how do you help a friend who you think suffers from depression?

Question

he's anti-social, is always tired, hates his life and sometimes says he hates himself, so i think he suffers from depression. He had a bad time with an ex. I want to be his friend but he's so horrible to me sometimes, the other night he called me a b*tch and he thinks all girls are sl*ts ...then the next day he just says he was joking, even tho to me it didnt seem like that

Answer 1

I was depressed for nearly five years. There isn't a thing you can do. He'll probably get in trouble or end up in a hospital one day and finally realize he needs help. Until then, you're just spinning your wheels.

Answer 2

Tell him you are willing to be there for him but you will not tolerate him swearing at you. It's not your fault if his ex gave him a hard time. All you can do is listen. Don't worry about giving him advice, he's probably too wrapped up in his own misery to listen anyway. Just listen and allow him to get it all off his chest.
Depressed people usually lay around a lot. They have sleep disturbances which can range from not sleeping, to sleeping all the time, or waking early in the morning and not being able to get back to sleep. They can lose weight due to lack of appetite or they can put on weight because they eat for comfort. They lose interest in everything and they dont have any energy.
Severe depression can result in suicide so professional help may be needed before it gets to this stage. But, he may just be angry at the world and need time to get over it.

Answer 3

this guy is depressed--maybe bipolar too. the manic side can be confusing to you because he probably is feeling really good and thinking that things are better at that moment, day, or even as long as a week...but when the depression sets in it is always as bad as it was before, sometimes even worse. i have a male friend that is exactly like this and at first i thought i could kinda get him out of his depression but as the years have gone by i know that nothing i can do is helping him. only a doctor can diagnose and explain this disease to him so that he can understand that it is not his fault and he is not weak--depression can affect a person physically,
making them sick with real symptoms--lack of concentration, headaches, vomitting/diarrhea/constipation, chest pain, trouble just sitting or standing upright, feeling like cement weights are tied to his arms and legs, etc.... meds will help balance his brain chemistry and along with therapy and a good friend he will most likely overcome the depression. i suggest a dr. appt and offer to go along for moral support because depression also leads to paranoia and not being able to go into new situations due to uncontrollable panic and fears. really really try to encourage him go with you (his best friend who obviously cares a lot) to the doctor or psychiatriast. good luck and you need to stay strong!!

Answer 4

I've suffered from bouts of depression since I was about age12 (I'm now 28). When I started college it got really bad, however I was lucky enough to make two really great friends in my dorm. One night I had a break down. I went to the bathroom and just sobbed and sobbed on the floor. These two friends had, had enough of watching me suffer with my moods. They convinced me I had to go see a doctor and if I didn't they pulled out the ol "We'll call your parents" threat. After that I finally had the courage to go see my doctor about it. I'm very greatful for having 2 friends who hung in there with me and encouraged me even when I was a wreck. I hope my story helps.

Answer 5

This is a guy who's been burnt and hurt.
What this guy needs, probably more than anything is a good meal, a friend, and a listening ear.
Might I suggest a male friend could be more effective here than a female, as it takes the potential girl-guy relationship out of the picture...and you don't want to be in relationship with any guy who speaks derogatorily to a woman.

Answer 6

I say things like that all the time. I'm not joking, but I don't mean it. You should show him that you're upset by this, and show him that you're there for him as a friend without pushing it too much. At least then he'll know that someone cares about him.

Answer 7

This from the National Institutes of Mental Health:
"what to do when you think a freind suffers from depression"
http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/cic_text/health/friend-depressed/friend-depress.htm

Answer 8

I've had alot of friends with this, even me when my mom died. but theres not a lot you can do and thats just it. tell him if he ever needs to talk that you are there for him. but dont over do it you know. Just be there for him. ask him whats wrong if he says nothing, no doubt hes lying but just say if you wanna talk about it u can and leave it at that. dont keep bugging him it'll only make him more mad. and maybe hang out with him more. Idk wish i could help more. hope things go well

Answer 9

If that's joking it's time to dump him and find another friend, he isn't one. Maybe that girlfriend left because he's a verbally abuse jerk. I suggest you tell him, by phone, he has hurt your feelings and you don't appreciate his "joke". Tell him to see a counselor. Then, move on and find people who will treat you better.

Answer 10

He needs to go see a doctor, but dont just tell him that right out, just get him to get a physical and get him to maybe ask the doc about his mood swings, and lonesome feelings. From all the signs your posting with his feelings, sound just like me when i developed depression and aniexty. Please help him to help himself, he might be a ***, for awhile, but he needs you right now. best of luck