everything fell apart for me last month, and its getting worse. what do i do?

Question

i neva had a good life, n i dnt think i eva will. i grew up bein taught that everything happenin to me is my fault. dont gotta family, n only a couple good friends who keep me goin. i gotta history of anxiety attacks n i just had one past wednesday. i lost my job last month, kinda loosin my faith too. friends pullin away from me, i been single n lonely all my life. im worried i might loose my SSI. nobody cares to help me out, and people make it worse, i think i should die. i aint gonna do nuthin though, cuz my lil brother gonna be worse off than he already is. my one friend today cussed me out n said she dont care if i die. when otha people stressed out they expect me to help them, but nobody cares/believes/understands that im so stressed i dont feel good. im scared i might loose my apartment, and im broke. eversince i was born, nobody wanted to help me out, and blame me for everything. im never accepted, n i think i dont deserve love. im the trash can of society.

im used to bein lied to, and even my ex-dad lies to me all the time. people always do stuff behind my back. mental health agencies play me, and my caseworker ditched me a long time ago. people wander why im so negative, but i wasnt negative towards them until they started lying to me, avoiding me, and telling me its all my fault. i wanna be loved and accepted, but nobody wants me to. i wish it would all go away, n right now im at rock bottom, and things gettin so bad im afraid it might mess up my health more than it did. my medicaid stopped on me, but i dunno y. i cant afford counseling or the doctor. my hands are shaking right now. nobody even lets me tell them how it really is, because everyones stuck on the idea that its all my fault. n when people tell me i should die...right after i had an anxiety attack, it tells u i gotta bad life. i aint seekin pity, this is really the problem, n its actually worse than this. i just dont wanna put everything out there.

Answer 1

I'm sorry to hear, that, but you don't sound like a very happy person to begin with. That doesn't help, I know.

I know it's going to be hard, but try to be a little more positive. Start saying, ' have a nice day" to people you meet.

Smile, put on a clean outfit, get your resume together, go to businesses, ask if any positions available. Some places like that.

Offer to be a volunteer at one of your local charities. Helping others, might help you.

Good Luck.

And, Have A Nice Day................

Answer 2

The first thing I would do...take a deep breath. It's OK to feel overwhelmed by things. However, it's unhealthy if these negative feelings are consuming you to the point where every aspect of your life is being affected negatively. Do you have any intrests or hobbies that might help you relax? Sometimes taking your mind off of things that are bothering you can help you subconsciously work out your own problems. I know it sounds silly, but even small things like doing a crossword puzzle, or maybe fixing things around the house. It doesn't have to cost money and you don't have to go out of your way to do it. Are you artistic in any way? Almost all of the artists/musicians that you enjoy have channeled their pain into making music or painting or whatever it is that they enjoy doing. Do you really think that people like Eminem would enjoy so much fame if the issues he rapped about weren't real? The key is not to defeat yourself mentally. No one is so low that they shouldn't exist. Everyone has a purpose. I hope that you rediscover your faith and find that the pieces of your life start to come together. It won't be overnight, and it won't be easy. Just be patient and stay positive!

Answer 3

Take a deep breath... hold it... OK let it out... welcome to life my friend! Now you have 2 options here my friend.. you can continue down this road of self pity and worrying about what everybody else things,says, or what ever about you ...OR you can stop..redirect your thinking and start showing people the person you want them to see! Actions speak louder then words my friend and you need to get off your butt and start making some changes. I have been there lost my job too and I have Bipolar and anxiety as well.. I also have 3 kids who have ADHD and a husband who is bipolar as well. You make life the way you want it to be no one is stopping you from doing anything but you! You have to continue to put one foot in front of the other and don't give up. You will always have room for improvement..take peoples advice sometimes they work and do the best that you can do that is all anybody expects out of anybody!
and remember no matter how bad you have someone out there has is worse then you do!
Be safe my friend.. keep a journal and go through and solve problems.. you'll learn alot about yourself and they way you think will get you far!

Answer 4

Hey, you're being a bit hard on yourself, putting yourself in the trash can of society. You know what, you have as much right to be here as anyone else. Time to look after yourself now, forget everyone elses wants for a while. Why not write down all your immediate problems. SSI and your apartment, and then work out the best solutions possible. You lost your job, that happens, look for another one. A job that you look forward to going to each day. Keep focused on the positives in your life, your little brother and two good friends, that's great, you are not alone. I once felt in a similar position to you, but I reached out and some wonderful people came into my life, and I hope that happens for you too.

Answer 5

I was there l0 years ago. I was totally alone except for 2 people, and my job was stressing me out so badly I just quit one day. I had trouble with socializing with the people at work, so no one missed me. I was very depressed and almost drank myself to literal death. I almost lost my home. I asked the bank for help and they gave me 2 months delayed payment, I asked the county for help with my electricity bills and they paid me up to date. I had a debt counsilor help me get my bills afordable and put a ad in the paper to do housework, yard work, errands, etc. I was able to enough work to get myself back on track. Also, I told the local mental health facility that I had no money but needed help and they helped me for free for about one year. Dont be afraid to ask for help and you will find it. Talk to a church maybe.
My mother always told me that "I never told you life would be fair" and I have remembered that. Other people might not really know how bad you are hurting and if they are saying things like that then you dont really need them right now. Oh, I got licensed for my housecleaning business and have been paying into my SSI so as not to loose it. Good luck to you and dont give up. Positive thinking does help. Thoughts are things and what you think you will attract to you. So if you think on meeting friends that will be more suitable to your needs right now, then it just might happen. :) :)

Answer 6

You're looking at all that's hurt you & quit trying to find the good. You're little brother needs you. You said so yourself.
I used to think pretty much like you. Then I realized if I wanted people in my life I had to reach out to others. Other people are just as afraid as you are of being hurt. Sometimes you have to take the first step.
Have you heard the old saying for everything others did to me shame on them, if I choose to remain the same shame on me? You aren't responsible for everything bad that happens in your life. But sometimes we make wrong choices that cause bad things to happen. It's called a mistake. But we have to use the serenity prayer as somethings can't be changed, but we need to realize what the difference is.
When a child is learning to walk & falls you don't beat him with a bat, you help him up & encourage him. You need to learn how to give yourself the same grace.
You're not a trash can. You're a human being capable of loving & being loved. You have a purpose though you might not know what it is right now.
Step outside your pain & reach out to others hurting. When we lose the focus on ourself the pain lessens. 98% of the stuff we worry about never comes true & all the worry in the world won't make a difference one way or another.
You really need to see a counselor & get some medication to help with your anxiety. Then learn to let go of the past. One of the simplest prayers I know is Lord teach me to laugh again but never let me forget I cried. It's in our pain that we grow & learn to care for others in more ways than just lip service.

Answer 7

I don't understand your question. Your step-dad died, sorry. But your best friend's dad dying probably doesn't affect you very much. I don't know who's girlfriend talked to you, but if the person is dead, they don't care, because there's no such thing as an afterlife. Also, you can be talked to by whomever you want or block them and not be talked to by them. That's up to you, no one else. You don't have to obey stupid orders from bossy people that don't make sense. If you're going out of your mind, you have to think and rationalize what's happened. Writing in a journal is one way to go about it. Asking questions on here could also help. When loved ones die you remember them by embracing their life and influence on you. Inherit something he loved and put it in your room on display, take up some hobby he enjoyed, like reading his favorite book or learning golf, or continue some activity you shared with increased effort.

Answer 8

Sounds like you are not taking your medication, if you have any. If you don't, you need to get to a doctor. Depression and anxiety will destroy you if you don't get help.

Quit feeling sorry for yourself. There are plenty of people that grew up in dysfunctional families. I am one. You need to overcome those negative things by being strong. Don't give up. Don't constantly cry on other people's shoulders. Get help. You will be a happier and better person for it. You will gain the respect of others, because you did not give up. You are in control now. Take the reins, and do what is necessary for you to improve you life.

Answer 9

i gotta hear more of this story......basically i need to hear your whole life story and then i'll be able to know a little better then get back 2 u on what you should do..believe it or not I actually do care cuz u really need to sort out some stuff, this all has to do with ur father i suspect. BTW, i read in a previous question u wanted to move to Queens? well I live here.

Answer 10

No matter what, you can always change your life around. You need to sit down and think about how life can be great for you and the steps YOU can take to make it fantastic. Its sounds to me like your in a very negative environment - maybe it's a solution to move somehwre else where you can get a job and start refresh?
My best wishes