i want my partner to propose.........?

Question

I would ask him, but he is a very traditionalman, and would not have It.......

He tells me all the tiome that he wants me to be his wife and wantsd me to have his children, but he wont take the next step of asking me. its not money, we have enough. I ask him why he hasn't, but he jiust laughs me of and makes a joke about me being clucky etc. We hav ebeen together on and of for 9 years, and Im getting a little tired of waiting. What do I do? I couldn't be a more loving and well behaived g/f

we live together

Answer 1

Don't rush him into it....although it's been 9 yrs??!!! He should know by now that marriage is the next step.....You need to talk to him.....life is too short and you can't wait on him forever.

Answer 2

I was in the same boat.. for probably the same amount of time. We ended up arguing and had a brief break up.. it was just the time I needed to tell him that I wasn't playing around anymore. I told him that we had been together long enough and I was serious about a committment. I pretty much gave him a quiet ultimatum. He finally proposed. NOW IT'S HIM THAT WON'T GET OFF MY BACK FOR MARRIAGE!

I suggest that you tell your boyfriend that you are no longer interested in playing around and that you are serious. You may or may not want to give a timeframe (reasonable... let him grasp the whole idea). Tell him that you love him but that if he doesn't share your future views then you'd rather get out while you have time to find your dreams.
Don't forget.. he knows that he doesn't HAVE to marry you so why make a move! Show him that he DOES have to marry you.

Answer 3

I don't know... why not give it til the tenth year or eleventh year... surely he will have gotten to know what life is like with you by then. Or maybe not... maybe twelve or thirteen years will determine how life will be with you.

I broke up with my boyfriend after FOUR years because he was not sure about marrying me or having kids with me. I refused to make it five years. In my opinion, it was ridiculous to wait, and very liberating to end it. He really showed me his colours too when I ended it, not fighting to get me back. It really showed me that I made the right decision! Maybe if my breaking up with him kicked him in the *** and got him to propose, knowing that I didn't need to wait for him to stop pissing around, I might have considered it (ONLY if he proposed). But... he didn't. His actions solidified that my decision to end it was a good one.

Maybe your boyfriend will be different, but my god, a man should want to grab you and say, "I WANT you to be my wife!!" and not let a single moment go by without taking you off the market, right?

If you ask most (not all, but most) married couples how soon they got married or better yet--got engaged - it was likely within a year. Many are within months!! When you want to be with someone forever, you don't mess around. You just do it. Marriage should not be a scary thing when the person you're spending your life with is that person you love and trust. There shouldn't even be an issue.

You should also ask yourself this question: Can you keeping living like this for the rest of your life? If the answer is yes, then keep letting him drag his heels. Who cares? If you love him and marriage is not the be all end all for you both, then live your relationship his way, and get on with your lives.

However, if his uncertainty is going to affect your relationship (because it's not a marriage you know - you're still just dating), then you have to decide how many more years you're going to condition him in to thinking that you'll cave in for him. Right now he's conditioned to thinking that you'll never leave and things are good. You're not teaching him a lesson that YOUR needs are important in this relationship as well.

I learned a long time ago, the person who loves the least has the most power. Does he have all the power in this relationship? If so, then why are you with someone who doesn't love you as much as you are loving this man? It sounds like he's denying your happiness, knows it, and is happy to keep on doing it.

So now the answer lies with you. You really do have all the power now. Stay with him and deal with it? Or leave him, and find a man who can't wait to marry you? I wish I could be a fly on the wall if it's the latter!!

Answer 4

I would tell him how you feel on the matter. I would express to him that it is not a "laughing" matter, and that if he didn't propose then I'd find someone else who will. But on the other hand, what is more important to you? Marriage or the one you love?? You should probably get your priorites in order and then figure out what to say. Oh, and I just thought of this... Who's the one with the money? In this day and age, it is not uncommon to get a pre-nup. That way BOTH your assets will be protected and no one will be at a loss!

Answer 5

His idea became ideal.. it became on my birthday very last 365 days.. We had spent the day on the city had went for massages and dinner.. when we were given decrease back hom he had prepared for his sister to come back by and positioned rose petals (those from Michaels) on the floor ensuing in the bedroom and yet another course to the kitchen table.. + there have been candles lit everywhere.. I then walked over to the kitchen table and there have been roses.. a bottle of champagne, glasses and he then were given down on one knee and proposed.... It became soooo attractive!! And it became the first time he became sooo romantic.. we've been jointly for 4 years now and that became the in problem-free words time.. lol! It became all worh it!

Answer 6

I don't know if you are living together or not. If you are not, then it's time you tell him you want to try dating others instead. Seriously, 9 years and you're still hoping this guy will get off his tush and propose? He likes it this way. How about you find someone who takes you seriously? You have a biological clock ticking you know.

And read this, it has some good analysis of the situation:

http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-3788.html

Answer 7

Maybe if you had not been "on and off for 9 years" he would have asked by now. Maybe all of this "on and off" has him worried about your staying power. No guy wants to get married to someone who isn't committed during the hard times.

The fact that you want him to do it now is more reason why he should wait. Clearly you are a bit impatient, not a good trait in a wife.

When he asks is the correct time, and not before. If you don't like it, find someone else.

Whatever you do, don't do something stupid like giving an ultimatum. To any smart guy that is a deal breaker, tells you she is more interested in the marriage than you.

Answer 8

Well, the hell with tradition i say. So he's a traditional man. If he truly was traditional, he would have asked you a long time ago.

I would ask him. You have been together for 9 years, that is way to long to wait.

Good Luck

Answer 9

look -9 years?? and you are waiting for a proposal?
give him the big ultimatum--married by this summer or hit the road. normally I wouldn't say that -but 9 years?? lol
I heard of a woman who was strung along for over 20 years--it happens.

Answer 10

Tell him to set the date or you're gone. He won't commit ever unless you give him an ultimatum. 9 years is a ridiculous time to wait. He is just stringing you along.