cutting..?

Question

okay.. i cut.. and my parents know .. my bro knows.. and my doctor knows.. and i have a counselor... but the feeling is still there.. it feels so much better after i do it.. i dont know why.. and i can not stop it. and please do not give me stupid answers like thats stupid dont do it.. or thats bad you need to stop.. cuz ive tried like everything.. but i just cant. and ive also thought about other things.. not suicide.. but like drugs and drinking.. but im not going to.. or im trying.

for me.. it just feels better to lose blood then tears. that sounds cheesy but its true.

and ppl who think everyone who does it is for attention.. you are dumb.. because.. even if you start that way.. its hard to stop. and i deffinately dont want attention. but anyways.. please help me.

and holy crap.. you people are retarted.. especially the one who said... go ahead and keep doing it..

and.. the thing about drinking and stuff.. yeah im like 14.. so i dont wanna get into that stuff...

Answer 1

I know this isn't a lot of new info, and if you're in therapy it may all be old news, but it's hard to give anything more than generic answers when you really don't know the person in any depth, but here goes. I'm hoping you might find something useful here:

Just a couple of ideas to help get you started-try to stop in small steps. Set yourself a goal to not cut for a certain time period and when you've mastered that, set yourself a goal to refrain for longer periods, depending on how frequently you are cutting. Take it one day, one hour at a time if necessary. You can do this with each episode when you feel the impulse to cut in order to increase your self-control each time you feel the desire. What you'll also find is that as you go for longer and longer periods of time without giving in to the urge to cut, you'll become more aware of all your feelings and what is driving them and therapy can really help you to understand it better and give you options to consider. Ultimately you need to make a choice to stop the behavior or it won't stop. But for starters, try making a choice to refrain for a little longer than usual and challenge yourself to extend the time for longer and longer intervals. Setting a goal to stop can be daunting, but breaking it down into steps usually works and it allows you gradual access to your emotions so you can learn alternate methods of coping a little at a time.

Also, remove and get rid of all the things with which you regulary cut. Many people have certain items they use all the time and it becomes like a ritual. Removing these things will help you gain delay time by not having them readily accessible. It won't prevent you from getting other objects, but it will decrease the likelihood that you'll act on impulse alone.

Another option that has worked for some folks is to take a doll or stuffed animal that you love and cut it instead and then stitch it up or bandage it. It allows you to vent your feelings, but also helps you recognize and empathise with the pain you are inflicting by doing this and that in turn helps develop understanding towards yourself and gives you an opportunity to engage in actions designed to help heal the hurt. Loving something else, even a stuffed animal, is often a path towards learning to love and care for yourself.

Rubber bands, drawing a red line with a marker or ice are substitutes and some folks do find this helpful, but ultimately you need to break away from the cycle of causing yourself pain in order to numb up your emotions.

One other thought to consider. What you experience when you cut is really more like relief from pain than it is like truly feeling happy. The absence of pain is not the same as feeling happy, so don't settle for less than really being happy. Good luck!!!!

I'm glad you're seeing a counselor and that your family knows and I realize that it's not at all about attention. There are many reasons why folks cut and self-injure and regardless of the reasons that drives a person to start, it becomes addicting and the endorphins it releases only makes it more addicting. Please try and stop incrementally if you find yourself unable to just stop altogether. That does work, but it takes some time and it isn't comfortable or easy-try contracting with your therapist to help with beginning that. Everyone needs to start somewhere-one day, or one hour at a time. Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

I know what you are going through, at least in part. I still have problems of thinking about cutting myself even though it has been a year since the last time I actually did cut myself. It isn't easy, and it may very well not be easy for a long time. If I could offer some advice that has helped me through some problems. Keep a small notepad and pen or pencil with you most of the time. When you get the urge or compulsion to cut, stop for a second and think about why. Even if it is too hard at the moment not too, then think about it afterword. Write down the reasons why and maybe the date; this will be your cutting journal to help you figure out why you want to cut. Try and put thought into what you write down - don't just put: "I cut my arm because I felt bad." Try and pinpoint what triggered the feelings. When you start to see a pattern, perhaps like (as was my case) feeling embarassed in front of people or feeling bad about making a mistake, realize when you are going to be most likely to cut and try and avoid those situations as much as possible. If it is a situation that is unavoidable (like being in front of people) try to know that you might be tempted to cut, and try to keep yourself from acting on that impulse.
It might sound hard, but it is worth it. I started cutting at 12, and didn't get help until I was 15. This made the problem harder for me to overcome, and I'm still struggling with it at 21. That doesn't mean give up, it's hopeless. Far from it, there is great hope, especially if you want to stop, which it sounds like you do. If you are religious at all, talk to one of your trusted religous leaders about the problem. If you are not religious, perhaps talk to a trusted adult. I wouldn't talk to your friends about it as much, because many people are less understanding (as you have probably seen by the answers that were posted). This forum is also not the best place for ideas, as - again - people are not that understanding. Try not to be angry with them: I'm sure many do have good intentions and would want to help.
Finally, do not give up. If you have a couple good months without any cutting, and then you end up cutting, don't forget your progress and give up. It's hard, and it may take a while. I had a two year period without cutting, and then relapsed for a little while after some cutting because I felt like there was no hope left. You may feel like "you've gone this far and may as well continue in this direction." This is a silly way to think: believe me, I've thought this way. Good luck.

Answer 3

I use to cut too. It was a total release for me. It brought the pain from the inside to the outside. I could see it so I knew it was real. I haven't cut in a long time. When I got on anti-depressants the urge to do it seemed to subside.

Shirley Manson of Garbage was a cutter. She once said "I wouldn't say that cutting was pleasurable, but there is a sense of euphoria that follows cutting yourself. The quick pinch of pain and the sight of blood snaps you back to the surface and you start to appreciate being alive." I always wondered why I felt so drawn to Garbage's music, and then I found out Shirley's secret was the same as mine. I found refuge in that music. I felt safe there b/c I could hear someone else had been there too. You're not alone, hon. If you want to stop, you just need to take it one day at a time.

Answer 4

Just like an addiction it takes time to quit. I've been a cutter for over 20 years. When I cut it had a calming effect. I haven't cut now in 2 1/2 years. It is possible to quit. For me it took year of counseling, groups, and medications. I found a local Dialectic Behavioural Therapy group. I have to admit I found that I benefited more from the group.
Here is a list of things that I've tried (some successful others not, you just have to experiment):
1) put ice on where you want to cut
2) pop your wrist with a band-aide
3) try to distract yourself by watching a movie.

Here is a website that has other ideas and explains what DBT is:http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/panic_list.html

Marsha Linehan introduced the DBT concept. So check into it. In order for DBT to work, you must really want to quit. Ask your therapist do they have DBT group. Also there escpecially for those of us who cut: 1-800-DONT-CUT. They are good listeners.

I realize trying to stop cutting is very challenging but it can be done. I wish you the best of luck. If you ever need to chat, e-mail me and we can use yahoo messenger to chat.

Answer 5

I pull out my hair. I have since i was 3 years old. Now i'm 34 and still can't stop doing it. It is my friend, how do you let go of something like that? I don't know, but I can give you some tips. When do you cut the most? During that time, do something else with your hands, before you even start. Once you start cutting its harder to stop, so take action before you even go there. You have to replace this habbit with another one... the other one may not be as satisfying, but at least it will keep you busy, so you won't be able to cut. I pull more when I watch T.V. , so I recently bought oven mittens that are really soft to wear while watching T.V. to prevent me from pulling in the first place. It worked the one time I used it! But most of all you have to be really ready to stop. To tell you the truth, I don't know if I'm ready to stop pulling, I kinda need it. Or do I??

Answer 6

Well first I wanna say congrats on getting help!! That takes alot of guts! Also, its great that you have the will power to stay away from drugs and drinking. And it is a hard habit to break( i dont cut but i have friends that do) But anyways, i know it relieves stress and such, have u tried putting a bandaid on and ripping it off? it causes pain but not to the degree of cutting. It helped one of my friends, though may not work, but hey its worth a try? Thats pretty much all the advice I can give you other than don't give up! (as corny as that may sound)

Answer 7

It really is a cry for help. Like you feel guilt for something & punishing yourself eases the pain. But it is like an addiction. You're not addicted to the pain but to the feeling after it's over. It is like a drug in that sense. You really need someone you can trust to talk to. Not to mention the scars think about what would happen if one time you go too deep & no one is there to help. Evidently your counselor isn't real sharp beyond the education. You need to work through whatever it is that makes it feel so good to hurt yourself. I know one girl from my childhood who did the same thing. Mostly from guilt & emotional pain in her life. It eventually spiraled until she did things to feel guilty about to justify the blood letting & get the good feel of redemption for her sins, so to speak. It got so bad she had several kids & lost all of them & ended up committed. She ran away & lived on the streets for awhile until she died at 30 something, accidently cutting an artery. By the time she was found it was too late. Don't say you're in control. She always said that too & every time she didn't die confirmed it in her mind. But we're not immortal. Something can always go wrong. It's not easy to break away from any habit, especially one that gives you a good feeling. But there's a big difference between feeling so bad you wish you could just disappear & cutting yourself thinking the feeling will go away & risking your life or becoming disabled.
Your life matters, no matter what you think. Get some real help before it gets out of control. If it means medication for awhile so be it. Real control is keeping yourself from doing what you know can & will hurt you even if it feels good for the moment. That's also courage.

Answer 8

Yeah it is hard to stop, can't really say just drink or smoke bud. You just have to get a reason to stop. I don't drink because of my little brother and sisters and I've never been drunk or buzzed. I don't think anyone can tell you an answer. You just have to stop on your own, if not for the health of yours, then for the love of something else. Make a myspace, lol. But yeah find something that you never want to leave and think about it when u start.

Answer 9

you are living my life..it is even worse when people call you names and make fun of you. i am known as the "emo" in my school because I cut myself. i know how you feel and i really wish that i could help you. everytime you are going to cut tell yourself not too..force yourself!! it is not worth it in the end even thought it does feel good! throw away your objects that you cut yourself with. this is not the best idea of how to stop but use rubber bands..snap yourself. if you find a better way the DO NOT do this! I am just sayin that if you feel like you are going to cut to just snap yourself until the urge is gone. I do this and it works for me.
don't do drugs or alcohal either. it is just a thought now but it may change into reality. I have went to that infact I tried to kill myself by drinking 5 wine coolers and a lot of nyquil..NOT a good idea. that is when life got worse for me.
and the attention thing. when people tell you that you cut..dont say anything and if they tell you to show them your cuts just ignore them so they dont think that you just want the attention.

those may not have been the best tips but I sure do hope that they help you in life.

best of wishes!!

Answer 10

I was a cutter. I know how you feel and I hope this helps you out. I'm not encouraging cutting, but you need to put scar cream on them so they will heal and use antibiotics so they don't get infected. Have you tried just holding ice on your skin untill it burns? Thats safer. If you want to talk bout it you can go to websites and forums. There is nothing wrong with you and don't let anyone ever tell you that you are. I stopped because I got on antidepressants and therapy. You can stop just be careful. I hope you can stop, its a very bad habit but i understand it.


I tried alcohol and other stuff. Thats a bad idea too. It makes it worse please don't go down that path.