even try to be friends with her anymore, but I kind of prefer to get the last words, so I'd have to call her out first!

I too have a horrible pic of my friend that I joke about all the time, the problem is, all pics of me are horrible, so they recognize this is really no threat. Don't be so self conscious about the pic either, everybody's got one....

Answer 3

If she continually brings up this topic at any get-together you have with boyfriends, I would suggest you separate your "couple" get-togethers from your get-togethers with her. No one (male or female) likes anything like what you have described brought up repeatedly.

My guess is that she either has very poor social skills and doesn't know what else to talk to your boyfriends about -- or she is secretly jealous of you -- or perhaps even fearful of losing your close friendship with her if you should begin to get serious about someone.

Do not mix your boyfriends with this woman. If I had a friend like that I would strongly question the friendship.

Ask her for the photo back and destroy it. Then ask her never to bring up the topic again with another male friend.

Answer 4

And you call this a friendship? Wake up girl. Don't spend any time with her again and do NOT introduce her to any of your real friends. Also explain to any boyfriends you have that you used to have some really bad pictures of yourself when you were younger and that an ENEMY of yours has them and blackmails you with them. This will set the stage for the probability of her going to him with the pictures. He can then tell her he already knows about them, which will deflate her little bubble. Another thing, most of us have pictures we do not like. It is a fact of life and all we can do is laugh about how ridiculous we looked back then. Most important of all....drop this so called friend. She is NOT a friend. She is your enemy.

Answer 5

is the pic really embarassing? if it's something you can get over, then i'd focus on just moving on from this person (this is definitely not a friend). if you really feel uncomfortable about her circulating the pic, i would be more strategic-- try to ask her to see it and yes, take it and tear it up. the blackmail is really messed up... the fact that she takes pleasure in making you uncomfortable and pointing out your flaws means she is not a friend. a friend is happy for you when you are happy. don't play her game. move on and spend all this energy to make new friends. never look back her direction.

Answer 6

Yes only way you can stop this by saying yes when she says next time she will bring the picture and show to people. Next time you give her smile and say yes please do it since long i have also not seen that. Once she will see your brave face then Trust me that will be enough to break her power over you and things will be comfortable for you. People get blackmailed because they give others chance to do it. So be firm next time if she does it will be only once and you donot have to face this over again. Spartan

Answer 7

Yes you should end the friendship. It is not a friendship anyways...friends do not do things like that to friends.
Stop the relationship. Don't go around her anymore and if she calls and wants to meet, tell her that you are tired of her games and do not care to keep company with her at all anymore. Be blunt.

be cool...

Answer 8

how do you even know if there is a picture? knowing her there is no picture and yet she has convince you there is the best thing to do is the next time she says it act like it doesnt bother you at all and eventually she will stop right now she is enjoying getting a rise out of you

Answer 9

be straight forward....tell ur frend dat u don like this blackmailing thing she is doing... tell her that if she doesn stop then she wont be ur frnd anymore...
make sure u only say dat if u seriously mean to break the frndship...n if u still want to keep the 7 yrs of frndship den forget it...best of luck

Answer 10

end putting out with them. this is a few center-college drama-queen stuff top there... enable them to fester of their own drama, and bypass discover some acquaintances that at the instant are not so... ego-pushed. you're in severe college, there are a large number of fairly rational acquaintances you are able to desire to discover.