what would you have done?

Question

My child was sexually assaulted by a kindergarten teacher, who did 3 years. During his incarceration i paid him a visit & told him i was going to arrange a meeting for him with his maker. Within 4 days of his release, he came knocking at my door, holding a gun which he offered me with an opology & a confession of his new found faith. I could'nt bring myself to harm him. I watched this man over time & he had truly repented, alas, my associates were less forgiving & he got his meeting after all. what would you have done under the circumstances?

common & tonks- my ex associates are incarcerated for this & they still believe they did what needed to be done, as i love my children, so do they. you assume.

lady x- how do you think he got caught?

I have left out certain details because my question was 'how would you have dealt with it?' This occurred more than 5 years ago & my son, i believe confronts the past very well.("THANK YOU" to all those that have shown concern). As for the Gangbangers who are imprisoned, i still visit them as i work with gangmembers helping them with the transition from a thug life back into society.

...& 'yes' i am a believer of God & 'yes' i am an ex gangmember.

Answer 1

Me? I would've put aside my faith and blown him away so he could never harm another child again and in retribution for my child's pain and suffering. Just because you claim to have a new faith doesn't mean you do and it most certainly doesn't mean you change. By what you say, he's dead, and that's probaly a good thing.

Answer 2

I wonder if you have watched the news like a month ago. Weren't a serial killer in Ontario or so? He murdered 50 women with with accessories used to kill pigs. DNA was brought and only 3 victims were identified.

If he repented, do you think it is acceptable to let him go and decide that God is the right to decide? In your case, your daughter was the victim. What about if there are other victims? It is ok to have faith in whatever you believe. However, by letting a crimincal go by, I don't think your God will appreciate that causing more possible victims and on top of that having a gun. I hope you daughter is doing fine now. Some has emotional stress and don't like to be touched by male. If she asks you one day why you didn't report to the police, how are you going to answer her?
If you do realize, go report now!!!!

edit: soo your friend killed him or something? If it was I, after he would knock my door and doing his stuff, I would report him about threatening and possesion of an arm. Your friend wouldn't have to do this. Unless the police was incompetent. Here, in Canada, he would be brought back to jail...some people need to spent more time in jail because it is not enough. Best wishes to your daugther.

Answer 3

So, some friends of your killed him? I think that's the jist of this. Anyhow, I don't have a child but, I don't take too kindly to child molestors (worked in a prison for quite some time). I'm less inclined to buy the whole "found religion in jail" jive. It's amazing how many supposedly do but, whatever. I'm a firm believer in letting people who are miserable live out their miserable lives. I'm also a big believer in karma. What goes around comes around. If this guy was in fact harming children, I believe his fate was probably very fitting for him. I'm not gonna stoop down to some scumbag's level for revenge, no matter how satisfying it might seem at the time. Then again, if someone harmed one of my family members, I probably wouldn't be able to control that attitude I hold now. It's really hard to say but, I think you did the right thing. Sometimes it is best to let whatever is suppose to happen just happen. Your child needs you at home, not in a prison. I think you handled the situation with grace & dignity. More than I can say for your son's abuser. Wherever he is, I hope he's unhappy.

I'd also like to say I'm sorry for what happened to your child. No one, especially a child, deserves to be abused. It's disgusting that drug dealers get more time than someone who harms a child and messes up their life and the child's families life. How some people can embrace these monsters because they supposedly repent is beyond me.

Answer 4

First, let me congratulate you on your restraint. The thought of anyone harming my children makes me feel the same way. Second, while it was not wise to threaten him, it was good that you didn't hurt him. Doing wrong will not make up for the wrong that was done to your child. It will only leave you with a wrong hanging over your head.
Finally, you should make an anonymous call to the police. Let them know what you know of his assault/death? at the hands of your associates. I have no sympathy, empathy, or anything else for pedophiles, but killing him is not right either.
I hope that your little one is healing and that you and s/he go to counseling. The entire family needs it when the most vulnerable member is attacked.
Good luck.

Answer 5

I'm sorry that your child was in this awful situation, I hope he/she is doing well now.

What I would do in your situation is to keep your child away from this man, even though he 'repented.' You can forgive him (if you do choose to do so) but that does not mean you forget what he has done.

Do not let him see your child under any circumstances, the less contact your child has the better. Get your child out of the man's kindergarten class ASAP and change classes or if you want to feel safer, switch schools.

I wish you the very best and I hope it goes well.

Take care!

Answer 6

I think that you are a troll, but I will answer all the same. I would forgive him. He paid he debit to society and it is not my place to take the law into my own hands. It may not be what I would like to do to him out of my love for my child or my rage at the SOB, but it is the right thing to do as a Christian and from a mental health perspective. I leave him to God. My child will get therapy and so will I and we will both get on with our lives and this man will bear the guilt of his crime, if he is not a psychopath, for the rest of his life.

If this is a true story, and the man is dead and you know who did it, then you must turn them in. Not to do so is to be an accomplice, and you can go to prison for it. As others have said, that will not help your child to heal.

Answer 7

What happened to your child was bad enough. If your child had to have a parent who was in jail for murder, that would have been worse. You did the right thing. That truly is an amazing story about how he offered you the gun. I wish more people would see the light before they do things like harming children.

Answer 8

Kia ora! Damn cuz, your hard to find. I heard you been kickin it here. I got an answer cuz!! to you few on this question that have shown your indignation to this man's story. Do you know him you flat footed, tight *** mutha *******? This brother has risked his neck time & time again trying to make peoples lives better on both sides of the fence & you question his morality? He turned to God for answers AFTER he went to the prison,He ASKED those involved to surrender to the police. Troll? ***** go **** yourself, your a ****** therapist ain't ya? step into the real world you TROLL. (damn cuz, get outa this place)

Answer 9

A more pertinent question is "what have you done about your associates?" You couldn't bring yourself to harm him, but it's OK to let someone else go unpunished for doing the same thing?

Answer 10

First off, I wouldn't have threatened him on a police recorded conversation...

Spending the rest of your life in jail doesn't help your child.