funny or not?

Question

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a fight, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night.

A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most... "When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished.

He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions:

Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? that this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life?

The wife put down her drink and said. . .
"Nah... let the old man dig. I had him buried upside down!"

Answer 1

heh clever woman! thanks for the laugh!

Answer 2

10/10 good one. Try this one.

A little bird was flying through the rainforest when it heard something calling out. It flew down and found an elephant stuck in a mud hole. Hello Mr Elephant can I help? No but go and gat the King o the jungle Mr Lion. Off the bird went and found him at home. Told him the problem so he got his Porsche from the garage and a tow rope and followed the bird to the elephant on pulled him out. The elephant was so grateful that he told him he was now his buddy and anytime he was in trouble he could call on him. …………And the months rolled by until one day the elephant was walking through the forest and he could hear a cry for help. Sounds like my buddy he thought. He found him in the same mud hole! Go get Mr Lion said the bird. Off went the elephant, crashing through the forest to the lion’s house. Knocked on the door, no answer, rushed to Mr Rhino’s house and was told Mr Lion had gone on holiday just that morning. Panic set in, he rushed to see the little bird who had now sunk up to his wing-pits. Little bird sorry Mr Lion was not in. I’ll have to get you out myself. With that he reversed up to the hole and stuck his tail out, but the bird couldn’t reach it. He tried with his trunk, still couldn’t reach. Oh no he thought but then I am a bull elephant with one other very large appendage and with that he pushed it out as far as he could reach. The little bird held on tightly with its beak and was pulled out! ……………….

And the moral of the story is if you’ve got a c**k like an elephant you don’t need a Porsche to pull a bird!!!!

Can I get the 10 points for best answer for this joke please .......

Answer 3

LOL,now he will dig all the way to the center of the earth!

Answer 4

Funny the first 1,753,876 times I heard it.

Answer 5

clever girl lol 9/10

Answer 6

Ha Ha! Funny! 10!

Answer 7

Yes it is funny. An old irish joke.

Answer 8

its ok, but any joke that long has to be 'really' funny. a long joke nuilds up aprehension to funniness at the end but if it's not that good, the reader becomes deflated really quickly.

Answer 9

jajaja that's a new version of an old joke, but I liked it better now jajaja

Answer 10

yea thats funny. nice twist at the end

Answer 11

you need to get rid of half of that cause not all needed and long jokes have to really good